I love the idea of Millie - sorry, Millicent! - in the kitchen, and I love even more that she's so cheerful and confident in herself and her sensuality. (I also really like your take on what happened to her during the war; we really don't see enough of people with Muggle connections choosing to prioritize those in canon, so Ginny's reminder that some people would conclude that magic just wasn't worth it is a compelling one.) And Dudley as a TV personality is such an original idea that really, really works. Now, here's hoping they're not blindsided by a Hogwarts letter if any kids come along!