The Dungeons

*sings*

Sugar is sweet, the poets say,
And I like sugar quite a lot.
I put it in my tea each day,
The tea I make in this teapot.

Imogen sweeter, if poets knew,
Tomorrow you are invited to tea.
Meet in the greenhouse at half past two,
Or rather four, which didn't rhyme.

Yours Pottily,

Your Slytherin Admirer (No, not your brother, the other one. Lily's coming too.)

From: C. Weasley, Associate Research Wizard, Acting Head of the Dragons and Equines division

To: Madame Fishbein, Director

CC: J. Hoopwhist, Gift Shop Manager

Per your request I have examined the sample minature porcelain dragons for the gift shop. They're a bit fragile but I suppose you've already thought of that. The Norwegian Blue is not bad, actually, but the one that's meant to be a Hungarian Horned is all wrong - the ratio of wingspan to tail length should be about 2:1, which they've gotten all wrong here. It's obvious if you look at it.

Sincerely,

Charlie

Dear Miss Pince,

In the process of reorganizing my bookshelves I discovered these volumes, which I was consulting in the process of writing an article about material culture of human armies, particularly their leadership, in the thirteenth-century Goblin Wars. Since the article ("'We Must Not Live Like Beasts': Civilized Demeanor as a Leadership Strategy in the Campaigns of Ergomattias Lambastian the Lesser, 1211-1215," Annals of British Wizarding Military History 42:1, 1959, p. 192-239.) was published some time ago, I no longer need these books and so return them to the library. I should have done this earlier but for the lack of overdue notices. Do let me know if there are any fines owing.

Sincerely,

Professor Binns

The parcel contains the following books:

J. F. K. Humpumple, Forks: A History

Ergomattias Lambastian the Lesser, Confessions, part twenty-two

Grover X. Nummerville, Glazed Clay Cookware and Tableware in Magical British Estates, Great Houses and Manors vol. 2

Geoffrey William Strongerell-Trevett, Long Before Willow-ware: Long-Distance Trade in Luxury Goods Among the Thirteenth-Century Wizards

Hezepiah Whist, A Catalog of Drinking Vessels in the Collection of the Berlin Magical Museum

Dear Professor Binns,

Thank you for the return of the books. As you may recall from the staff meeting of November 23, 1962, our policy is that staff may keep library books for as long as necessary unless someone else asks for them, in which case the staff member will receive a note by floo. There has been no call for these books since you borrowed them in 1956. We do appreciate your return of them, however.

Sincerely,

Irma Pince
Head Librarian

p.s. If you come by the staff lounge this afternoon, Pomona has a new tea blend for us to try and I promised to bring my old teapot that she says adds something to the fragrance, though it's a perfectly ordinary brown ironware thing if you ask me. But do come and see for yourself.

*A hedgehog arrives on the windowsill of Lily's bedroom at Lake Cottage, with a tiny willow-patterned porcelain cynlinder tied around its neck by a white ribbon. It taps on the window quite insistently until admitted. Once the cylinder is untied from its neck, it searches for crumbs and, if none are found, carefully selects some of Lily's previously worn undergarments on which to curl up and go to sleep. When pressed between Lily's fingers, the cylinder enlarges dramatically and disgorges the following note from one end. The handwriting is inelegant.*

Sunday afternoon, Forbidden Forest, Outskirts

Lovely Lily,

I had a wonderful time. Let's do it again (and again) and as soon as possible. Assuming you want to. Which I think you do. I hope you do. Let me know.

Not via Scorpius, though - just send me an owl or something.

In fact our date is more or less all I've thought about since last night. I'm sorry for the slighty late note. I've been working on persuading animals other than owls (boring and obvious) and Fawkes (not boring but even more obvious) to carry messages for me. It used to be easy, but. Anyway this hedgehog agreed, but he needs to travel hedgehog-style, and I'm not sure I've given him a very good a sense of direction, so this might take a day or two to reach you. When it does, the hedgehog might be hungry and extremely tired, so try to accomodate him. He doesn't bite, and the quills aren't harmful.

Yours zoologically,
A.

Dearest, darlingest Father,

In regards to Grandmummy's message on the Floo, I'm horribly sorry, but I must confess that I borrowed her vases for my room. And I may have chipped one. And neither Pius nor I can figure out how to fix it. Don't hate me forever; I just wanted to put some flowers in them because they're beautiful and Grandmummy wasn't using them at all. And they matched my new coverlet.

Please don't make me tell Grandmummy? I can't afford to replace that sort of pottery on my pocket money.

Much love and with enormous sorrow and contrition,
Your Lily

The funniest thing is that when nothing happens around here, I seem to feel on edge. Things can be calm, normal, and for all intents and purposes, perfectly alright.

But it's like that old vase on the shelf. You know, the 18th century Japanese one on the third shelf in the library. It's had such a checkered past what with the revolution and traveling across asia and europe, then being stolen, and finally ending up in that disgusting old house at 12 Grimmauld Place.

And now it just sits here in our library.

Resting.

Watching.

A piece of pottery waiting for something to happen.

It looks as if it might want to sit closer to the edge. Maybe something exciting will happen if it sits a little closer to the edge.

I can understand how it must feel.

My darling,

If you're going to the shops sometime this week, could you be a dear and pick up some replacement items for me? You see, I seem to have...well, if you could cast your mind back to an incident which took place some years ago when I found myself trapped temporarily in a tea caddy? Unbelievably, it happened again this very morning! Only briefly, I assure you, and I am quite safe, but returning suddenly to my normal state caused just the tiniest bit of a tea caddy and tea cup explosion, and it appears I shall need to start rebuilding my collection over again from scratch.

You might try this Muggle shop. It seems to be appropriately named, at least!

Much love...your Sybill.

I swear to Merlin, if some big evil doesn't explode over London soon, I'm going into early retirement. Early early retirement. Being an Auror is boring. I'm going to become a painter like Mum. A sculptor. A potter. I think I already have a wheel in the attic.

Translated from the Bulgarian

Nono, my Nono,

I know I missed your birthday last week. I'm a horrible brother. Especially since Mama says that Yakiv Fedirovich finally gathered his balls enough to propose. So please feel free to flay me as needed, and consider this as appropriate apology gift? I know how much you enjoy English pottery.

Ron and I will be in Bulgaria next month to see Mama and Papa. If you and Yakiv can come to Sofia for dinner, that would be brilliant. I'd love to give your fiance a proper welcome to the Krum family. I'm planning the interrogation already.

I miss you, big sister.

Much love and many wishes of happiness to you both,
Vitya
________________________
Along with the note is a heavy wooden box stamped Josiah Wedgwood and Sons that contains an antique Wedgewood Portland vase.

A folded parchment is tucked into a huge bouquet of pale pink roses, white gardenias and violets.

Your whole body has
a fullness or a gentleness destined for me.

When I move my hand up
I find in each place a dove
that was seeking me, as
if they had, love, made you of clay
for my own potter's hands.

Your knees, your breasts,
your waist
are missing parts of me like the hollow
of a thirsty earth
from which they broke off
a form,
and together
we are complete like a single river,
like a single grain of sand.

I love you, my Vi.

Dearest Lils,

Be very glad your fathers have not decided to make you 'useful'. I've been working in wizarding storage for weeks now and will die a happy death if I never see another ostracon...

Draco,

Yes, Lily has been to see me; you were entirely correct that she would make her way here at some point this evening. It appears she's terrified that you're angry with her regarding some vases of Narcissa's; hence her skipping dinner at the Cottage. I tried to convince the child that you of all people are quite adept with pottery restoration charms when necessary, but I'm not entirely certain she believed me.

She's gone down to the Slytherin common room to visit Scorpius. I've sent for Imogen to join them as well. Perhaps they'll calm Lily down. She was in a bit of a state. I'll give them an hour together, then collect Lily and bring her home with me. So stop fretting.

Yours,
Severus

A copy of today's Prophet with a headline in an enormous bold typeface reading Master Potter?: Minister's Flawed Budget Plan Cracks Under Pressure. Below the headline is a photograph of a startled Harry leaving the Wizengamot. The article itself is heavily circled in bright red ink. A note is scrawled across the side.

Justin,

Let's discuss tomorrow morning. On my way home now. Want to know who the bloody fuck leaked the prelim. budget figures to these bastards.

H.

Draco, darling,

I know I'm always late. Perhaps it's my own birthday denial. In any case, I do hope these make up for it.

Happiest of happy birthdays! (belatedly)

xxx

Pansy

Note is placed next to a Sèvres porcelain service

Whose ruddy teeth are in the vase I found on my desk?

My office is no one's bleeding potions storage cupboard. Come get them.

-A. Moody

*when unfolded, the note emits a smell of sweet cocoa*

Pomona,


Now, I call that a very thoughtful gift, dear: you remembered what I said about wanting flowers that smelled like baked goods!

I adore begonias, but you have to admit that they often lack much scent. But yours are wonderful. I can't decide if I like the one that smells like chocolate Hobnobs the best, or the one that smells like fresh scones. And the planters you sent them in are charming; the colors remind me of that Maiolica piece I brought home from my trip to Sorrento---the framed tile hanging by my bed.

I'm going to put the planters next to the fireplace, where the scent will fill my rooms. You should come for tea, so you can enjoy them, too.


Minerva

Rather than write each one of you individually--

although we have spells to do that, as you're probably aware every April 1 or so--

we thought we'd make a general announcement: We're fine.

Nobody was hurt.

The only casualty was one mirror and our dishes, but we've been meaning to replace those for ages.

They were just so breakable...( as our evening has proved. )

My dearest petal! Many apologies for my late reply as rehearsals for my latest one-whatever I am man dance recital have been unnecessarily trying. The musician proved recalcitrant and had to be persuaded to play the music as instructed. Really, why is it so difficult to add a few crockery smashes to the melodious sound of the flute? I can already hear the audience gasping with...ah but I get ahead of myself.

I shall of course shower you with teacups. Er, with replacement teacups, with flower patterns which, while fair, cannot compare to your fair fragile beauty.

Your best beloved Dexter

Why do you want me to go a barn exactly? Does this have anything to do with all that crockery?

Thought maybe you'd better know about this. R.

[Enclosed is a stack of leaflets, some folded, some slightly or more than slightly scrunched, and half a dozen posters, clearly torn from whatever they were afixed to. All are headed "POTTER'S GONE POTTY! Save the Wizarding Economy!" and detail a Saturday evening meeting for all proprietors on Diagon and Knockturn Alleys interested in joining a protest against the new budget.]

S.

Made two of these today in Herbology. Not what I was supposed to be doing but, hell, Sprout should be pleased, right? At least it was in the same textbook!

Works a treat. Try it out for me tonight?

S.

[With the note is a miniaturised ceramic vase of warming herb-scented massage cream with a slightly lopsided wax seal]