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Kiwi (cranky__crocus) wrote in hp_beholder,

She had wild brown hair, cropped like a boy's, and a jutting chin, and sharp, darting yellow-brown eyes. She wore a brown leather jacket and an odd pair of safety goggles pushed up on her forehead. She was impossibly mature for a first year, taller than me, with breasts and hips like my mum's, and an air of suspicion about her.
One of the best descriptions of Hooch I've ever seen! Well done!

No one had comforted me on my first, unhappy ride northward, and somehow my own loneliness that first day had convinced me that the very moral fiber of the wizarding world was formed through character-strengthening exercises like that one.
This line made me laugh endlessly. I can see a young Minerva thinking something just like this.

"I'm Rolanda," the bigger girl said. She had a low voice and an accent I couldn't quite place. "This is Myrtle. Where are we going?"
Oh, Myrtle! And suddenly it makes sense. Big smile. I am loving your story already.

Rolanda glanced at me with something between Slytherin cunning and Hufflepuff loyalty and declared her preference for Gryffindor with a laugh: "That sounds like me. Foolhardy, my father always says. I toss my fate to the winds."
I am in love with your Rolanda Hooch, so very very much.

Andrew and Frobisher cheered her when she walked into the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, and she replied with a two-fingered salute that set them roaring with laughter. (It also cost Gryffindor ten points, I might add, but I could hardly be upset with her, not with all of Gryffindor cheering.)
Your Hooch is definitely the best Hooch I've ever read, and Minerva's narrative is fantastic. So easy to slip into this story!

I gave her a stern look, but to no avail; I might have been Rolanda's closest friend, but in a competition with lunch, I lost out, every time.
Oh, endless laughter, truer words have seldom been spoken! The way you word simple concepts to offer the most humour possible is incredible!

It was an untenable situation, made worse by the stress of exams.
Sigh; yes, exams do seem to have that effect of exacerbating everything.

Only till you make a name for yourself.
That set of lines made my heart smile. What a touching piece! Love theway you set up Amelia Air Heart and Jocunda Sykes - very clever!

Unfair to play that card, I know, but I have always had a strong Slytherin streak in a crisis.
Well put!

Beautiful end. I loved the Highlands OC and the talk of Amelia Air Heart as a kindred spirit to both Minerva and Rolanda. Simple characterisation, but very effective for all of them; these strong women who don't let their sex be any sort of excuse! Your writing style is wonderful, a real joy to read. The structure was perfect and the pictures were an excellent touch.

Very well done! I have never read a fic like this - the originality of it is astounding and delightful. Very well done!