The Dungeons

By Rita Skeeter

Auror Ron Weasley, recently embroiled in a custody case with Draco Malfoy over his daughter, appears to have snapped entirely. The Prophet has learned from a reliable source that Weasley had a hand in the recent disappearance of Hogwarts Professor and war hero Marcellus Dolohov-Snape. Weasley's London flat, shared with Victor Krum, has remained empty for several days and the elder Weasleys appear to have vacated the Burrow in search of their son. None of those close to Weasley were willing to comment for this story.

If, indeed, Auror Weasley has snapped and held Professor Dolohov-Snape hostage for several weeks, he is undoubtedly a danger to the public safety. Rumor has it that he has drawn his wand on members of his own family, kidnapped additional upstanding Wizarding citizens and even harmed his own daughter in his maniacal moments. An official in the Aurory, who wished to remain unnamed, confirmed that Auror Weasley had not been into work for the past week and that members of the force were on the lookout for him. "We don't think he's in the country," he said, "but members of the public should consider him to be armed and dangerous and report any sighting of him to the Aurors immediately." When asked about the reasons behind Weasley's apparent breakdown, our source stated only that "war does funny things to your head, particularly if you're not flexible to begin with."

The Prophet sincerely hopes that Weasley is swiftly found and brought to justice without any further difficulties. The war is, after all, over, and none of us among the sane and sensible Wizarding population have any desire to see any additional effects.

That was the hardest week of my life.

Oh, right. Hello, Professor. That was the hardest week of my life.

*the sound of a body hitting a chair and a sigh*

Hey, don't hang over the back of your chair. ( It's not polite. )