Den just smiled a helpless kind of smile and shook his head. He couldn't help it. Rory was sitting beside him. She looked sad. She didn't just wish he lived, she demanded. It was weird. When she looked fiery, he expected to cringe. To look down. To go back up to his room and shut the door, and lock it. He was used to thinking she was wishing for his death, not his life. If he'd expected such a warm welcome, Den would have tried to find her a bit faster. The truth was, he hadn't known what to expect. He might have dallied a bit because of that. Because he'd been worried he'd find her with that same glare of fire just in another direction. Of course, if he weren't currently dying, it might have been different. He supposed he'd never really know.
When Rory insisted it should have been him Den looked at her as if she'd gone a bit crazy, and tilted his head a little. He shook his head. It drove him crazy that she just didn't get this. “I wasn't competing with you,” he said. “It wasn't ever an either/or.” Sometimes it seemed like Rory thought only one of them could succeed. That if Dennis was good, it meant Rory was bad. That if their parents were proud of Dennis, they couldn't be proud of Rory. It was either one child, or the other. And maybe their parents had done things to affirm that belief in her head somehow, but if they had, it was a mistake, not a true thing. Den didn't want his parents to only be proud of him. He felt terrible that he'd somehow let Rory think that was his goal. His goal hadn't even been pride. Not really. “You were the last thing,” he said, “Dad felt bad for leaving you. He wanted to find you so bad. He would have told you.” If their dad had been there, he would have done a much better job too.
His throat felt dry all of a sudden when Rory asked about the others, and he looked away. Den didn't say anything for awhile. He could feel the moisture accumulating in the bottom of his eyes, but he didn't let it come. He shook his head, and took a breath. “Stace has been gone 4 months, 14...15 days. She didn't remember her mother.”