By gawd, I never in a million years thought I'd be saying that a Snape/Filch fic was sweet, but damned if this isn't. I'm not a big Filch fan in general, but I *loved* him in this. He's the down-to-earth, practical, calm counter to Severus's high-strung, swotty, wounded young teacher.
I loved the opening line, and the framing of the interludes with quotes from the book (which I *totally* believe would be in the Hogwarts Library) was inspired. I loved, too, that something good for Severus came out of Dumbledore's underhanded attempt to make Severus as much a slave to him as he had been to Voldemort. It made the revelation that Filch is the actual head of the Hogwarts household feel like a perfect comeuppance. Severus jumping Filch was funny and hot, and I adore Filch's grateful and graceful acceptance of his marriage and his determination to do right by his new 'bride'.
You write with a lovely dry wittiness. I'd be quoting half of your fic back to you if I repeated all the lines which made me giggle, but I think I broke something (and scared my cats) laughing at this:
'Frowning, Severus rummaged around in his pockets until he found a spare bit of chalk. Then he went to the door, opened it, and drew a line across the threshold. He stepped out into the corridor and drew a wide circle around himself.
“I've got to clean that up, you know,” Filch muttered a tad reproachfully.
Severus gestured to both lines. “To be clear. When we are outside this room, you will stay at least this far from me at all times, and you will call me...”
“Professor Snape, sir.”
“Good.” Severus stepped back inside.
“Poppet,” Filch promptly supplied.'
I'm betting the expression on Severus's face would have been *priceless*!
And this: Case in point. He had not even noticed Filch was gone until the man returned an hour or two later and shoved a plate laden with three distinct yet unidentifiable substances under his nose.
“Dinner,” Filch said cheerfully.
Severus did not look up. He scribbled another note in the margins of Hickingbottom's 1001 Blood Bindings. “That smells atrocious. Did the house-elves get into the cooking sherry again?”
There was a long moment of silence. Then he heard a faint sniff. “Made it myself,” Filch said quietly.
Now Severus did look up, his gaze shifting slowly from Filch to the plate and back again. “You do realise poisoning me is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.”
Filch's jowls configured themselves into something disturbingly like a miffed frown. “That's an hour's work there.”
Severus poked at one of the masses. It...jiggled. “What in the world is it?”
“Mackerel pudding with creamed spinach and tomato soup aspic,” Filch reported. “I got it out of a book. It said it was a 'guaranteed pleaser.'”
“This book didn't happen to be by a Madam Borgia, did it?” My face aches now, and it's all your fault! :-D
Filch's successful soothing of Severus after a rough day, and his perceptive realization that his young spouse wasn't all that familiar with the idea that someone might actually listen to and care about his troubles, made me warm all over. Then to watch Severus settle into the realization (without actually admitting anything) that he's enjoying being cosseted, and that the marriage (and tomato aspic) might not be such a bad thing after all, made me smile. Well done, indeed, and I can't wait to find out who you are so I can go read the rest of what you've written!