Naruto - Secondary Kisses Series: Naruto Characters: Tenten, Kankurou Pairing: TentenxKankurou, LeexGaara background. Type: crack Warnings: rough, very silly. Alcohol and kissing Spoilers: very vague Sasuke retrieval arc Word Count: 645 Etc: Written since everysecondtues seemed so keen on it. It was going to be part of a larger work, but it turned out far too goofy. I should probably make a crack tag. So many cliches in this fic, but it's still mildly funny, I suppose.
“I don’t believe it,” grumbled Kankurou, pulling out a bottle of sake and not bothering with sissy saucers. Those were for chumps and the non-traumatized.
“It was genjutsu,” declared Tenten vehemently, hand held out expectantly for the bottle. The puppet master passed it over refraining from comments about pushy women, as he was more concerned about developing amnesia now.
She took a swig, made a face, and took three more before handing it back. “Tastes almost as bad as Lee’s cooking.”
“No mentioning his name! Not until I’ve scoured that image from my brain.” Not to be outdone, Kankurou took five large gulps and instantly regretted it. Damned if he’d cough, though; he was too good for that.
They passed it back and forth several times, not bothering to wipe the rim. They started on a second without hesitation.
Tenten viciously suppressed a mental Ino-voice that giggled about secondary kisses! She must be getting tipsy for something so stupid and frivolous and girly to sneak in.
“Maybe we imagined it?”
Blind hope surely meant Kankurou was further on the way to blissful drunken oblivion than she was. Like hell I’ll let him out-drink me! “If you’re imagining your brother with my teammate of all people, you’re weird.”
“Holding hands. Gaara of the desert doesn’t hold hands! Unless you count making a Desert Coffin, but that’s not, not—”
“With Rock Lee!” hollered Tenten, slamming down the empty bottle.
“Except back in the Chuunin exam, but that doesn’t count.”
“Exactly! Your freak of a brother doesn’t hold hands and smile and look almost normal!”
“Oi, he’s still my little brother. It’s not like bowl-cut is any better.”
“Lee is a freak but he’s not a killer. Figures that two weirdos would hook up.”
Instead of launching into a nasty argument, they looked at each other as realization dawned. Alcohol rearranged a few priorities for them.
“How did Lee get a boyfriend before me?” shrieked Tenten, not caring about volume or how she’d never admitted to even casual interest in dating before. “That’s not right!
“D’ya think they’ve kissed? If Gaara got his first kiss before me I’m giving up and marrying Karasu.”
Tenten’s forehead hit the table with a loud thunk! “I didn’t need to think that.”
“Which, the kissing or puppets?”
“Both. Neither.” She opened the third bottle and added, “You’re too cute to be wasted on a puppet.”
“I am not cute!” protested Kankurou, trying to retain a little dignity while drunk and failing utterly.
“You wear cat ears!”
“There’s a very good explanation for these. I just can’t remember it right now.”
Tenten scoffed, then reached out and began mussing up said headdress. “Kitty! See? Kitty. Kitty kitty kitty.”
There was a brief struggle as Kankurou attempted to make her stop and only managed to knock her legs out from under her, not thinking of the logical next step to that. After Tenten fell onto him and overbalanced the chair, they spent some time looking at each other from odd angles on the floor.
It was only when he felt her breasts pressing against his trapped arm that he realized the solution to everything was right there.
“We should kiss.”
The kunoichi eyed him like he’d suggested they take on all of Akatsuki blindfolded.
“See, if we kiss, and it’s before they kiss, we’re great.”
“But what if it’s not?”
“Then we aren’t 15 and never been kissed any more. See? Win-win situation.”
Tenten answered by leaning forward and completely missing his mouth.
It took them three tries before lips actually met.
It took five more before Tenten decided kissing wasn’t all that like the other girls made it out to be, but it was…pleasant.
A few minutes later, they’d finally gotten the hang of it when Neji walked in.
They successfully put Lee and Gaara out of their minds for some time.