What a wonderful and, as others have said, charming story. You caught me at the beginning with "There's no driveway." And then you kept my attention, kept me skipping along with Hestia until the end.
Special mention has to go to the scene at the table with Petunia interpreting what Vernon means, not what he says, with his "thingummy" and unrecognisable Earth gesture and it all being "fritters" to Hestia. I ended up laughing and nodding so much that I had to read that part aloud to my partner.