Naruto - Unexpected 4 (Rumors) Series: Naruto Characters: ensemble Pairing: Lee/Gaara, various others implied Type: humor, romance Warnings: some language Spoilers: timeskip Word Count: 3268 (WTF?) Etc: This covers a fair span of time, I try to indicate that. Fivehead is an insult that came up within my group of friends regarding somebody with a rather large forehead, I figured it fit here. Not sure if there'll be a 5th part covering the time after the confession or not. I'm half-asleep so I'll probably be making corrections later. Not sure how I like this. [Talk about tag overkill.]
In a grave in Suna, the Fourth Kazekage’s corpse was spinning. Karura’s and Yashamaru’s were making valiant efforts not to join in.
“Guy-sensei!”
“Oh, Lee!” He paused on his 238th push-up. “How is my beloved pupil doing today?”
“I must talk to you on a matter of utmost importance!” Lee’s face was serious—it must be a heavy matter indeed.
Training could wait. Guy sat with his student in the shade of a tree. “What troubles you?”
Lee flailed. “Oh, it’s not trouble. Well, not really. It’s something else.” He blushed. “I think I’ve found my Most Important Person, but it isn’t who I thought it’d be. You see…Gaara and I are dating!” He was surprised at how hard it was to say that, even to his sensei.
Guy nodded sagely. “I see. You’re concerned that choosing Gaara over Sakura makes your previous feelings less important or false, or that your current emotions are somehow wrong.”
Lee nodded.
“Fear not, young man! For while Love is Pure, Selfless and Enduring, it is also Complex, Changing, and Limitless! Sometimes, it is hard to tell the many kinds of Love apart. Discovering your Love isn’t as it first seemed, your feelings changing, or loving somebody new doesn’t lessen the importance of that Love!” He posed, one finger high in the air, “Embrace the Flower of Youth with all your heart! PASSION!”
He continued for several minutes along these lines. Lee enthusiastically agreed with everything, even the bits that seemed contradictory, and came away feeling much better about his decision.
Tenten boggled. Neji unleashed his stoic glare beam of doom (not to be confused with the byakugan.)
“What—?” began the Hyuuga, stopping because the rest of the sentence was beyond his grasp. “—is the meaning of this?” finished Tenten with a much angrier tone and an accusing finger in their direction. “You’re—you’re—” She sputtered and died. “Holding hands,” finished Gaara, not understanding why everyone was having so much trouble completing sentences, or why saying that made the other three turn red. Redder, in Lee’s case, as he was doing a passable impersonation of when he opened his Life gate.
A vein near Neji’s left eye twitched.
Once the girl recovered, she cut to the chase. “Explain. Now.” “Well, you see, um…er, it kind of…” Lee was going to die of embarrassment, this very moment, and then he wouldn’t have to explain a thing. The ground failed to swallow him up. Maybe he could ask Gaara to—
Neji stared. Gaara stared. Tenten glared. Lee began to sweat under all this scrutiny. Well, nothing else to do but meet this challenge head-on!
“Gaara and I have embraced the Passion of Youth and are dating!” declared Lee, raising his unoccupied hand high in a Fist of Triumph and giving his best smile. It was easier saying it this time. Love was a wonderful thing!
Neji caught Tenten as she fainted.
Oops.
“Your response bouquet is to-to-to—”
“Gaara, like I said the last five times, Ino-san.” Was it really that shocking? Gaara was their age, after all!
“What’s wrong, Ino-pig? Mad that he got a boyfriend before you did?” Sakura interjected from the front of the shop. Lee’s heart did a few somersaults, unsure how to react.
Ino was slow to recover her jaw from the floor. “Not at all! Besides, you’re no better, Forehead-so-big-it’s-a-fivehead girl!” Sakura got up in Ino’s face. “Pig!” Ino didn’t back down. “Fivehead!”
After several more rounds of this, Lee was afraid it’d come to blows. “Um…” Just like that, they went from scary, looming harridans back to normal girls.
“I’m so happy for you, Lee-san,” said Sakura with a smile that, for once, didn’t seem sad. It had never occurred to him that she might feel guilty about not returning his feelings.
Lee grinned back, and realized he did love Sakura—just not like he once thought. She was still precious to him, but more like a sister than a potential girlfriend. The small amount of remorse he’d been harboring about giving up his pursuit released its chokehold on his heart. She was happy for him, so everything had turned out ok! Though he’d have to talk to her some time about what she said to Gaara.
“Now, for flowers, you could try yellow nasturtiums or pink dahlias…”'
What Lee didn’t know is that many girls in his age group considered him their Last Resort. Should they ever be getting old and lack a meaningful relationship, they thought they could rely on the incredibly weird but sweet boy to remain single. They could convince him to love their respective selves, he’d be faithful, bizarre, and true until they tired of him and found a more handsome lover. Nobody had expected him to be one of the first to hook up. Then came the fact that he was with Gaara (who was kind of hot if you got over the body count and insomnia,) so surely this meant the apocalypse was nigh!
The female population gave a collective sigh. Well, there was always Chouji…
“CHOUJI!” bellowed Ino.
He managed to hold back a whimper as she stormed up, lightening clouds in tow.
“You and I,” she bit out, “are going on a date. Now.” “Why me?” This meant he needed to hurry up and finish his bag of chips.
Ino held up five fingers and ticked them off. “Temari would kill me if I ask Shikamaru, Kiba would laugh at me, Shino has bugs, Neji would just stare at me, Sakura is a lost cause, and Tenten is still in shock.” “Tenten? Sakura?” he muttered in confusion. He didn’t know Ino was interested in girls. “Never mind, you’re coming with me.” Since he didn’t have a scarf to lug any more, she grabbed him by his long hair and stomped towards Ichiraku.
“Does this mean you’re paying?” Ino snarled, and Chouji decided it would be a good time to shut up.
“I heard Ino made you go out on a date,” greeted a recumbent Shikamaru. “She’s mad Rock Lee is dating somebody before her,” explained Chouji, feeling exhausted and very sick of overbearing blondes. She hadn’t let him stay long enough to order his third after-dessert snack! Shikamaru perked up a bit. “Lee? Who’s he dating?” “Gaara.” The Akamichi didn’t care too much about going out, so he didn’t share everyone’s shocked reaction. Ino had found this particularly infuriating. “Hn. That’s 16 months earlier than I expected. I thought he’d have a failed relationship with Sakura first. What a pain.” “You knew he’d want to date Gaara?” Shikamaru still surprised him with his mental abilities. “More the other way around. Gaara went out of his way to try to kill and save him, after all.” “I suppose that makes sense.” Munch munch chew swallow. “This means Kiba owes me money,” the chuunin added wryly.
The redhead wasn’t sure how to reply to that, but it didn’t surprise him that Shikamaru was betting on people’s relationships. They sat in companionable silence. As it’d been a while since he’d had time to just be with his best friend, Chouji offered the greatest symbol of friendship he knew. “Want some of my chips?”
“I won.” “Really. And what have you won?” Since this didn’t seem to be a challenge, Kakashi didn’t bother putting away his book. “One of my cute students is dating before any of yours, Eternal Rival.” Guy posed dramatically. “It’s my Victory! The Victory of Youth!” He turned a page. “Hooo? Did Tenten ask one of the boys out?” He didn’t pay much attention to the dating habits of that generation, but figured it was likely enough. Teammates spent a lot of time together, after all. His bunch of brats had been a royal pain and perfect example of inter-team romantic complications. “No. Lee has…” Guy was so big on dramatics. “Lee has…” Get on with it already. “Lee has decided to date the Kazekage!”
…Ok, the dramatics were justified this time. “Did Gaara…?” It felt impossible to finish that sentence. “He was entranced by my adorable apprentice and asked him out. Lee graciously accepted, fulfilling the Promise of their Youth!” Guy pulled out a hankie to dry his manly tears as waves crashed in the background. “Oh! So Beautiful!” After so much time near the insane jounin, he was utterly unaffected. “…Good for them.”
In truth, Kakashi preferred Lee dating Gaara to Sakura, despite the diplomatic complications. First, it meant not having to deal with mini-Guy on a regular basis. Second, he was glad there would never be any pink-haired, round-eyed, large-foreheaded, big-browed freak-babies running around in the future. Third, the thought of Guy as a pseudo-grandfather was terrifying. The Copy Ninja shuddered and went back to reading, tuning out the rest of Guy’s enthusiastic speech, wondering if the Hokage had heard the news yet.
Tsunade looked at him, then at Gaara, and sighed irritably. “I hate kids. You instinctively know the worst possible thing to do and feel compelled to do it!”
Lee did a very good impression of a kicked puppy. Tsunade wondered if the expression was calculated. (Seeing as this was Rock Lee, probably not. Bugger.) She felt her anger crumble and decided it was a good thing he had no idea how weak she was to kids looking pathetic, or it’d become a problem.
Looking away, she growled, “I’ll see how many missions I can give you in Sunagakure’s direction, but don’t get your hopes up. We’re still short on manpower.” “Thank you very much!” exclaimed Lee, smiling bright enough to blind. The Hokage grunted. “Just go, before I get cavities. Try to be discreet? And if you break up, don’t turn it into a major diplomatic incident.” “Of course, Hokage-sama,” he replied, giving Gaara’s hand an affectionate squeeze. Luckily, it didn’t crunch any bones. “If it does, I’ll—I’ll do 500 laps around Konoha on my fingertips! Though I don’t think we’ll break up, as Love is…”
Shizune gently shoved Lee out the door before his speech could get rolling. When Gaara bowed politely as he left, Tsunade wondered if it was really so bad.
When Gaara left to go back to Sunagakure no Sato after a week, Lee’s goodbye was long and very, very loud, full of manly tears and promises of eternal devotion and letters every week.
The Kazekage endured all this without expression, but whispered something in Lee’s ear that made him blush and grin so wide it looked like his face would split. The Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha forgot he was in the middle of a street and hugged his boyfriend. The residents were used to tuning Lee out, but this was too much—several people fainted. Muttering apologies to the horrified onlookers, Lee hugged Gaara one last time and watched him go. Gaara’s escort, Baki, managed to remain surprisingly calm through it all. Lee couldn’t see the ANBU guards conversing in sign language in the shadows.
After that, Ino didn’t bother spreading the news any more—the only people in Leaf who didn’t know were deaf, blind, or on missions.
Lee was in the middle of training when he noticed he had company. “Shino-kun, Kiba-kun! Back from your mission already?” “We were successful,” said Shino from the depths of his hood. Kiba’s nostrils flared, eyes widening. “You smell like sand and old blood. So the rumors are true!” He was never one to beat around the bush. Lee rubbed the back of his neck. “Wow, that spread really fast.” Oh wait, Ino knew. That explained it.
“Are you sure about this? I mean, he’s…” Kiba’s face was grim. The rain of blood was easy to remember—it still popped up in his nightmares. “…Not like he used to be. He’s changed a lot this past year, and it’s not as if I’m holding a grudge. Besides, he apologized.” Saving him from Kimimaro spoke louder than any words. The Gaara of their first chuunin exam wouldn’t have done that. “I’ll trust your judgment, then.” Kiba still thought Lee was absolutely insane, but if it made him happy, who was he to judge? “Friendship and Love always triumph!” declared Lee with a thumbs-up.
Endless optimism will be the end of him, if constantly going overboard doesn’t get him first, thought Kiba, always amazed that somebody as perky as Lee managed to stay a ninja and mentally stable. The thoughts were too dark, so Kiba pushed them away with teasing. “So, have you two gone all the way yet?”
The dog handler laughed as the taijutsu expert went through a variety of scandalized reactions.
Before Lee could settle on anger, Shino diffused the situation. “Don’t give him such a hard time. We’re both happy for you; it was merely unexpected.” Lee thought it was odd to say something like that in monotone, but that was just the Aburame for you.
After catching up a bit, the Team 8 members left the green-clad boy to his training. Kiba laughed wryly, shaking his head. Shino raised an eyebrow. “I’m never betting with Shikamaru again,” Kiba swore as soon as they were out of Lee’s earshot. “He wins too much,” agreed the bug boy, “You’re running out of money.” “I wouldn’t put money on grass being green after something like this coming true.” “Lee and Gaara…it is surprising.”
Lee was out buying groceries, contemplating what to say in his first weekly letter to Gaara when he ran into Hinata almost literally. Some quick contortionist maneuvering kept his bags clear.
“Lee-kun…” He fell in step beside her. “Hinata-san! It’s good to see you. How’ve you been?” Lee smiled. Hinata was a nice girl but painfully shy, so he didn’t have a chance to talk to her very often. The only boys she seemed comfortable around were her teammates. “I-I’ve been training with Neji for the upcoming chuunin exam.” Hinata hadn’t passed the second exam, and the one after that had been in Lightening Country—the Hokage wasn’t about to send a Hyuuga into their midst after the last fiasco. “We should train together some time; Hokage-sama might team us up.” They were the only genin left on each of their teams. “Yeah…” She looked to the side and began fidgeting, a faint blush creeping to her cheeks. “I bet you’re happy it’s in Sunagakure this year.”
He froze, mouth agape. It wasn’t that she knew—she was related to Neji, after all—it was that he’d totally forgotten about where the upcoming exam was going to be. Proving his worth as a ninja and getting to see his boyfriend? What a dream! He couldn’t possibly fail, because the Power of Love would sustain him!
Smiling and blushing, he replied, “Yes! I’m really looking forward to it.” After a moment, she looked up and met his eyes. Her smile was fragile but sincere. “Congratulations, Lee-kun. You seem happier.” “This wasn’t how I thought things would be, but…I am happy it turned out like this. I’m sure things will turn out well for you, too! We’re in the Springtime of Youth after all!”
Lee launched into an encouraging speech that lasted until he’d walked her home. She smiled the whole time behind her sleeve.
“It worked!” exclaimed Temari, clapping her hands, hardly able to believe her eyes. She’d suspected, with the constant letters, but was never able to get confirmation out of Baki. The guards who’d been around when Lee’s team had stopped by for a brief visit a month ago were also unusually tight-lipped. Asking Gaara directly would’ve been too awkward and probably just as unhelpful, and she’d been on missions almost non-stop.
“They’re…holding hands.” Kankurou sounded almost queasy. He’d been helping coordinate the chuunin exam and thus hadn’t had the time to spy on his little brother. Hands moved to hips. “Of course, couples do that.” Kankurou looked at his sister beseechingly. “What have we done?” “Huh? What’s your problem?” her posture became aggressive. “Think about what dating means, Temari. Now think about Gaara. And that Leaf nutjob. Doing stuff.” She smacked her forehead hard enough to echo, and dragged her hand down her face. “That was a mental picture I really didn’t need, thanks. And it was your idea.” “Don’t remind me.”
They stared at the red and green blob in the distance for a few moments. They’d undergo extensive torture before admitting how pleased they were . “…So when do you want to pull him aside to tell him what’ll happen if he hurts Gaara’s feelings?” “In a few hours. I want to get creative for such a special occasion.” Both of them knew it wasn’t necessary, but what was the fun in that? As they had in the past, they’d get whatever kicks they could out of their crazy little brother’s actions. It was decidedly less morbid these days.
Lee began jumping up and down wildly. “I did it! I’m a chuunin! I passed, I passed I passed! I caught up to everybody! Guy-sensei, I wish you were here!”
He continued on this vein for a while, leaping around the arena in joy. Gaara started to say nothing had been finalized yet, but when Lee caught sight of him, he caused everybody in the stadium to have a collective heart attack. He hugged Gaara, enthusiastically. When they stopped cringing and realized Lee hadn’t turned into a streak on the wall, people began murmuring among themselves.
What the fuck?
One of the councilors approached Gaara at a meeting. “Kazekage-sama, about your, erm, involvement with the Leaf chuunin…”
Gaara stared at him.
The man had the balls to continue, but Gaara’s expression led the other members to think he was about to lose them. “It’s highly inappropriate for the leader of a Hidden Village to fraternize with a foreign…”
The sand shifted in the gourd leaning against the wall. Gaara looked displeased. “You were saying?”
“…Nothing, Kazekage-sama.”
It wasn’t brought up again.
Sasuke glanced over the latest intelligence report on Wind country. “Is this accurate?” Kabuto adjusted his glasses and replied in a tight voice, “Of course. Orochimaru-sama has no use for erroneous information.”
He stared at the paper for a while. The Gaara he’d known wouldn’t be foolish enough to become emotionally attached. The Lee he’d known was naively pursuing somebody who obviously didn’t want him and wasn’t worth his time. One had done something stupid, the other something smart, and Sasuke couldn’t say which one had made the better decision.
Gaara and Lee…
It’s a good thing I got out of Konoha when I did. They’re all insane, and it’s contagious.
“What about Gaara?” “He’s the Kazekage,” said Temari with a hint of pride. “EEEEEEH? Really?” “Yeah, for around year and a half now.” “He really showed me up; I’ve got to catch up to him!” Naruto was simply thrilled. Gaara had started out behind but he’d beat Naruto to his own dream. “That’s not all he’s ahead of you on,” added Shikamaru, “He’s been dating Rock Lee for about a year.”
Naruto ran into a pole while he was busy gibbering and sputtering.
Shikamaru and Temari smirked, but became temporarily deaf when Naruto recovered enough to shout at the top of his lungs “WHAT? FUZZYBROWS AND GAARA ARE—” Two hands clapped over his mouth, one from each shinobi. “We know, Naruto. No need to shout.” “Sorry. Anyway, they’re actually dating? I mean, really really?” Naruto’s brow furrowed. “That’s kinda weird to think about.” “You get used to it.” The blond boy grinned. “I’ll have to congratulate Gaara when I see him next! I hope it’s soon.”