Once again, Elliot’s calm cloud — the one he put himself in when medical matters were at hand — was working for him. Outwardly, he displayed a mask that was both reassuring and excitedly anticipatory. Inside, his stomach was a tight knot of nerves. He didn’t think he was fooling Rae one bit, but if it allowed her to borrow some of his bravery, that was enough for him. As long as she didn’t cotton on to the dad-to-be jitters he was still experiencing. In his opinion, they weren’t anything to fuss over. His own personal doubts came and went, not even lingering long enough to be concerning, and he really just preferred handling them on his own, rather than giving his girlfriend one more needless worry.
The prospect of the ultrasound was what was bringing on his internal jitters today. Seeing what was on that screen would make it all the more real. Not that it didn’t seem real before. With each passing week, Rae’s tummy swelled a little more, the morning sickness persisted, while cravings began. The pregnancy was definitely genuine. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time.
Most couples who got pregnant so early in the relationship wound up hating one another on down the road. Because they’d rushed things. Because they’d been careless. Because they’d become two different people after the baby was born. Elliot worried that might happen between him and Rae. That parenthood would change them, push them apart. He loved Rae more than he’d ever loved any other woman in his life (aside from his mother, of course), and he didn’t want anything to break them apart. Especially their child.
When Rae stopped and turned to him, Elliot threw up a wall in his mind to block out his own anxieties so that he could focus on hers. Undoubtedly, this would be more stressful for her than for him, especially after what she’d been through earlier this month. His own concerns were nothing compared to the storm of emotions that were going through Rae’s mind. His lips quirked into a half smile. “Pretty sure this is a normal thing to be nervous about,” he replied, trying to comfort her. “And rightly so. We’re gonna get to see Little One for the first time.”
Elliot’s smile grew. Whenever Rae was exceptionally nervous, she babbled, trying to talk sense into herself. He smoothed his hands up and down her sides and shook his head slowly. “Liking you or not shouldn’t be a question at all. Babies love their parents unconditionally.” When they’re young and dependent. “And besides that, our baby isn’t developed enough to understand the concept of loving someone yet. Little One’s just in there, growing,” he explained gently, sliding one of his hands around to smooth over her stomach.
After a moment, he reached behind her and turned the knob on the door, pushing it open the reveal the private exam room with the ultrasound machine. Elliot’s eyes scanned the equipment. He’d be performing the ultrasound to see his own baby. Strange concept.