She didn’t respond at first. He couldn’t blame her, much as he wanted to listen to that voice in the back of his head that was telling him to make her say something. Anything. Just to hear her voice. He wouldn’t force her, though. He’d never forced her to do anything against her will and he wasn’t about to start now. It was a relief when she finally did speak, though, sad and filled with tears as it was. His heart broke seeing her this way, and being the reason she was this way. This was all his fault. All of it. And everyone he loved most was suffering for his stupid mistake.
Elliot was too weak to sit up on his own, to hug her like he wanted, so he had to settle for brushing his thumb along the back of her hand, a gesture he knew wouldn’t be soothing, but… it was the last time he’d get to touch her. “I never get tired of saying it, ‘cause it’s true. Especially now that I can see that little baby growing.”
His throat was tight when she told him just how much she loved him. “I know. Believe me; I’ve never doubted how much you love me. Know why? ‘Cause it’s the same way I’ve always felt about you. You kept me going when I just wanted to give up. Kept a smile on my face even when I didn’t feel like smiling. I love you so much.”
The apology was vague and could’ve been a reference to any number of things, but Elliot chose to believe it was about their current situation. “Rae, you have nothing to be sorry for. None of this was your fault. It…” He bit his lip, hesitating. “It was all me.”
Elliot turned his head enough so that he could kiss the hand resting on his cheek. “You didn’t need me for that, babe. You’re not a dumb stripper. People look at you and see this sweet, beautiful woman who just wants to help everyone.”
He should’ve known what to say. Comforting words. Apologies. An endless string of ‘I Love You’s’. Anything to make her feel even the tiniest bit better about his impending death.
Only one thing came to mind, though, and it was a throwback to that first night they’d spent together. On Christmas. “Thanks for rocking my soul, Sunshine. You made me the happiest guy this side of the apocalypse.”