Rae Alghren (prettydeadly) wrote in immune_ic, @ 2012-06-01 00:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2012 [06] june, rae |
WHO: Rae
WHAT: Insomnia, missing Elliot and a moment of silent resolve.
WHERE: The government facility, Rae's room.
WHEN: June 2nd, midnight.
RATING: Medium for language.
STATUS: Solo.
The room was cast in darkness; Rae refused to turn the lights on in her dreary room-tomb, because it would only remind her how far she was from home. How she was in a vultures nest with people who would sooner treat her like a lab rat than keep her healthy. The only light in the room was a small, Cinderella nightlight in the corner that Marigold brought from her room, to keep the place vaguely lit because she was afraid of the dark. But that was okay. Rae didn't want to see anything.
Her eyes went to her arm; the nasty purple bruises that the needles left behind when she fought with the men prodding her were barely visible in the darkness, but they served as a vicious and painful reminder of where she was for the time being.
If Elliot was there, they'd never be able to hurt her. And even if they did, he'd hold her until the pain was gone. If Elliot was there, she'd be so much safer. But... she was glad he wasn't there. She was glad he was safe at Sing Sing. Safe at their home with people to take care of him. Better for him to be there than here, where they'd kill him.
But what if those last few days, that fight they had, were the last times she heard his voice? What if she never saw him again? Never got to tell him that she loved him again? What if she was stuck here forever, and she never got to feel the warmth of his hand touching hers again? I miss you, she thought, casting her eyes up to the barred window. I miss you so much, and we've only been apart a few days. I don't want you coming here... don't want you to have to see this place or to risk your life to save me, but... my god do I miss you.
She hugged her arms around herself and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall and pretending that her own body warmth was Elliot's, that he was holding her. That they were in their bedroom, that they were making silly jokes about their baby's future or features, or just talking about whatever silly thing David had done that day. She wasn't sure what it was they were laughing about, but they were happy and that was all that mattered. She let her imagination run wild, just a little bit, imagining the sound of his laugh in response to one of her jokes. Imagining the sound of his voice when he told her he loved her. "I love you, too," daydream-Rae said, her hand finding his face.
Her reverie drew to an abrupt close when Marigold made a soft whimpering noise in the bed, and Rae's eyes shot open, looking to see if the child was okay. When the girl rolled over and relaxed again, Rae sighed softly, closing her eyes again and trying to pull the daydream back up.
This time, her mind wasn't quite so kind to her. This time, when her eyes closed, the first thing she saw was that scientist, needle in hand and ready to draw more of Rae's blood away. The threats. If he comes for you? We'll tear him limb from limb. She felt heat in the corners of her eyes. If he even tries, we'll throw him to the zombies. They'll tear him apart and then you'll really never see him again. It's best for him that he stays away. It's best for him that he just forgets about you. She opened her eyes and shook her head abruptly, trying to dispel that thought before it went any further.
As she looked up and caught sight of the slumbering four-year-old as she clutched the pillow like a lifeline, she felt a lump forming in her throat.
Maybe she was miserable. Maybe she wanted nothing more than to leave here with Rory and AJ, and go back to Elliot and her friends and safety. But Marigold? This poor girl had it infinitely worse. This life? This government torture of a life? Was all she'd ever known. She'd probably been poked and prodded by government needles more times than Rae could count. And if they didn't get her out of here, it would continue forever.
This would not be the only life she ever knew. This wouldn't be the only life her baby would ever know.
Because Elliot was going to save them all.
They wouldn't be able to kill him. He was so much stronger than he used to be. And he loved her. That would empower him. They wouldn't be able to kill him. They couldn't. Because we need him, right? she thought, putting her hand on her stomach and looking down. They may have split us up for a little while, but daddy will save us, and we can be together again. I promise, Little Baby. You won't grow up here. Daddy and I will make sure of that.
Slowly, a little bit shakily, Rae pulled herself to her feet and walked over to the twin sized bed, sitting on the edge and pushing a stray piece of Marigold's hair from her face. And you'll see your mommy. You'll be so happy together, Marigold. I know you will, she thought, before slowly laying down against the hard hospital mattress and staring at the wall in front of her. She felt Marigold curl into her, her hands clutching the back of her shirt and her face burying into her back, and she let the tiniest of smiles cross her face.
I'll hold onto hope, babe, don't worry, she thought to Elliot, as though he could hear her. I know you're coming for us. And I know you'll save us. Because you're my hero.
Pulling in a deep breath, she let her eyes fall closed and blew the breath out slowly through her nose.
I love you, Steel. Good night.