I enjoyed this: the comedy, the way you developed both Dudley and Millicent beyond the restrictions of their place in canon, and freeing them from the distorting Harry-POV. I also liked the way you led them both to self-acceptance (Dudley especially - it makes sense that Millicent would have a good bit of confidence in herself, even if not in her shopkeeping abilities). And your depiction of people happy - more than happy - with persons whose bodily image is not fashionable, or ideal: that's excellent.