With a laugh, she nodded. “Totally Wilder. Johnny Depp would just make it creepy. His teeth creeped me out. Nobody’s teeth should be that perfect. Especially the owner of a chocolate factory.”
“You compare boobs? I compare asses.” She looked at him coolly. “My boobs get plenty of attention, thanks, but if you want to keep staring, I don’t care. It’s when you try to grope me that I’ll get really annoyed.” She was fairly tall for a girl, but she wasn’t very strong, so if a guy like Sandwich Guy wanted to stare, there wasn’t a whole lot she could do about that. Her older brother could, though.
At least he had funny going for him. Guess you kinda had to be, though, if you wanted to stare at boobs and still be likable. Maddie gave a slight shrug of her eyebrows and smirked at the man’s joke about wearing a costume and fighting crime. “And battle Soup Guy. Also a plus, ‘cause it’d totally give the rest of us some much-needed entertainment. What would your costume look like, Sandwich Guy?”
“Offending people is always fun.” He invited himself to sit. Normally, Maddie would’ve griped about that, but at least he was rescuing her from looking like the lonely weirdo eating alone in the cafeteria. Still, she didn’t want to give off the impression that she’d been wanting company. A person could easily use that as insult fodder.
Maddie listened with feigned disinterest as Sandwich Guy explained how he dealt with the Head of Security. “Dude, seriously. He’s like the most high-strung person in this whole place. It’s fun to mess with him.”
She squinted her eyes thoughtfully for a moment, then said, “Think I will. And I’ll do it over the intranet.” All the easier to insult the head cook publicly. Or maybe Maddie would be nice this time. She hadn’t decided yet.