The Dungeons

To: All Hogwarts staff

Healers and their releases be damned, I have decided to return to my duties. (And for God's sake, yes, I feel fine; no, I do not need anything; and Sybil, do keep those bloody crystals of yours away from me.)

I expect a detailed report on my desk from every last one of you by tomorrow evening regarding your duties and tasks during the last five months as well your upcoming lesson plans. You will include a status updates on your students, particularly any in danger of not receiving passing marks. (No, Lovegood, you may not have an extension, nor may Weasley write your report, so do not even consider offering, William.) Horace, where the hell have you put the ledger and the Board correspondence? I want it back in my office immediately, damn it.

Rubeus, the Thestrals' corral reeks. Fix that. Argus, you will provide me with a list of current ongoing detentions for the remainder of term. Binns, I require full minutes from all recent staff meetings. Minerva, Horace, Celeste, I would like to arrange a meeting at some point in the near future to discuss next year's curricula and whether any subject is due to be restructured.

There will be a Heads of House meeting in my office tomorrow during lunch. I will arrange for the house elves to provide food, if I must.

And whoever has nicked my shortbread tin had better damned well return it now, Marcellus.

Severus O. Snape
Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Order of Merlin, 2nd class

P.S. The elves will be serving pea fritters for lunch at my request. Whoever informs my husband will be sacked.