αllíє αndrαdα wíll stєαl чσur ♥ (stoolpigeon) wrote in immune_ic, @ 2012-05-08 00:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2012 [05] may |
WHO: Allie. Open to reaction from anyone/everyone at Sing Sing
WHEN: May 8, 2019; 7:00PM
WHERE: Sing Sing cafeteria
WHAT: An attempt to make amends... too late.
RATING: Low.
But I can't accept that we're estranged Without you, without you I can't quit now, this can't be right I can't take one more sleepless night Without you, without you |
Tuesday night Karaoke had become Ollie’s little “thing” since coming to Sing Sing, and it was fun. It allowed people to cut loose and enjoy themselves. Not that they weren’t doing that already. Sing Sing was having a positive affect on nearly everyone living in the rebellious little colony. It was a safe haven out from under government control. What wasn’t to love about it? Allie had tried to find the bright sides to Sing Sing. She really had. She wasn’t ungrateful for all the freedoms she now had, and she wasn’t ungrateful for the fact that her brother was no longer forced to go out into the city. But the sad fact of the matter was… Allie wasn’t living up to Sing Sing’s expectations of her. Her social circle hadn’t expanded any, in spite of her efforts to make changes in the way she did things. Since leaving Federal Hall, she’d broken the habit of sitting around doing nothing. From Charlie, she’d acquired a few skills for defending herself. With Evan’s permission, she’d taken on the role of keeping track of the colony’s main storage of supplies. That didn’t change that the only people who actually cared to have a conversation with her was her brother, boyfriend, and best friend. And Brandon. Two out of four on the alliterative list weren’t speaking to her now. She was avoiding the last person on that last. And, as it always came down to, her brother was the only one she had to constantly lean on. It wasn’t that Allie was oblivious or uncaring of the pain she’d caused David by cheating on him with her ex. She knew she was in the wrong and she had and would continue to own up to the mistake if someone else decided to confront her about it. She could say she was sorry until she was blue in the face, and it wouldn’t make any difference. That was the part that made her angry and defensive. Not that she’d made the mistake, but that she owned up to it, explained her side of things, and it didn’t even matter. Never having been in a serious relationship like this before, Allie was at a loss for how to fix this mess. If it could even be fixed. She had to hope that it could. Hurting David in that way earned a rank in her Top Ten Mistakes of All Time, among such other classic Allie screw-ups as getting Ollie dragged off to prison and telling her papa she hated him for going on the trip… that inevitably killed him and her mother. David had put his trust in her, even after learning about her past as a professional liar. He’d trusted her and she’d broken that seal of trust in the worst possible way. Allie didn’t expect him to take her back. In fact, she was almost completely certain that he wouldn’t. Proof positive that deep and meaningful relationships weren’t meant for someone like Allie. She wasn’t yet ready to give up, though. Failure did a number on her pride, and she cared enough about David that she wanted to try to fix things. However the hell she was supposed to do that. She refused to seek Rae out for advice on this matter. Rae would only berate her and throw her perfect relationship with Elliot in her face. Allie adored her best friend to bits, but there was only so much gloating, about those two being the perfect couple, that Allie could take. Without really realizing it, Allie had allowed herself to fall into Rae’s shadow. A stripper’s shadow. Allie Andrada didn’t compete with strippers. Maybe it was selfish to consider that the main reason she wanted David back was to prove that she could fix a relationship when it went sour. What she felt for him was love, she knew that much, and could only believe that this was what being in love felt like. David made her feel important and smart when so many other people treated her like she was just a silly, pretty girl who knew nothing and was capable of nothing. With David, he’d taken away her loneliness and gave her an actual reason to smile. She didn’t smile for the sake of smiling when she was with him. The smiles had been expressions of happiness that she’d felt down to her very core. That was gone now. Had been gone since April, when David’s opinion of himself had changed. Killing those men had changed him. Allie wanted to put the blame on Leah and Rae for that. Rae for being the cause of those government men coming after her in the first place. And Leah for not killing them all herself. Maybe it was an irrational grudge Allie was holding, but it didn’t make her feel it any less. David had changed that day. He didn’t lavish her with attention like she was used to, and that’s when she’d succumbed to her old ways of ignoring problems… and taking comfort from elsewhere. A tiger doesn’t change her stripes… but apparently she can hide them for a while. Allie had always been a master of masking things. Maybe this was how she’d stayed in a relationship for so long. A subconscious act she’d been playing all along. Allie shook her head as she stood up from her table to take her place on the karaoke stage. She didn’t want to believe that it was a subconscious anything. She wanted to believe that the love she felt for David was real, and that she could convince him to forgive her. It would understandably take him a while to forget what happened… but forgiveness was the first step, wasn’t it? She had some serious making up to do, and she intended to start tonight. She didn’t expect David or Rae or even Elliot to be here tonight. They knew she always joined her brother for karaoke every Tuesday night, and were more than likely avoiding this place like the plague. That was okay. Allie still felt the need to express herself in the only way she knew how, and if the news got back to David that she’d sang especially for him (like she always did)? Well, maybe he would at least talk to her… or something. Brown eyes scanned over the sea of people seated in the cafeteria, in hopes of seeing a friendly face. She didn't know how far the news of her betrayal had traveled, but it felt like every face was looking upon her with deep-seated loathing. She stepped up to the microphone. Unlike all the other times she'd addressed the crowd, her voice was much more somber. "Tonight I'm going to sing a song to someone I love... Someone I wronged. I hope you enjoy it," she added arbitrarily. For a moment, she wondered if she'd even be able to sing at all, but the self-doubt faded as the music struck up, and Allie began to belt David Guetta's "Without You." |