InsaneJournal

FIC: Misplaced Pants (Remus/Sirius)
Title: Misplaced Pants
Author: KateKintail
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not my boys. I wish they were. But I’m not paid for this!
Summary: Remus can’t find his pants. Sirius can’t seem to care.
Word Count: 909
Prompt: misplaced my pants
Kink: frotting, dirty talk
Author Notes: I must give a nod toward the Blibbering Humdingers for the line about house elves doing laundry.

“Fuck.”

Sirius lay on his back on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room, barely able to keep his eyes open, but vaguely aware of his surroundings. “Hmmm? Yes. All right.” He yawned. “I’m game for another if you are.”

“No…” On his knees on the floor, Remus picked up his robes, shook them, and tossed them aside. “I can’t find my fucking pants.”

The corners of Sirius’ mouth twitched, a smile playing there. “You don’t need special pants to fuck, Moony. In fact, they have been known to slow down the process considerably.”

Remus grabbed a cushion off the nearest chair and lobbed it in Sirius’ direction. Instead of hitting him in the face, Sirius caught it and grinned. Then he slid it behind his head, raising him up a little more so he looked like he was some god just basking. “This isn’t funny, Pads. They were my only clean pair and house elves don’t do laundry ‘til the weekend. What am I supposed to do?”

This time, Sirius did grin. Widely. “Oh, I can’t possibly imagine. You’ll be sitting there in front of me during History of Magic class and I’ll know that all that separates your hot arse from me is a few inches of space and a thin black school robe.”

Remus overturned the chair. He managed to use his wand to slow its fall and make it land softly on the floor in front of the fire instead of crash down and wake the whole tower. Everyone in Gryffindor knew he and Sirius had a thing, but possibly not everyone was ready to see the two starkers and sitting where students sat to do their homework every night. “All right. I give up. Would you just tell me where you put them?”

Sirius shook his head. “I didn’t do anything. I swear.”

“You solemnly swear that you’re up to no good. That precedes any innocent schoolboy act. Now you’re going to damn well tell me where they are?”

Sirius turned his head, and it looked like the grin was permanently plastered on his face. A “wouldn’t you like to know” grin. A “love you desperate like this” grin. A “fuck me and I’ll tell you” grin.

So Remus needed to fuck him. And that was what he did.

Remus crawled over and knelt beside the couch. “What’ll it be, Pads? I could take that finger of yours into my mouth, stroke it with my tongue, and suck it. Then I could trail my tongue down your body until it got to your cock. I wouldn’t take it in my mouth right away, of course. I’d lap at your balls, circle the base, tease at the head. Not until it was positively purple and leaking with need would I take it in, all that thick length. I’d bob my head back and forth until you were hitting the back of my throat repeatedly and I was salivating at the taste of you. And then I’d swallow every last drop of come, suck it all out of you until you were dry and spent.” Remus flicked his tongue in demonstration. “Or I could lube you up, get that shaft of yours all slick and shiny. Then I’d climb right on top and do all the work, moving down and up, just enough so you’d feel the thrust but not enough to have you slip out. I’d reach down and tweeze your nipples, pinch them hard just how you like them.” Remus’ hand twitched, as if he were planning to reach out right now and give them a squeeze. “Or I—”

That was all Sirius could stand. He pulled Remus up onto him, wrapping his arms around the man’s body to hold him tight. Remus hung on as well, not wanting to fall off of the narrow little couch or Sirius’ hot, firm body. Remus started to spread his legs, not sure what to expect, but Sirius began grinding himself into Remus’ thigh.

They wriggled a little, with their cocks sometimes rubbing against each other, but mostly with their legs alternating on the couch so that each young man had the other’s leg between two of his own. Their crotches dug into each other’s strong thighs, skin against skin sending tingles and rushes through them both. And those built to undeniable urges, making Remus gasp and Sirius whimper with need. Before Remus could suggest something else, Sirius’ come was spurting against Remus’ leg. Remus quickly followed suit, burying his face against Sirius’ shoulder and neck to stifle a moan of pleasure.

Whole minutes passed as they lay like that, spent and sated. Then Remus pulled back and realized Sirius wouldn’t meet his eyes. Remus narrowed said eyes. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Looking guilty as he continued to look away, Sirius replied, “I don’t actually have any clue where your pants are.”

Following his first instinct, Remus grabbed his wand. “Sirius Black, of all the—”

Remus hadn’t really intended to hex his boyfriend, but Sirius grabbed his wrist, staring at the wand. “I can’t believe I’m telling you of all people this,” he said. “But have you tried an Accio?”

Remus gaped at him, feeling a mixture of stupid, angry, and amused all at once. Then he lowered his wand. “I’ll try that,” he said, now feeling sure that would work. “But first…” He pressed a strong kiss to Sirius’ lips.