“I don’t really understand,” Eileen said, “but your eyebrows are moving marvelously.” What a line! Suggestive Sirius, I suppose. Laughter. Excellent way to bring it up. Your Eileen makes me smile.
“I should show you around,” he said seriously. “You can’t be just here when there are so many theres.” Has the faint feel of Dr. Seuss, which I absolutely adore. I love your playful Sirius with his wordplay and expressive features/movement. I don't believe I've ever enjoyed Sirius as much as I am now!
“Well, he could be,” Eileen said. “I wouldn’t be a very good judge of that. I’m not very tall, you see.” I empathise with that issue and experience it all the time with the same question, what with my under-5-foot stature. Laughter. Keen observation! Oh, Sirius, you player!
Your characters are HILARIOUS! The third barkeep and everything! Rags are a very effective tool, it seems. I am so in love with your characters.
Fantastic end. You pulled off the morning-af: Sirius was excellent in his confidence and authenticity; Eileen equally so in her honest, sober vulnerability and ability to expand her mind to new possibilities of herself. Very, very well done! Your settings were fantastic, the settings and scene changes were remarkable and your writing style is some of the most humorous I've read! You also pull off the more tender human emotions as well, which is a fine skill. All round well done!