Oh, I like this story very much. I first read it two days ago, and it's really stayed with me. I keep finding myself thinking of your excellent versions of Minerva and Viktor; they've become very real to me.
I haven't read The Time Traveler's Wife, but I quite like this premise (and the idea of cleaning up the time sands -- how clever). The whole notion of time travel short-circuits my brain, so I always give up trying to figure out how it might work and instead just go with the flow of atmosphere and developing relationships, which is just what Viktor has to do; it's a nice example of structure merging with theme. The very act of reading and rereading is like jumping through time, back and forth, each new reading showing us more. (I've just reread yet another time while I wrote this feedback, dipping in and out at random, and the story weaves its spell all over again.)
Yet since I'm also one of those people who always plots out the chronologies of stories and feels out-of-step when the dates don't fit, I have to say how impressed I am with how beautifully you've maintained the complicated time-line -- the characters' ages and the dates of the meetings and the careful way every moment circles back to itself, growing deeper and more complex.
I also love the way you maintain the continuity of Minerva's character: she remains essentially herself at six and 69; at 22 and fifty. (And oh, that poignant dancing scene -- how painful would that have been for Minerva, seeing him again and yet knowing she can do nothing to acknowledge him. That Viktor at 17 should see her as just a "disapproving presence in tartan" makes perfect sense, yet. . .ouch.)
Plus, what fun to find that Hooch is their daughter -- it's something that fits so well with the intertwined nature of the magical world, despite the canon complications it would cause. I enjoyed that glimpse of young Mara talking to "Dad."
Your Viktor is just so appealing overall. I'm glad you didn't try to reproduce his accent; that sort of thing often gets in the way of our responses to a character. (But I love the way you acknowledge the existence of the accents[s], in that scene with Min, er, Mineee.)
Everyone builds a life not knowing how long it will last. Great line.
One last comment -- you chose a perfect ending-spot, giving us a touch of hope and a future immediately after that lovely, sad, bittersweet final encounter in the time room, when Viktor at last feels his love. Thus his and Minerva's end is at once their beginning -- just the right circularity for a time-travel story. It breaks my brain in the best possible way /g/.