That was absolutely BRILLIANT!!! So very much a real life feel to the whole thing, and I've always found those the best fics to read.
I have to tell you though, I'm reading this at work ... and I'm normally pretty good about keeping my composure when I'm reading something I ought not to be reading when I'm here ... but this line got me ...
There's nothing nearby but his wand, though, and he figures he'll just end up shooting a spell up his arse,
I laughed so hard I nearly cried from it! I'm so glad half the staff is out today or I'd have had some difficult explaining to do.