Ohh, this is chilling and wonderful, not-so-Mystery Author.
I love everything about this - the strange place that is Dawlish's mind, the way you have made such an incredibly vivid character from someone who is just a name in canon. Your Alecto, too, with her striking ugliness and her giggle and her incredibly lucid madness (such a difference from demented Bellatrix). And I just say a very large and resounding YES to the entire feel of this piece - the drifting in and out and the uncertainty, and the way your wonderful language paints that so well.