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Tweak says, "Dancia-wut wuld ur prnts think"

beholder_mod (beholder_mod) wrote in hp_beholder,
@ 2011-04-27 15:13:00

Entry tags:

beholder_2011, eileen prince snape, eileen/sybill, eileen/tobias, femslash, fic, het, sybill trelawney, tobias snape

FIC: "Triptych" for tarteaucitron
Recipient: tarteaucitron / girl_tarte
Author: Kelly Chambliss
Title: Triptych
Rating: R
Pairings: Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape; Eileen Prince/Sybill Trelawney
Word Count: 14,050
Warnings/Content Information (Highlight to View): *one episode of spousal abuse*
Summary: He hadn't married the girl for love, Tobias was the first to admit it.
Author's Notes: tarteaucitron, you said you like stories that "illuminate canon" and that "focus on buried emotions and resentments, frustrated ambitions, or awkward compromises" -- so out of your list of characters, I immediately thought of Eileen and Tobias; I suspect "resentment" and "frustration" pretty much define their lives. I tried to work in the "alternative p.o.v.s," too. I hope the result is something like you had in mind.

Thank you to my excellent beta-readers.

"Triptych"

(Don't forget to return to this post to leave feedback for the author!)

(Post a new comment)

	irena_candy 2011-04-27 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	Beautifully written, but it makes me ache for those three unhappy people. I like the way that you have shown their viewpoints without blaming any of them. Life, sadly, just works out that way sometimes. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:14 am UTC (link)
	Thank you for commenting; the fic is much sadder than I'd initially intended, but the characters just didn't seem to allow for anything else! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	schemingreader 2011-04-27 11:54 pm UTC (link)
	What a bleak story! You were relentless in your description of their disappointment. This is beautiful writing, a very nice job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:16 am UTC (link)
	Thanks for reading; I wanted to give them all a kinder ending, but it just couldn't happen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: On "Triptych" schemingreader 2011-05-30 03:20 am UTC (link)
	I'm glad you didn't pull your punches! It made a better story. (Reply to this) (Parent)

elvis_jedusor
2011-04-28 12:07 am UTC (link)

God this was good.

Otherwise I feel speechless right now.

Loved the narration in Tobias' part, the misunderstandings, how his and especially Eileen's disappointment become palpable and just about everything Sybill; you made her shine. She was all kinds of wonderful.

It's strange--one one level this story is painfully depressing, but then this is one of the rare fics that feel like I've been waiting for them without knowing. I've come to the HP fandom for this!

So I will collapse into bed happy now, all things considered.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:17 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! As a writer, I don't think I could ask for more than being able to depress a reader and make them happy at the same time /g/. (Reply to this) (Parent)

tarteaucitron
2011-04-28 01:18 am UTC (link)

wonderful! wonderful! thank you so much, anon - this is exactly what i wanted to receive.

what an amazing tobias pov you wrote. so immersive, i was completely gripped by it. i have to admit i've never really given much thought to tobias at all, but you've given him real life here - an awful, bleak, cruel life - but something credible and sensitive as well. that seems like quite a feat.

i loved the contrast of the different points of view: it worked brilliantly both in terms of unpeeling the moments and illuminating the truth of half-seen moments. so clever and careful! and the characterization was beautifully done.

and wow, you delivered such a punch at the end there - with sybill's beautiful vision of them as two stooped, grey-haired women (which had me filling up) and then this:

"He'll be happy, I know it. No harm will come to him there, not at Hogwarts."

oh sybill. augh!

thank you, anon, for thinking so carefully about the things i like and for coming up with such a perfect and clever response. i really loved it!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:21 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! I felt a little bad about giving you such a downbeat story for a fest that's mostly about celebration in one way or another. But these characters' lives just couldn't seem to be told any other way. Thank you for the thought-provoking prompt; I love writing things that can fit into canon. And your own story -- wow, fabulous. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: On "Triptych" tarteaucitron 2011-05-30 06:38 am UTC (link)
	if you knew how much i enjoy a downbeat story, you would not be feeling bad at all! this has all of the insight i wanted and none of the cosiness i didn't. really, perfection. (Reply to this) (Parent)

lookfar
2011-04-28 02:59 am UTC (link)

What a fantastic, atmospheric, poignant and well-imagined tale. I hung on every word of this. You kept each character in balance with the rest - not good guys vs. bad guys, but complete human beings struggling and blundering toward completion. Who knows? Maybe Eileen Prince Snape did find happiness with Sybill Trelawny, at least for some time. You gave Tobias Snape a tender beginning and made him a sympathetic character, even as he became an abusive drunk. Every scene is pitch-perfect, and I, of course, especially enjoyed it as the backstory to Severus, that bitter dried up vine of a man with such low expectations for happiness. The final scene is fabulous - ironic and sad.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:26 am UTC (link)
	Thank you for this lovely comment. I've found that when I let characters tell their own stories, even the abusive, hateful ones can make you see them in more nuanced ways. Tobias, for instance, had all sorts of interesting things to tell me when I gave him his head. And I think you're right -- there's no reason Eileen and Sybill couldn't have had some happy moments. (Reply to this) (Parent)

tetleythesecond
2011-04-28 08:46 am UTC (link)

Sybill/Eileen! I'd never have thought that I could be completely sold on, engrossed by, and tearing up for this pairing, but then, I'd never have thought that one could bring them as close to me as this. This really is Beholder at its best -- three minor characters whose canon presence serves merely for laughs (Sybill) or background for a major one, turned into full, three-dimensional characters, explored with insight and understanding, and brought together in a compelling, believable, heart-breaking story.

Your three POVs are amazing; I can virtually hear Tobias, with his simple man's voice and hopes, the good intentions (from his POV) that are clearly there at the beginning, later the disillusionment that life didn't even fulfil his "modest" wishes, and then the obstinacy and the coping by escaping reality in drink and asserting himself with the last power, the last advantage over Eileen that he has – physical force. Eileen, too, rings so true for a woman who has never had reason to believe that life would ever surprise her with any happiness. As for Sybill – wow! I've never seen her written like this. It's such a fine line you walk there, conserving all her esoteric world views and the haughtiness that so often comes when one perceives oneself to be more sensitive than others, also the tendency to spice up her lonely life with the occasional Sherry, but you give her some realism and a sense of her limits ("corrective lenses" *g*) that make her three-dimensional and likeable. Love, love, love the life you've given her – of course she, as someone who seeks like-minded people with similar "gifts" but who has always had difficulties relating to others, would see the appeal in the life of a Commune (I could so see her in an ashram – something Auroville-style, perhaps). And then there's that sucker-punch (in the best possible sense) of an end. The last two lines left me open-mouthed in front of my screen.

Just excuses, that's all they was. Excuses. So that she could cut Tobias out of her life, make him a stranger in his own home. -- Ouch. And so, so plausible, this entire train of thought.

"It's too perfect," she'd said, proving her prescience once again. -- Of course this would seem prescience to Eileen – rather than a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The first time she had really talked with Sybill had been near Christmas of their sixth year at Hogwarts. -- I love the entire Hogwarts backstory you create for them, how they first relate to each other because they're lonely and then slowly develop intimacy, and how gradually they explore their attraction and desires and their own sexuality. Beautiful, and beautifully told!

Hadn't Professor Slughorn, her own Head of House, chosen to deny her his mentorship even though he knew her ability with Potions? -- Damn, yes, that is exactly the thing he would do.

Madam Blastasky -- Poor old Helena is really getting her share of incarnations in the Potterverse. *g*

Sybill didn't think it was tempting fate too much to say that Eileen's love had been the best part of this plane of her existence. [...] She collected delicate china tea cups (for one must have beauty) and knitted herself soft, colourful shawls (for one must make one's world vivid) and took long, soul-cleansing walks. -- Your Sybill's voice is a triumph, and these are just two examples. The bits of esoteric language and thinking, and also the little instances of false modesty that shine through, show her exactly like the woman she is in canon, but you give her depth and show her struggle to find a place for herself, which I love. And I love how you work with her Seeing – sometimes she's spot on (for example when she "Sees" Eileen's unhappiness), sometimes far off the mark, and she never can distinguish one from the other.

Everything would be fine.
Sybill could See it. -- Wow. That hit me hard.

Long story short: a fantastic story!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:29 am UTC (link)
	This comment was such a delight to receive. Thank you very much; it made my day. I'm glad Sybill worked for you. I dislike her so much in canon that I was afraid I would be unfair to her. Poor old Helena is really getting her share of incarnations in the Potterverse. Ha! Of course you'd know her. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	secretsolitaire 2011-04-29 01:56 am UTC (link)
	Wow, this is fantastic. I'm not really interested in any of these characters, but you made them utterly convincing to the point where my heart broke for all of them. Gorgeously done. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:30 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! And thank you even more for the "Editor's Pick" on the Quibbler Report; it had me smiling for an entire day. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	atdelphi 2011-04-29 09:19 pm UTC (link)
	Oh my. This is fantastic. I am in awe of the way you've developed and brought to life each character's voice and point of view, and of the clever way they're contrasted. Perfect characterization, beautiful writing, and oh...just so wonderfully and realistically sad. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:31 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! And thank you, too, for your lovely LJ/DW rec. I'm glad the sadness seemed reasonable and not overdone. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	shyfoxling 2011-04-30 06:53 pm UTC (link)
	Wow. I think my favorite part is Tobias's. I love his northern voice. Too bad Sybill turned out to be wrong about Severus's days at Hogwarts, though :-/ (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:32 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! Tobias wasn't a character I'd thought much about before I started writing, but by the time I finished, he seemed almost real to me. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	synn 2011-04-30 07:24 pm UTC (link)
	What a great read - sad, especially the ending mention of severus -- but beautifully written. I particularly liked Tobias' voice, and the balanced viewpoints. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:34 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! I wanted to build the fic as a believable backstory for Severus, with parents who were flawed but not total monsters. Tobias became quite real to me as I wrote. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	lash_larue 2011-05-01 07:40 pm UTC (link)
	This is actual literature. It doesn't matter a fig if you have ever heard of the characters, except for the ending. Very real, very tragic, very well done indeed. I bow, L (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:35 am UTC (link)
	Aw, shucks, kid, you had me blushing. Thank you! I bow back, Ms. Wonderful-Marge-and-Dolores-Author. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	reynardo 2011-05-03 04:10 am UTC (link)
	I took that home to read, and it was lovely. And bittersweet. And Oh dear - I'm afraid you weren't very kind to Trelawney, but I'm afraid it felt very accurate too! But yes, I can easily see that's how Eileen ended up making what could have been a good marriage - but wasn't. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:36 am UTC (link)
	Thank you for reading and commenting. Sybill has always annoyed me in canon, but I wanted to try to understand her a bit. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	alwaysasnapefan 2011-05-04 09:33 am UTC (link)
	WHOA. I mean. Just, awesome. Everything here made sense, it was easy to sympathize with all three. Really enjoyed this, a lot. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:37 am UTC (link)
	Thank you -- I'm glad all three povs seemed balanced; that's just what I was hoping for. (Reply to this) (Parent)

psyfic
2011-05-11 09:39 pm UTC (link)

This was poignant & real without becoming melodramatic. I enjoyed seeing it from each viewpoint. How sad that none of them seem to find more than momentary happiness & even that, at times, is tainted. Sybill's predictions left me chilled at the thought she might well be seeing what was in store for them after death. Her comments for Severus, to me, felt less like predictions & far more like wishful thinking. Or perhaps a way to soothe Eileen's concerns. I hope they did have some happiness in the coming years, even if it was transitory.

You didn't spare the hardship, futility or pain, and while I might prefer a story with a happier or more hopeful ending, the tale told here is crucial. Even magic can't fix things, predictions are 50/50 at best, and doing all the right things doesn't always yield the desired or expected. Important lessons to be learnt for some, even if harsh. Well done. Well done, indeed.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:40 am UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm glad the sadness of it didn't put you off; I'd planned initially to make the ending a bit more hopeful, but these poor, damaged people just wouldn't allow it. And neither would Severus, really. But I like to think that maybe Eileen and Sybill did manage some good moments together. (Reply to this) (Parent)

therealsnape
2011-05-15 06:23 pm UTC (link)

I initially skipped this because over 10K of Eileen Prince is ... well, let's just say a Snape is allowed to have issues with parents. But I'm so glad I finally clicked on this story.

It's brilliant. The three separate POV's work marvellously. Tobias remains rather unlikeable, yet one sees how, from his point of view, he did fair by the lass. And in a way, he was cheated.

Eileen exudes all the bleakness of those who have given up completely, yet she's strong enough to go on with life despite that. Her small triumph when Severus shows his magic is touching, as are the hopes she once had of a live with Sybill.

And Sybill herself! She stays the fey, breathy, scarvy Sybill we know so well, yet there's so much more to her. The teacups, for one must have beautiful things. Her willingness to go to Eileen when Severus is born, and to go again when she feels she needs her. And that final divination, that is actually happy for a change, and that will come to nothing. No wonder she only Sees the gloomy side of things once she's at Hogwarts.

This was a brilliant read from start to finish!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:42 am UTC (link)
	let's just say a Snape is allowed to have issues with parents Well, if Severus doesn't have issues with his parents, I don't think any child anywhere could /g/. Thanks for giving the story a chance and for your thoughtful comments. I'm particularly glad that Sybill works; you know how much of an un-favorite she is for me, and I was afraid of being unfair to her. (Reply to this) (Parent)

kinky_kneazle
2011-05-20 10:31 am UTC (link)

I've just recced this at my journal and realised I didn't leave a comment here. (I'm hoping that was because my ISP had a fit, which it was doing the week I read this, but it's possible I'm just hopeless!)

This is beautifully done. You've painted all three characters perfectly, with each being a complete and sympathetic character despite the errors they make along the way. Even Sybill has become more than a caricature while still staying recognisable as the woman we know from the books. I also love the world you've created, were homosexuality is an abomination in both worlds and the atmosphere of post-war Britain has been painted easily through the characters and their interactions rather than a lot of descriptors (I think I'm trying to say it's been shown, not told!).

The three POVs works really well and this is just a beautiful story all the way around.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:44 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! -- for both this kind comment and for your LJ rec. I'm so glad all three characters seemed balanced to you. That's just what I was hoping to accomplish, to make each person's world believable and justified to his/her own eyes. (Reply to this) (Parent)

eeyore9990
2011-05-29 08:04 pm UTC (link)

I read this about a week ago and at the time felt completely unable to leave a coherent comment (or even a fitting one!) but since I just rec'd it in my journal, I think it's high time I left something for you, dear author.

So, from my rec:

I haven't left a comment for this one yet because I sat there after reading it and just couldn't come up with the right words. It's so beautifully written, one of those stories that brings you into it so that when you reach the end of the fic, you can't deal with the real world. Like everything real is suddenly unreal. Utterly gorgeous and the author does a magnificent job of looking into the characters and knowing them and then showing them to the reader. God, I want to write like this.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-05-30 03:46 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! What a lovely comment. I was really hoping to make these minor characters come alive, and I'm so glad you think they work. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2011-05-30 10:49 am UTC (link)

I admit it - I needed to know that this is your story to venture into such a long tale about Eileen, Tobias and Sybill ;-)
And I don't regret it, you give them such individual voices (Tobias' dialect was fun to read) and nobody would ever be able to guess that you do not like the character of Sybill, you treat her with as much respect as everybody else.
The last sentences don't contradict this statement ;-), and they are such an unforgettable end ... leaving your reader with such a feeling of pity/regret...
Thanks,
Minervas_Eule

(Reply to this) (Thread)

kelly_chambliss
2011-06-01 04:42 am UTC (link)

Thank you for reading! I don't blame you for waiting; a 14K story is a big commitment if the pairings are not among your favorites.

nobody would ever be able to guess that you do not like the character of Sybill, you treat her with as much respect as everybody else.

This comment pleased me no end; it's just what I was hoping to accomplish. I wanted each part to be balanced -- three people with the full complement of human strengths and weaknesses, flaws and graces. I'm so glad it worked with Sybill, too, because she's the one I found it hardest to be fair to.

Thanks for the feedback. I really enjoyed creating the voices, and it means a lot that you found them distinctive.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

alisanne
2011-06-01 06:46 pm UTC (link)

Wow.
What a beautiful exploration of what could really be canon.
Amazingly, all three points of view were valid. I think this is the most sympathetic I've ever been towards Tobias, and that's saying something.
And Eileen/Sybil! OMG, not anything I would have envisioned but you sold it very well.
*cuddles Severus* Oh how I wish Sybil had been right about his life at Hogwarts. *sigh*
Fabulous job!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	On "Triptych" kelly_chambliss 2011-06-02 01:49 am UTC (link)
	Thank you! I never thought I'd write Sybill (she's one of my least-favorite characters), but I ended up finding her quite interesting. Tobias was fascinating to write, too. Glad you enjoyed it. (Reply to this) (Parent)