The Dungeons

At least you let us sleep in this morning. The mail room is still busy sorting, but I've given the first batch of letters to Eddie already and he's working his dear little heart out on them.

( You're going to have to address this in next week's edition, you know. )

My fellow board members, have you seen the article in the Quibbler?? I've already heard complaints from several parents, and I must say that I completely agree with them. The Headmaster of Hogwarts in an open relationship with two other men?? It's absolutely outrageous!! What kind of example is that to set for the children??

Severus Snape has flouted our authority since the day Dumbledore insisted upon appointing him as potions master. His control over his staff, as demonstrated by his own son's conduct, is obviously atrocious. And now he flaunts his alternative lifestyles in our faces when he is supposed to be raising Britain's children to be wholesome, productive members of society! Surely you agree with me that he must be sacked before the new term starts and he does any more damage to those poor, delicate psyches.

Hypatia Roman

Attached is a copy of the Quibbler article, including all four versions of the cover

Hey. ( I'm sorry I missed dinner. )

Dear Rufus,

I'm sorry I missed you at the spring Board meeting, and am writing you to express some concern at the article in this week's issue of the Quibbler, which I assume you've seen.

I must say, it was quite a surprise to pick up the Quibbler and see my old potions professor gone all to pieces with a little boy in his hands. I didn't think it was possible for fatherhood to change a man quite that much. Perhaps I ought to reconsider the plans with the missus.

James L Jangleworthy, Hogwarts Class of 97


What a wonderful article on Harry's new family! I just had to go out and buy all the covers, even though all my co-workers said it was just wasting my money. Not a waste, say I, when those photos adorn my walls! Men with their children are just about the hottest thing I can think of! Even old Snape looks alluring with that adorable child in his arms!

Serena Jones, Hogwarts Class of 01


I demand to know why the editors thought it appropriate to replace the weekly column "Finding the Crumple-Horned Snorkak" with some cack about a family that I've barely heard of and could care less about! The Crumple-Horn is critically endangered, and this column helps to keep the poor beast in the public eye! Harry Potter, famous though he may be, does not need the additional press attention. I demand the return of "Finding the Crumple-Horned Snorkak"! If you find yourselves pressed for space due to some other celebrity that just has to have more press time, I suggest that you cut something less critical, such as "Mora Medlou's Marvelous Motherly Musings".

Newt Scamander, author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them