Societal niceties dictate that I should claim that I find this letter difficult to write, and that it brings me great regret. However, neither you nor I would purchase that load of cack and tripe. Therefore, I shall take utmost enjoyment in penning this missive.
In a vote taken at quarter past four, Sunday, 9 August, 2009, the Board of Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry found themselves to have no confidence in your abilities as Headmaster. In particular the following concerns were cited:
1. Your failure to properly supervise your staff, thus leading to compromising circumstances for the school such as recently occurred with Professor Marcellus Dolohov-Snape and Miss Branwen Mostyn.
2. Your placement of Professor Luna Lovegood and Professor William Weasley in positions of responsibility such as Head of House, knowing full well they have external positions demanding their time.
3. Your hiring of Professor Regulus Black to teach Muggle Studies (and the less said about that particular catastrophe of judgment the better).
4. The nepotism inherent in your hiring practices. (i.e. Professor Marcellus Dolohov-Snape as a full-time instructor as well as Mr Draco Malfoy to fill temporary positions. The Board will overlook the former employment of Mr Harry Potter at this time as it did not overlap with your current relationship to the best of our knowledge and should it have, we do not wish to know.)
5. The ridiculous amount of staff turnover since you took on the Headmastership. (Even Albus managed to keep staff longer, the Board would like to note in the official record.)
6. Your distinct lack of moral fitness as evidenced by a recent article in the Quibbler (copy attached) regarding your unconventional, unsavoury and most unacceptable living arrangments. The Board would also like to note the thick file currently containing letters from parents expressing discomfort at their children being exposed to such lifestyle choices as you have publicly made. Whilst the Board was willing to turn a blind eye to your so-called marriage to Mr Draco Malfoy, the high profile of your current sexual arrangement with Mr Malfoy and Mr Harry Potter pushes the bounds of propriety. And, of course, there is the question of a rumoured inappropriate sexual relationship with current Board member Mr Lucius Malfoy to consider as well.
7. Whilst the activities both you and Professor Marcellus Dolohov-Snape engaged in during the various Voldemort Wars have been pardoned by the Ministry, a great number of wizards and witches (including Board members and parents of Hogwarts children) continue to have private reservations about the wisdom of advancing Death Eaters within the British wizarding education system.
Given the breadth of these concerns, and the lack of confidence in your abilities to correct them in a satisfactory manner, particularly given your excessive absences from your position as of late, the Board of Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry hereby terminates your employment upon the receipt of this letter. You will clear your belongings from the Headmaster's office at once.
That means immediately, Severus, or I shall send the Aurors after you.
With great pleasure,
Rufus Scrimgeour Chair, Board of Governors Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
cc: all Board of Governors members; Headmaster's file, Hogwarts