Anything in the world to make his death not real. Leah had been spared learning about Ben’s death until after she was released from quarantine, but that hadn’t made things any easier. Not with thinking Marigold was dead, too. “The infection took him. There was nothing you could’ve done. You didn’t give up on him.”
The other woman’s gaze was on her, but Leah’s was trained ahead of them, the empty corridor serving as a focal point for the sake of staring. “It is,” she agreed quietly, catching Rae’s meaning. “Either way is painful, though. Either way… you never get to see the one you loved again.”
It didn’t faze her when Rae snapped. In fact, Leah expected it, because she’d felt exactly the same way. She turned to look at the woman. “None of this is fair, Rae. None of it. But there is nothing you can do but find a way to cope. He’s dying and there’s no stopping it. Five years and I’m only just now learning to cope.” In a positive way. She didn’t feel she needed to remind Rae how she’d been before they all came to Sing Sing.
She shrugged. “I don’t care about apologies right now. Yell all you want.” Better that Rae yelled at Leah, rather than David or Evan.
Leah’s arm tensed into a barrier again. “I think he’d be more disappointed that you didn’t cry for him. I can’t tell you not to blame yourself, but I can truthfully say that no one blames you for how you reacted.”
When the gunshot sounded, Leah snapped her head in the direction of Elliot’s cell, her own breath coming more quietly, but her heart pounding loudly in her ears. It was over. In that moment, her opinion of their mirrored situations changed. This was worse than only hearing about the car crash her boyfriend died in. Hearing the shot that ended Elliot’s life was… Leah didn’t know what it was.
Her free hand rested lightly over her mouth and nose. She turned her eyes back to Rae, watching as the younger woman broke down. Ten times worse. Without a second thought, she put both of her arms around Rae and pulled her close. Given the range of emotions she’d seen, it was difficult to judge whether the contact was welcome or not. Leah didn’t dare loosen her grip, though. Just in case Rae decided to make a run back for Elliot’s room.