Fic: The Fall, 2/4 (Teddy/James II, NC-17) for loony4lupin Author:gryffindorj Recipient:loony4lupin Title: The Fall Rating: NC-17 Pairing(s): Teddy/James Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters engaging in sexual activity are 16 years or older. Summary: "You may go now. I don't want to see you back in detention again." James mutely picked up his bag, heeding Teddy's instructions. "Walk back to Gryffindor Tower, no stopping anywhere. I want to imagine you with come dripping down your legs." Warnings: None, other than the rating indicates. Word Count:~29,900 Author's Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who helped me so much. You all know who you are and I adore all of you. loony4lupin, I kept a list of your preferred kinks and ticked them off as I used them, so hopefully you will find many of them here.
On Sunday afternoon, Teddy sat in his office sipping a headache remedy that was giving little relief. His head had been pounding all day and he could hear his pulse behind his ears.
"Excuse me, Professor?" a girl said, knocking on the door.
"Yes, come in," Teddy replied.
"Hi." The girl stepped into the office - Laura Meyers, a sixth year. "Do have a minute, sir?"
"Of course, Ms Meyers."
"I can come back later," she said hesitantly.
"It's all right. Have a seat," Teddy said, standing and pointing to a chair.
"No—I'm sure—I don't want to be a bother—"
"You're not a bother. Please have a seat." Teddy smiled warmly at her, trying to ease her obvious nerves.
"Thank you," she said, closing the door.
"If you don't mind, I'd prefer if you left the door open," Teddy said. It was such a habit that he'd even said it by accident when Neville had walked in the other day.
"Um. . . r-right—" she stammered.
"If it's a private matter you may keep the door closed," Teddy said.
"It is, sir," she said, her lips trembling slightly. Teddy felt his stomach drop imagining the things she could possibly want to talk about. No one had ever wanted the door closed before.
"All right." Teddy nodded calmly.
She slowly walked to the chair Teddy had offered and sat, looking uncomfortable. Teddy couldn't help notice how young she looked, even for a sixteen-year-old. She was petite with long dark hair, and her face still carried the signs of fading teenage acne.
"Did you want to discuss your lessons? Your school work perhaps?" Teddy prompted. She shook her head and fidgeted with her hands. "All right. Something not school related then. Is it your family?" She shook her head again and this time, tears welled up in her eyes and she sniffed indelicately.
Bloody hell. Teddy hadn't a clue why girls always cried in his office. It had started with the one who wanted an essay extension, and it was as if the floodgates had opened after that. At least once a week he had some tear-stained student talking to him at one point or another. Bad job on a test, poor performance in class, stress of O.W.L.s, who they were partnered with, anything really; Teddy couldn't believe how many went to tears so easily.
"It's something else," she sighed shakily, trying to talk through her tears.
"Why don't you start from the beginning," Teddy said gently. Laura nodded, wiping her tears with her hands and then rubbing her hands across her robes.
"Albus Potter had asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him last weekend. I told him I couldn't because I already had plans, but I was lying because I'd heard Mark Gilbert was going to ask me and well, I fancied him. Mark, I mean. Not that Albus isn't nice and all, but…"
Teddy made a noise in the back of his throat, trying to sound interested in her story and not concerned she had slighted Al like that.
"And he asked me, Mark did, so I went with him. He was nice, bought me some sweets"—her lower lip began to tremble—"and held my h-hand. He was…he was friendlier than I expected."
"Friendlier, as in he paid for your drinks?" Teddy asked, not sure exactly where she was going and not wanting to presume incorrectly.
She shook her head, took a deep wavering breath, and looked at her shoes as she spoke "He was more…more, ah, touchy than most boys. For a first date. Kissed me quicker. He wanted to go back in an ally—but thought it was kind of seedy." She was really fidgeting with her hands now. "We, ah, we went back to his dormitory instead."
Teddy could see what was coming like storm clouds on the horizon, but he couldn't just make the grand assumption; he had to know for sure. "Did something happen in the dormitory?" he asked softly.
She let out a shuddering breath and nodded. Teddy felt his insides squirming unpleasantly.
"Did he…try to have sex with you?"
Laura whimpered and began to cry harder. She nodded her head and choked out a loud sob.
It was the last question in the world Teddy wanted to ask but there was no other option. "Laura, did he rape you?"
"NO!" Laura looked up, horrified, but what else was he supposed to ask when she was going to pieces like this?
"He touched you and you didn't want him to."
She nodded and he bit the inside of his cheek. It wasn't much better but at least he understood what had happened. That thought offered little comfort.
Laura cleared her throat and sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "I-I think I might have deserved it because I lied to Albus and it's all my fault. If I had just said 'yes' to Albus then nothing would have happened, and I wouldn't deserve to be punished like this."
She was right about one thing; Albus would never do something remotely close to this. Mostly because he was a good kid and he'd been taught to respect women, and partly because if it did, he knew his arse would be hexed before the thought had even formed all the way.
"Laura, you didn't do anything wrong," Teddy said. She was crying so hard Teddy wanted to pull her from her seat and hug her, telling her it would be all right, that no one deserved this. Instead he said, "You didn't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody has any right to touch you if you tell them not to. Why didn't you tell his head of house?" Teddy asked.
"Because Mark knows I have something in my trunk I shouldn't, and he said he'd tell if I said anything. He'd tell the Headmaster."
Teddy swallowed hard. It didn't make sense that she still came to a teacher if she was afraid of getting into trouble. "And your parents?"
"I'm not allowed to be on dates, or even alone with a boy in the same room."
"Why are you telling me? Weren't you concerned that I might turn you in?"
"I know, but I just…I thought you'd understand better. You aren't old like the other professors," she said, trying to control her sobs.
"Would you like me to talk to the Headmaster?" Teddy offered. She shook her head vehemently.
"Would you like me to talk to Mr Gilbert?"
"NO!" She practically jumped out of her chair. "I don't know what I want. I had to tell someone. I've felt horrible all week, and every time I see him I feel like a slut. I know he's told his friends, and I know they're all laughing at me."
"You are not a slut," Teddy said sternly.
"I don't want you to tell anyone," she said, wiping her nose again.
"I understand, and it's your decision, but if you don't tell and he isn't reprimanded, then he'll think it's okay to do it again. Not only to you, but to other girls."
"I-I know," she said, tears welling in her eyes and tricking down her cheeks. "But I can't, I just can't. If my parents found out, they'd take me out of school."
Teddy could not possibly understand her predicament, and he wondered if she wasn't maybe exaggerating about her parents' reaction, but he had to be sympathetic to her. She had come to him in confidence and he had to respect what she had told him.
"Think about what you want to do, Laura," Teddy encouraged. "But do not punish yourself by thinking you did anything wrong. You're the victim, and it's not your fault."
She nodded, smiling weakly at Teddy. "I should go now," she said, standing from her chair.
"Do you feel better?" Teddy frowned.
"Yeah, thanks, Professor. I think I feel better."
"Think about what I said, and come back here if you need anything."
"Thank you," she said opening the door. "You won't tell anyone?"
"Not unless you want me to."
"No." Her face full of conviction, she opened the door.
"Laura," Teddy called after her, and she paused with her hand on the doorknob. "If I find out that he's done this again, to you or any other female student, I'm going to have to go to the Headmaster about him. I'll keep your name confidential if I must, but I cannot allow a student to harass another in that manner and stand idly by."
She nodded stiffly and walked out of his office, closing the door behind her.
Teddy fell into his chair and sighed. He was not exactly qualified to talk to girls about things like this. He didn't much care for secrets—they destroyed people—and this was exactly the kind of secret that was poisonous. And dangerous.
It was two days later, during his N.E.W.T. class, that he remembered he had given James detention. His gut had already been in knots about what Laura had told him, and the reminder of how he'd be alone in a room with James of all people did nothing to make him feel better. He felt worse, caught between how he should act and how he wanted to act.
He wanted to help Laura, but at the same time wished she hadn't told him. He also wanted to prove to James who was in charge, but knew it was useless to try to force James to respect him.
Deciding it was best to get the detention over with, he nonchalantly called out to James as class ended, "Mr Potter, Friday night, my classroom for your detention." James looked at Teddy coldly and didn't so much as nod before turning to go.
Friday night, Teddy felt the pressure in himself building; his shoulders and neck ached, and his arms felt tired and heavy. He sat at the desk in his classroom taking out the things he had brought with him to pass the time in detention.
James walked into the classroom without knocking. His tie was loose and shirt open at the collar, sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows. He smiled smugly at Teddy through narrowed eyes.
"Where shall I sit, Sir?" James asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Teddy prickled immediately, wanting to throw James up against the wall and make him show even an ounce of respect.
"The choice is all yours, Mr Potter." James snorted and rolled his eyes as he walked away from the door. "Shut the door, Mr Potter," Teddy said, leaning back in his chair and not looking at James as he said it.
James closed the door and chose a desk four rows back from Teddy.
"You'll need parchment and a quill; you will be doing lines."
James chortled under his breath, reaching into his bag and pulling out the required items. He slouched in his chair, flipping the feather quill through his fingers. "What shall I write, Sir?"
James was insufferable. Even alone, his every action mocked Teddy. He wanted to force James to sit straight in his chair, to tie him there if need be, then take the quill from his fluid fingers and run the feather over every inch of James's skin with it. Make James ache for every instance of disrespect he had shown. Alternately, he wanted to throw him over his knee and spank him rotten, but slow torture would work almost as well, even if it was less instantly gratifying.
"Sorry, what?" James asked.
"You will write, 'Professor Lupin'."
"That's it? Your name over and over?"
"Correct. 'Professor Lupin', over and over until I tell you when you've done enough." Teddy grinned, making sure James knew he was enjoying being in charge.
As James's quill began to scratch across the parchment, Teddy went back to marking the exam he had given his third years. It was only five questions, but the grading seemed to be taking forever.
wrong, correct, correct, correct, correct, next paper, correct, wrong, wrong, correct, correct, next paper, correct, correct, wrong, wrong, half points, next paper, wrong
Teddy checked his watch as he neared the bottom of his pile; it had been only three-quarters of an hour. He stole a glance at James and quickly looked back down at the next paper, his thoughts blurring in tiredness, boredom and anxiety.
Merlin, his neck felt tight. He reached back and rubbed his neck with his left hand and stopped reading the paper he was marking. Something had changed; the room didn't feel right. Crap, James's quill was no longer making any noise. Teddy glanced up, moving his eyes only. James was watching him, and not in a merely glancing sort of way.
James's eyes were watching Teddy as he rubbed at his neck, and his tongue lightly darted out, wetting his lips. He shifted in his chair.
Teddy straightened up from leaning over his desk, meeting James's eyes. James didn't move, didn't blink, just held Teddy's gaze until Teddy raised his brows. James looked down and away, having the decency to look mildly abashed.
Teddy watched as James, now focusing on his desk, dipped his quill in the inkwell. With great deliberation James slowly, slowly, sloooow-ly dipped his quill up and down, up and down, up and down. Teddy swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. He felt like a depraved pervert. Teddy flicked his eyes to James's face. He was looking down at his desk, but Teddy could see the smirk playing at his lips. Bastard.
James pulled his quill slowly out of the ink one last time, sucked in his bottom lip and continued writing. Teddy felt a growl rumbling at the back of his throat. Right, two could play this game.
Gathering the remaining parchments, he stood sluggishly from his chair, taking care to make sure it creaked as he did. He rolled his head to one side, then the other, rubbing at his neck, purposely flexing the muscles in his forearms as he rubbed. Teddy yawned widely, stretching his arms high up over his head, his shirt riding up on his stomach just enough to reveal a visible line of skin above the waist of his trousers.
His briefcase was on the floor beside his desk, and he walked to it, slowly bending over to pick it up and place it flat on his desk. He chanced a quick look out of the corner of his eye at James, whose gaze was heavy upon him. Click! Teddy snapped open the locks of his case, and James jumped slightly, looking away. Teddy put the papers in his case and pulled out a book.
Returning the case to the floor, he set the book on the desk. Sliding his hands in his pockets, Teddy began to walk around the room. James was watching him the whole time, trying to hide his gaze under his slightly down-turned head. He continued to write his lines, albeit very slowly. Teddy strolled with great care, his shoes making a heel-to-toe scuffing noise across the stone.
He walked along the wall to James's right, past the windows, which were circled in frost. Reaching the end of the row of windows, he turned right to walk along the back wall of the classroom. Slowlyslowlyslowly. When he had reached a point behind James, he stopped.
James straightened up quickly in his chair, his quill almost falling from his grip. Teddy stood, studying James; the way his hair looked almost blue-black in the low light, his shoulders strong and erect. Teddy rubbed the tips of his fingers together; he could almost feel James' wild hair between them, pulling James's head back so he could trace the contours of James's neck with his tongue, grazing along the sensitive sides of it with his teeth.
As if James had felt Teddy thinking about him, he turned and looked over his shoulder. He raised his brow and Teddy could practically feel heat radiating from his eyes. James put down his quill and began to casually pull off his robes. "Warm in here," he said, throwing it over the back of the neighbouring chair. James ran his hand through his hair, then turned and picked up his quill once again.
Teddy chuckled to himself. If James thought that was a worthy countermove, he'd show him otherwise.
Teddy returned to pacing the room. He reached his desk, sat in his chair and pulled his book towards him. He flicked it open, leant back in his chair and put his legs on top of his desk, crossing them at the ankles.
With each turn of the page, Teddy raised his hand to his lips, and with a slow flick of his tongue, he would wet the tip of his middle finger.
After browsing through one chapter, slowly turning page after page, Teddy fingered the knot of his tie. He continued to read as the silk knot slipped free. He slid the tie from under the collar of his shirt, the whisper of silk on cotton filling the void in the otherwise silent room. He dropped the tie on his desk without looking up and suppressed a Cheshire-like grin. He could feel James's eyes on him.
Not yet content to relinquish the upper-hand he knew he now held, he flicked the first button of his collar, then the next, sliding his hand in the opening of his shirt, and softly tracing his fingers across his collarbone, touching the skin of his chest. He arched his fingers, lightly dragging his nails in the other direction across his chest. He reached the end of the page, and once again raised his finger to his lips to wet it.
Teddy's white shirt lay open just so that James would have an unimpeded view of his neck and shoulders and just a hint of chest where the flat of his pecs began. He pretended to chuckle at something amusing on the page, feeling rather devious.
After a moment, he touched his fingers to the opening of his shirt and brushed against the small spray of hairs on his chest. He heard James adjust in his chair and stopped reading, looking out of the corner of his eyes. James was staring at Teddy's fingers, his mouth open in a small 'o', and his legs wide apart. He absently licked his lips and swallowed hard as he continued to watch, his Adam's apple bobbing gracefully.
Teddy slowly moved his hand out from under his shirt, leaving the fabric pushed out enough so that James could see into his shirt. He supported the bottom of his book with his hand and with the greatest care, began to slide his other hand along the spine of the book. Up—down—up—down. His palm moved across the smooth leather pulled tight over the hard spine, up—down—up—down, feeling the ridges between the title and the author's name. Not a single movement was wasted.
As Teddy once again raised his fingers to his lips, he heard James's chair scrape across the floor. Teddy looked up this time. James's face was flushed, and he was wriggling in his seat, clearly uncomfortable.
Teddy closed his book and James looked at him directly. His face was very red, his lips were swollen and moist as if he had been repeatedly sucking them into his mouth and biting them, and his eyes shone from beneath his dark lashes. Even from where Teddy sat he could see the deep, velvety blue. Teddy dropped his legs from his desk, his cock apparently quite interested in James's reaction to their little game.
James quickly looked back down at his parchment. Maybe he was more undone than Teddy thought, as it wasn't like James to be shy…ever.
Standing, Teddy walked down an aisle in between desks, past James, whose free hand was gripping the knee of his trousers. Teddy reached the end of the aisle, turned on his heel and walked back up the same aisle, stopping just behind James.
Resting on hand on the chair behind James's shoulder, he leaned over so that he was only a breath away from James's ear. James froze, like prey caught in a trap. For the first time Teddy smelled James, actually taking in his scent and concentrating on it. There was that bit of boy coming off his heated flesh, his shirt undoubtedly carried a scent of the Hogwarts laundry, and he could also smell the silk of James's tie, his soap and shampoo and a whiff of aftershave. It was intoxicating.
"Are you quite finished, Mr Potter?" Teddy said, his deep voice registering barely above a whisper.
"Yes?" Teddy said with a tinge of forcefulness.
"Sir." The word came slowly from James's lips and his eyes fluttered closed as he said it. Teddy felt his cock pressing insistently against his pants now.
"Good boy, leave the parchment." James didn't move. "You may leave now."
James closed his bottle of ink and threw it into his bag along with his quill.
Teddy stood straight and stepped back to let James stand. James had almost made it to the door before Teddy said; "Before you leave…" Teddy let the words hang in the hot air of the classroom. "…I want you to tell me why you're in such a hurry, why your hand was twisted in the leg of your trousers."
James didn't move. He stared straight at the door, did not speak, didn't so much as breath.
"Are you going to answer me?"
James shook his head slowly.
"Then show me."
Thud! James's heavy bag fell to the floor. He turned to face Teddy, his hand flying to palm his hard cock over his trousers. His chest heaved as he looked at Teddy, slowly rubbing himself.
"You're hard for me, aren't you?" Teddy practically purred. James nodded. "Bring yourself off for me, here, while I watch."
James's hand went to his belt.
"No," Teddy said before he could undo it. "Leave everything on. I want you to ache to be touched. I want your come staining your trousers and pants."
James moaned but nodded, reluctantly or not, Teddy didn't care.
Teddy sat on the edge of a desk and crossed his arms while James began to rub himself harder. He pressed his back against the wall. "Tell me how good it feels," Teddy instructed. His mouth felt incredibly dry as he spoke.
"So fucking good. Oh god…my cock….god fuck…it aches," James moaned, rubbing and pressing on his cock. "Touch me, please, I want my cock to be—"
"No touching," Teddy sternly cut him off. If Teddy was denying his own pleasure, he would deny James's as well.
"Yes, sir." James whimpered, his eyes closing as he rubbed faster and faster. Teddy could see the sweat from his palm darkening his trousers. "Oh god. Yes." James rubbed himself frantically. His back arched and his head fell roughly against the wall behind him. Teddy's breath felt hot on his lips. He licked them, and they felt dry and cracked under his tongue.
James moaned again, and his whole body shuddered as he came hard, rubbing frantically. He took huge gasping breaths, his face far more red then Teddy had ever seen.
"You may go now. I don't want to see you back in detention again." James mutely picked up his bag, heeding Teddy's instructions. "Walk back to Gryffindor Tower, no stopping anywhere. I want to imagine you with come dripping down your legs."
James looked like he was fighting a great battle about whether or not to speak, but managed to hold his tongue. He gave Teddy one last look then quickly left the room.
Only after James was gone and Teddy could no longer drink in the sight of him did he realize how badly he needed to come. Unzipping his fly, he fisted himself quickly as visions of red swollen lips, dark hair, and come-fuck-me eyes filled his mind. His hand gripped the desk, crumpling the parchment on which James had written 'Professor Lupin' over and over as he came, thinking of the person he had tried and failed to force out of his mind: James.
Guilt, too, would come quickly enough
Teddy woke early the next morning—too early. He felt like absolute crap. His first conscious thought, other than feeling like crap, was that he surely had a hangover, even though there was no reason he should.
"You look like hell," Neville said, sitting down.
"Thank you," Teddy replied, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Ill?" Teddy shook his head. "Hung over?"
"Is everything all right?" Neville asked, putting bacon on his plate.
"Fine. One of those days, I suppose." Teddy didn't feel like talking, and let his tone carry a note of finality.
"Yeah," Neville replied and began eating his breakfast.
This was one of those mornings where Teddy hated coming to the Great Hall, sitting where everyone could see him. He sat low in his chair, brooding over his porridge and coffee. He'd decided it would be best to avoid seeing James this morning, and had purposely come to breakfast early. He checked his watch and swore under his breath. If he didn't hurry and finish, his plan would all go to shit.
Teddy's mind continued to play last night's events for him over and over again; Him, a teacher, seducing a student.
It had been a power play more than anything; the need to show James exactly who was in the position of authority. If the git would have acknowledged for one minute that Teddy was not just Teddy but Professor Lupin, it would have never happened.
Or so he told himself. The guilt still twisted at Teddy. He didn't touch James, hadn't brushed a single finger on his skin. Yet despite that, it had still driven Teddy mad the rest of the night.
After he left the classroom he'd had to wank three more times as the night stretched; once when he first returned to his rooms, and twice when he awoke in the middle of the night. The ache to touch, touch, touch would wake him, harder than a rock and as desperate as a teenager; stroking quickly as he thought of his hands grabbing James's hips, bruising them with his grip, squeezing James's firm arms, brushing the pads of his fingers across the skin of his back and arse; crushing James with his lips, his tongue, practically breaking James in two as he spread him wider and wider to fuck him harder and harder. With each stroke, his guilt would fade, but like a tide it always returned soon after he came.
Teddy cursed again when he heard James and his friends walk into the Great Hall. Bloody hell,. didn't they know it was Saturday and they were supposed to have a lie-in?
Quickly dashing out wasn't an option; James would see him and think he had won. Teddy couldn't make a habit of running every time he saw James, no matter how much he would have liked to at the moment. He breathed deeply through his nose, eating his porridge and looking anywhere but the Gryffindor table.
His eyes fell on Laura Meyers, who was also looking rather pathetic this morning. Teddy instantly felt angry and sad for her all at once. He wanted to help her, he should help her, but she didn't want him to do anything, and he'd given his word. For now, at any rate. He felt powerless, a feeling he despised, and he could feel the weight of being a confidant to someone on his shoulders. Not exactly what he had signed up for.
Teddy couldn't help but snort at the thought of the list of things he had not signed up for by becoming a professor. He thought he knew what to expect and clearly he hadn't.
He glanced over at the Ravenclaw table and spotted Mark Gilbert laughing with his friends. A knot of anger clenched in his stomach, and he took a gulp of coffee and watched him with narrowed eyes.
A loud shout of laughter came from the Gryffindor table, distracting him, and he turned toward it instinctively. It was James, of course, and he didn't want to look at James. But damn it, he couldn't help himself, and for the first time Teddy wondered what James had done to deserve what he'd had done to him last night.
James was young and naive, and Teddy had acted like some adolescent fool. Guilt that Teddy hadn't imagined before slammed into him like the winds from a hurricane. He was the adult here and clearly he hadn't acted like one. At all. He complained about his students, resented them for their whinging, but at the same time he was afraid of them not liking him, or of what people might say if he was too strict. Then when actually faced with his most adult challenges, he'd utterly fucked them up.
He was angry with Laura for being powerless to help her, even though it wasn't her fault. He should be able to help his students, and not just by teaching them some clever wand movements. Then there was James, who certainly deserved some sort of punishment for crossing the line again and again. Teddy hadn't actually punished him at all, or showed that he deserved respect; he'd played into the little game, and done it with relish.
He couldn't do this; he hadn't a clue how to fix the world he was spinning on.
He stood abruptly from the table and quickly walked from the Great Hall, not caring what James would make of his swift departure. If he sat for one more minute tormenting himself, he was going to lose it.
Teddy sat alone in the Potters' kitchen, staring at his untouched cup of tea. He was sure they were home but didn't want to go yelling around upstairs. Harry and Ginny alone together on a weekend morning was not something he wanted to interrupt, and he shuddered just thinking about it.
He heard a creak of someone coming downstairs. Teddy called out, "Morning," because open Floo or not, Harry or Ginny might not be pleased by the surprise of someone sitting at their kitchen table, godson or not.
"Yeah, Harry, it's me."
"Thought I heard the Floo," Harry said, walking into the kitchen.
"Sorry I didn't want to…wake you or Ginny."
"No, it's not too early," Harry said, grabbing a mug from the cupboard. "Plus she's already been gone for an hour or two. Some sort of Quidditch match to cover today, or something."
"You didn't want to go?"
"Nah, didn't get in till almost three. Work's been driving me mad. Coffee?"
"Yeah," Teddy said. "The tea you have is shit. What is it?"
"Something that Ginny paid too much for in some specialty shop. I don't drink it either."
Harry set a steaming blue mug in front of Teddy and leaned against the counter to drink his own. "Are you here for coffee, or has the food gone downhill at Hogwarts and you need some breakfast, too?"
"No, I ate already, thanks." Teddy looked away from Harry, his stomach twisting. "I just felt like being home for a bit, if you don't mind."
"Thought being homesick was a first year sort of problem, or does it affect staff too?" Harry said dryly.
"I was never homesick as a first year," Teddy said.
"Yeah, me either." Harry shrugged. "James wrote home every day for three months. Ginny would cry every time an owl arrived from him."
"Ready to go pick up her baby boy?" Teddy chuckled.
"Convinced Hogwarts had changed and they weren't treating him properly," Harry said, laughing.
"Him and Albus both. Ginny got all the way to the Hogwarts gates before I convinced her Al would be okay."
Teddy laughed harder, imagining Harry with his wand out, threatening to hex Ginny if she didn't go home.
"Harry?" Teddy said, looking into his black coffee.
"I don't think I'm cut out to be a professor." Teddy felt the lump form in his throat as soon as he said it. Admitting he was a failure, and to Harry of all people, only made it worse.
"Did you quit and now you need to come live here, then?" Teddy looked up at Harry sharply, and saw amusement sparkling in Harry's eyes.
"Not funny. I'm being serious."
"Me too," Harry said, pulling out a chair to sit across from Teddy. "I have to know. Makes a difference in how much rent I charge you."
"Wanker," Teddy mumbled under his breath.
"Quitter," Harry replied evenly.
"I didn't quit!" Teddy said, feeling immensely irritated. "You know me better than that."
"I also know you're a brilliant professor." Harry was matter-of-fact in his tone.
"No, you don't. You've never seen me teach."
"You did well for yourself in France and as a private tutor. This teaching job isn't your first broomstick ride, so why do you think you're suddenly pants at it?"
"It's different this time—harder," Teddy said, not sure where to start with the differences. Harry was quiet, waiting for Teddy to continue. After all those years of questioning people, Harry knew when to shut up and knew when to ask the questions. "I can't—I—I don't know how to be in charge. Nobody told me when I signed up for this and wanted it to be my career that being a teacher was a lot more than marking papers and helping students learn a thing or two."
"You knew being a teacher involved being a leader. You know how to do that." Again, Harry sounded absolutely certain.
Teddy shook his head. "It's not the same thing."
"No. People don't push their leaders into a corner, forcing them to fight back and push back. And they can't come and dump their personal problems on you just because they're in your class a few times a week."
"They can't?" Harry arched his brows. "I thought being in charge was nice and all, but it carried a bunch of responsibility shit with it."
"Not in my experience," Teddy huffed.
"When you were Head Boy no one ever pissed you off on purpose? None of those kids you tutored ever told you about their personal life?"
"Not like this. This girl…showed up in my office…wanted the door shut, and next thing I know, she's bawling her eyes out and telling me about this boy taking advantage of her. Didn't want anyone to know, but wanted to tell me because she figured I'd understand. How the hell am I supposed to understand that?" Teddy dropped his head in his hands, wondering how his life had gone to shit.
"Teddy, you don't have to understand the situation or even her, you just have to listen. That's all she wanted; someone who wouldn't judge her and just listen—don't interrupt me. You're going to hear things, and see things that you won't be able to tell anyone else about; not a colleague, not the headmaster, not even the person you share your bed with. It will be one of the hardest things you learn, that sometimes things can only be endured alone."
"I don't know how to do that." Teddy felt a tear stinging his right eye, and he blinked, refusing to give in to it.
"Just give yourself time, it'll come. From what I hear you're a brilliant teacher. You should pick it up quickly."
Teddy looked up at Harry. Harry wasn't the kind to give out a big cup of sympathy, but he was always able to make Teddy feel better. Just looking into his eyes, Teddy could see all of the warmth and affection Harry had for him.
"Who told you I was a brilliant teacher?"
"Lily said you were nice, Albus said you did a good job, but I think it was James who called you brilliant."
Teddy snorted. "James? I didn't think he paid attention at all."
"Head harder than a rock," Harry agreed, nodding.
"But what if it's not what I thought it would be?" Teddy asked softly. "What if…" He shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought it would make me happier. Being back at Hogwarts, teaching like my dad."
"You give it your best, and go from there. If it's not what you want, well, you jump off that bridge when you get to it. With all the proper Charms in place, of course," Harry said sternly, and then smiled.
Teddy tried to grin at the joke and failed. "I don't want you to be disappointed in me."
Harry put a hand on Teddy's shoulder. "The only person whose expectations you need to meet are your own. I'll stand by you no matter what you do. We all will. And your father would say the same." He squeezed Teddy's shoulder and lowered his hand. "Want to go get a drink and some lunch before heading back?"
"Good, you're going back then." Harry stood from his chair "I would've felt like a prat charging you rent."
Teddy smiled."You like me too much to charge me."
"True. I'll be down in a minute," Harry said, and walked out of the kitchen to get dressed.
Allowing time to try and heal his feelings of inadequacy, Teddy sank deep into himself, focusing solely on work when he could, and keeping mostly to himself during his free time. He occasionally had a drink with Neville, but Neville's wife was expecting so he was gone more often than usual.
By the time Christmas holidays rolled around, Teddy was surprised at how tired he was. He had never felt as though he needed a break as much in his entire life.
He spent the requisite amount of time with his grandmother, helping her with her last-minute shopping, and of course there was Christmas Eve with the Potters, which also included the entire Weasley family. Victoire paraded her newest boyfriend in front of Teddy, talking too loudly about his success working for a private wizarding investment firm.
Teddy wasn't sure whether to ignore her or laugh at her, and decided refilling his glass was probably best. Before he could make his way to the bar, James had crept up behind him.
"You guys broke up, what, fours years ago? She knows you're gay, right?"
Teddy smirked. "Maybe she's hoping for a threesome," he replied dryly, "but he's not really my type."
James breathed across the back of Teddy's neck. "What is your type?"
"Quidditch players." Teddy shouldn't have said it, but another family Christmas party felt less ordinary with a little sexual tension.
He left to get his drink, noticing that James stayed rooted to the spot for several more minutes.
By Boxing Day, Teddy was ready to hole up in his flat for the rest of the holiday. He knew eventually his grandmother would insist he come over for a visit, and Harry would most likely drop by, but he wouldn't mind either of them.
He went for a walk late in the morning after he realized all he had in the kitchen was a manky looking apple and a box of stale biscuits. He got some coffee and a bun from the corner shop and opted to go to the bookshop instead of the market. He could always order in when he got hungry, if he still had some Muggle money left.
The rest of his day was blissfully quiet, and he mostly spent it sleeping. He eventually sat in front of the fire, reading through one of his new books. He wasn't sure how long he'd been at it when someone knocked on the door.
Teddy put his book down and got up to answer the door. He looked at his watch and noticed it was already half seven. His stomach growled, reminding him it had been quite some time since he had last eaten.
Teddy looked through the peephole and saw the back of a head full of dark messy hair; Harry had shown up sooner than he'd expected. He swung open the door and his eyes widened in surprise while his heart thumped loudly in his chest. "Bugger."
"Don't give me that shit. Mum sent me," James said defensively.
Teddy felt himself prickle with the accusation. "I didn't give you anything."
"Sure." James rolled his eyes, pushing past Teddy. He carried a large picnic hamper in his arms. Teddy bit off the comment he was going to say to James for barging in; the sooner he got James out of his flat the better.
He tried a different tactic. "So, what's in the hamper?"
"Food, mostly," James answered. "Mum was worried when you left after Christmas breakfast and didn't show up at all today. 'Poor dear, in that tiny flat all by himself, thinking he's bothering us.'"
Teddy smiled. He couldn't help it, as James's voice had gone up an octave to poorly impersonate Ginny. "I didn't think I was bothering anyone."
"I tried to tell her that but you know how she is once she's decided something." James shrugged. "It was nice to get out of the house though."
Teddy opened the hamper to take a look at the contents. "Family that bad?"
James took Teddy's question as an invitation to whinge in great detail about what had happened all day.
"It started at nine this morning. I got up, had to take a leak, and I was scratching my balls. Lily had about five friends over. I'm hardly awake and I hear squeals as I walk past her room. Nine in the morning, I can't even scratch my own balls in my own house. Albus isn't feeling well so that left me to help mum clean up. Much easier now that I'm of age, but between Albus needing tea and Lily's friends giggling all over the damned house, it was a disaster."
"Orange?" Teddy asked, pulling out a piece of fruit.
"Sure." James reached out to take the orange from his hand, and Teddy felt the warmth from James's fingers touching his, but brushed it off. James's skin always felt warm.
James sat down in the armchair Teddy usually sat in, so Teddy took a seat on the sofa, sandwich in hand.
"Christmas holiday has been crap. I should have stayed at Hogwarts," James said, peeling the orange. "Dad had to leave early this morning, some work emergency. He would have at least been annoyed at all the giggling. And you—"
"What did I do?" Teddy asked, swallowing his food.
"You aren't around."
"So?" Teddy shrugged and took another bite.
"You're always around at Christmas. Playing Quidditch at my grandparents', helping my mum set the table and clean the kitchen, talking with my dad, sitting around with me—you even used to play dolls with Lily! And last year you spent two hours watching her show off all her new clothes, telling her how lovely she looked. Now, all of a sudden you don't give a shit about my family anymore."
"That's not true!"
"Then why are you hiding here?" It sounded more like an accusation than a question.
"I'm not hiding, I'm at my flat," Teddy said between gritted teeth. Why did James have this ability to make him upset so quickly?
"That's fine, you're allowed to be home and do what you want. But you aren't acting like you."
"I'm tired from the term and I need a break." God, that sounded whiny even to his own ears.
"What happened? You always came around when we were home from school. You used to like being with my family—with me," James pointed out.
"That hasn't changed." Teddy brushed what James said aside.
"Yeah? Then why do you treat me like rubbish? You said two words to me yesterday and they were 'thank' and 'you'. It's like we're not even mates anymore." James's cheeks began to flush, a sure sign he was getting angry.
"We are mates," Teddy said as calmly as he could.
"Then treat me like one!"
"Get out of my chair."
"I said 'get out, of my chair'," Teddy repeated through clenched teeth. "You want me to treat you like a friend, then I want you to respect me and my space. That's my chair, I always sit there."
James stood up. "Do you make all your friends get out of your chair or only the ones who wank for you?"
Teddy stood up abruptly. He had no idea what to say; he hadn't expected James would bring that up. "It was a mistake."
"The wanking or the detention?"
"You deserved the detention. You have no respect for me or my position," Teddy said, balling his hands into fists. "I am your professor."
"Not my mate?" James's eyes flashed with fire.
"At Hogwarts I am your professor," Teddy said flatly.
James crossed the space between them, twisting his hands in Teddy's shirt and pulling them close together. "Good," James said, his breath warm on Teddy's face. "That means you aren't my professor now."
Before Teddy could respond, James's mouth was on his, rough, fast, and hard. He pulled back almost as quickly as he had dived for Teddy's mouth.
Both their chests were heaving and James's hands were still twisted in Teddy's shirt, his eyes challenging Teddy, begging him. There was little thought involved for Teddy. He could taste the juice from the orange James had eaten, sweet, tart and tempting in his mouth; perfect.
Teddy leaned forward, bringing their lips together again, and James groaned, kissing Teddy back. The sound of his pleasure was almost as delicious as the taste of the orange.
Teddy walked him backwards while James's tongue smoothly parted Teddy's lips, tracing across Teddy's teeth as if testing each one to see how sharp they were, then back along Teddy's tongue. Teddy welcomed the intrusion, tasting, feeling the smooth flexing muscle of it.
When they reached the edge of Teddy's favourite chair, Teddy pushed James down into it, straddling him as they deepened the kiss.
James's arms were around Teddy's back and neck, keeping their bodies close. Teddy slid his fingers through the wonderful mess that was James's hair, arching James's chin towards him. Their stubbled jaws scraped at one another, and Teddy felt his lips burning from all of their kissing.
James arched his hips, and Teddy could feel his erection, long and hard. Not to be outdone, Teddy pushed back, pressing his into James's stomach.
James pulled at Teddy's jumper and undershirt, sliding it up his torso, and dug his fingers into Teddy's back.
Teddy pulled James's jumper, tugging at it, breaking their kiss to bring it up over his head. Diving back into the kiss, Teddy wasted no time in exploring James's bared torso with his hands.
His skin was warm, almost hot, and he felt the flex of firm biceps, the smooth planes of his chest and stomach. Suddenly it wasn't enough to touch James—he had to taste him.
He pulled free of James's mouth, almost tempted to go back when he saw the swollen lips and tongue darting out, wanting him back.
Teddy pushed James's head back, licking along James's jaw, down his throat, across his Adam's apple, which bobbed with each moan and deep breath. He traced over James's collarbones with his tongue, down between his pecs and over to each nipple in turn. James moaned and thrust his hips, gripping Teddy's shoulders as Teddy sucked hard on his nipple.
After tending to the other, Teddy moved lower, down across his belly, his skin soft over hard muscle, and pushed James's thighs apart to get between them. He licked up the taste of James's heated skin. He tasted better than the orange, and Teddy thought it unfair to the orange tree that James, the pompous arse, could taste so delicious with so little effort.
Teddy pulled at James's jeans, practically ripping open the button and flies. He dropped his hand, keeping it on the outside of James's tented pants, teasing his cock with light touches. The fabric was already wet.
"God, Teddy." James looked down at Teddy, his eyes dark, his skin flush. "What are you going to do?"
Teddy chuckled in the back of his throat. It was clear he could do whatever he wanted to James at this moment. "I'm going to make you come."
"Oh fuck, yes," James said with a huge sigh. "I want you so bad. Want you in me."
"In you?" Teddy raised his brows "Roll you over and thrust in your arse?"
"Not now, James," Teddy said, stroking James's cock, cupping his balls. "I'm going to suck you off."
"No, I thought you'd want to—" James looked worried, like he'd done something wrong.
"No. Not now." Teddy pulled James's cock free from his pants. "Ever had a blow job from a bloke?"
Teddy smiled wolfishly and slowly began to lick his way up the underside of James's prick. He was slow, knowing James would most likely come quickly. He wrapped his lips around the head, slowly lowering his mouth until James's prick hit the back of his throat, and slowly bobbed his head back and forth.
James's smell was thicker between his legs, and it made Teddy's cock ache to come. Teddy began to move his head faster, flick his tongue more, taking every bit of James he could down his throat. James moaned and cried out, thrusting hard up into Teddy's mouth. Moaning Teddy's name, James exploded in his mouth, and Teddy swallowed greedily, swirling his tongue around James' prick.
"Teddy. Oh, fuck, Teddy," James moaned as Teddy raised his head. "I want you again."
"Hush. Bring me off with your hand while you taste your come in my mouth," Teddy said and pulled James to the floor with him, kissing him deeply.
James was already hard again, and he rubbed himself against Teddy's leg while bringing Teddy to completion. Only as he came, hard all over James's hand, did Teddy allow himself to moan James's name. "James, yes. Fuck, I want you so bad," he said, pressing his mouth to James, wanting to taste every last inch of him again.
Teddy woke up with his limbs tangled with James's in his bed. He rolled over to look at the clock and saw it was too damn early to be awake. He looked back over his shoulder at James, who was lying with his back to him. He could see a light spray of freckles across James's shoulders, and he smiled. Even this far into the cold season, James's skin still held remnants of the warm summer sun.
"Whuzzah time?" James mumbled, his head still half in a pillow.
"Early." Teddy's throat felt sore.
James pushed his body back against Teddy's, and Teddy's cock betrayed him by coming to immediate attention. Teddy had told himself that one night wouldn't matter, and now that James was in his bed this morning, he could just as easily convince himself that one morning wouldn't matter either.
"Press your arse to me like that again and you'll be buggered before you know it," Teddy warned.
James moaned with pleasure and pressed his arse to Teddy again. Teddy snaked his hand over James and grabbed James's stiff prick. "I told you, I'll fuck your arse." Teddy didn't know if it was an empty promise or not.
"Make me come again," James said, fully awake now.
"On your back," Teddy ordered.
He set himself between James's legs, rubbing their pricks together. James arched his back into Teddy while Teddy cradled James's arse and began thrusting their bodies together.
James was even better this morning. Not only did he smell like himself but also of Teddy and Teddy's bed and Teddy's come. Some feral instinct in Teddy made him thrust faster at that thought.
"So fucking gorgeous," Teddy purred in James's ear. "In my bed, beneath me while I rub our cocks together."
"Faster," James panted, grasping Teddy's arse.
Their sweaty skin glided across one another, moving together faster.
"Hello? Teddy?" The door to Teddy's flat swung open as someone walked in. "Teddy?"
James froze. "Oh fuck! It's my dad!" he hissed. Teddy clamped his hand over James's mouth.
"I'm here, Harry, just give me just a minute," Teddy calmly called out. He turned his head back to James. "I'm going to finish you, and you're going to be quiet. No moaning, no crying out. Understand me?"
James nodded obediently.
Teddy pushed their bodies together again, cocks sliding past one another at a furious pace. He felt the heat of orgasm as he looked down at James, the cords in his neck standing out, face straining to remain silent.
"That's right, good boy," Teddy purred in his ear. "Be quiet so I can fuck you and your dad won't know."
James thrust frantically and his cock twitched, come spilling out and coating himself and Teddy both. Teddy bit down hard on his own lip as he came, their come mingling on their chests and stomachs.
They both were breathing heavily. Teddy pulled himself from his bed, grabbed his wand and quickly cleaned himself. He threw on a pair of pyjama pants and a t-shirt and walked out of his bedroom.
Harry stood by the table fiddling with the picnic hamper.
"Sorry, had to get some clothes on. Didn't think you wanted to see me starkers this early," Teddy said.
"Yeah, sorry to come by so early," Harry replied. "Ginny said James didn't come home last night. She sent him over here and hasn't seen him since."
"Yeah, he brought by the food. Thank you, by the way," Teddy replied. "He said something about being tired of all the girls in the house and that he might head over to a friend's. He didn't let you know?"
"No. But he could have gone out and forgotten. He's done that before," Harry said, not sounding too worried.
"Don't be too hard on him when he comes home hungover." Teddy smiled, clasping Harry on the shoulder, hoping Harry would leave.
"You should come with me. We can go home and have breakfast. I'm sure James will turn up."
Teddy suddenly spotted James's cloak hanging on the hooks by the door. Shit. "You go ahead, I'll catch up."
Harry looked over his shoulder and must have spotted the cloak. He looked back at Teddy. "Sorry, I'll go, I didn't realize you had someone here." Harry looked somewhere between amusement and embarrassment; it made Teddy feel horrible.
"No, it's okay." Teddy tried to smile but he felt like a liar.
"I'll go." Harry walked quickly to the door. "Come by for lunch or dinner if you have the time."
"Sure thing." Teddy waved and Harry walked out the door.
He was such a shit, lying to Harry like that. He had never lied to Harry before.
He pushed open his bedroom door, intending to tell James to hurry home. James was lying on the bed, sheets still tangled in his legs, come still smeared on his belly and thighs, slowly stroking himself. He looked like a masterpiece of debauchery.
Teddy would have him one more time, then he'd tell him to go home. And that would be the end of it.