Entry tags:

beholder_2010, fic, filius flitwick, rating:nc17, severus snape, slash, snape/flitwick

FIC: "A Small Touch of Luck" for cardigrl
Recipient: cardigrl
Author: r_grayjoy
Title: A Small Touch of Luck
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Severus Snape/Filius Flitwick
Word Count: ~8,800
Warnings: a gratuitous "wand" joke
Summary: After the war, Severus finds himself dealing with excessively apologetic former colleagues, struggling through a difficult recovery from his injuries, and holed up inside Hogwarts in order to avoid the Ministry. Strangely, Filius is somehow making it almost enjoyable.
Author's Notes: cardigrl, it seemed that you really, really wanted to see Severus, and I was happy to deliver. As it turns out, I had even more fun with this pairing than I anticipated. This fic was a joy to write. I hope you get a kick out of it.

My tremendous thanks to everyone who put up with me though every stage of this story, from brainstorming to betaing.

And big thanks and kudos to bethbethbeth for continuing this amazing fest.

***

Severus had been awake for less than forty-eight hours and already he was wishing for a potion, spell, or Beater's bat to the head that would send him back into blissful unconsciousness. The hospital wing was too bright, his throat felt as though it had been scraped raw, and worst of all, Minerva McGonagall was sitting in the chair at his bedside, wringing her hands and apologizing for what must have been the fifth time in half an hour. If only he'd had a wand, Severus might have hexed her lips together in self defense.

"Albus always trusted you," Minerva was saying, "and I should have trusted his judgment if nothing else. Granted, you made that most difficult to do. Still, I would have realized you were on our side the whole time if I'd truly paid attention to your actions this past year. I was a blind fool."

"Minerva." Severus squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, Severus?"

"You weren't meant to know what side I was actually on. Albus and I worked very hard to ensure that no one did."

"But I made things so difficult for you. I tried to burn you to a crisp and cut you to ribbons. And then I threw you out a window."

"As I recall, I threw myself out a window."

"Well, yes, but I left you with little choice. You did cut an impressive figure flying through the night, though, I must say," Minerva said, a hint of humor finally suffusing her tone.

"Good to know that fleeing suits me," Severus replied, but without any real indignation. He liked to think his flying trick actually was rather impressive.

"Nonetheless," Minerva said, "I truly am sorry."

Stifling a groan, Severus said, "Minerva, if you apologize one more time, I may have to toss you out a window."

"Just you try it, Severus Snape."


Unfortunately, Minerva was only the first in a long string of visitors to Severus' bedside, all of them appallingly repentant. Pomona brought him so many plants that the hospital wing looked like a greenhouse. Severus had never realized how many flowers there were that meant "I'm sorry" or "forgive me." Apparently lovers bollixed things up on a shockingly regular basis. Lupin, the wretch, not only had the temerity to show his face, but had actually suggested that, now that the war was in the past, perhaps they could bury the hatchet. The only place Severus wanted to bury any hatchet was in the werewolf's spleen.

Hagrid's weeping was only to be outdone by Hooch's. Naturally Slughorn insisted that he'd known the truth from the beginning but had been wise enough to play along. However, he couldn't look Severus in the eye while he said it. Even Moody came by to mumble out an apology for having given him such a hard time over the years. It seemed that his "Auror instincts" had been a bit rusty.

As if Severus' humiliation wasn't complete enough, Potter arrived to stammer out barely articulate apologies and thanks. When he had the gall to mention Lily, Severus was forced to shout and throw anything within reach, including some purple hyacinths and a rather nice creeping phlox, until the impudent brat ran away with his tail tucked between his legs. Poppy had scolded him thoroughly, saying that he'd set his recovery back by two days, but if it kept Potter from returning, it was well worth it as far as Severus was concerned.

Yet another set of approaching footsteps was echoing though the hospital wing, and Severus decided he'd had absolutely all he could tolerate. Without bothering to look up, he said, "The next person to utter the words 'I'm sorry' within my range of hearing will find themselves hexed inside out so that they have to wear their lungs as a necklace."

"Then it's very fortunate that I'm not here to apologize for anything."

The levity in the slightly squeaky voice took Severus by surprise. Before he could reply, the speaker had bypassed the chair and hopped up to sit on the edge of Severus' bed. "You must be feeling better," Filius remarked. "You're almost back to your usual cantankerous self."

"Almost?" Severus arched an eyebrow. "And here I thought that was one of my more creative threats."

"Oh, it certainly was. Your accompanying scowl just wasn't up to its usual standard. But I'm sure another day or two in here will make it right as rain."

"You've no idea."

The sly smile that stretched across Filius' face suggested that he might have a fairly good notion. "Anyway, it's good to have you -- and your scowl -- back with us."

"For the moment, at any rate. I imagine the Aurors will be arriving to haul me off to Azkaban any day now."

"Oh, I don't think you'll have to worry about that for quite a while still," Filius said.

Severus made a dismissive gesture with one hand. Filius was only trying to put him at ease, and Severus had never been the sort to delude himself. He was well aware that the Ministry was chomping at the bit to send him before the Wizangamot. Minerva, with the support of the rest of the Hogwarts staff, had refused to release him until he was well enough to stand trial. The Ministry had backed down temporarily, but it was only a matter of time before they heard that he was awake and came knocking at the castle's solid oak front doors.

"Although," Filius continued, "being in the clink might seem like a relaxing vacation once you've seen the state of things around here. With the students gone for the summer, you'd think it would be peaceful, but no, not this year. Everyone's working night and day to make sure the castle is in good repair and safe for when the children return, of course. I believe we were all frightened into action when Horace offhandedly pointed out that first-year Hufflepuffs have a way of getting lost and ending up in the most peculiar places."

"As do nosy, delinquent Gryffindors of any year."

Filius chuckled. "Minerva said something along those lines as well, although I believe the term she used was 'adventurous.'"

"She would."

"Meanwhile, there's pandemonium among the house-elves. During the day they're practically falling all over themselves to please us. They're cooking enough food for a small army and it seems like we can't take two steps without tripping over one of the poor fellows. And they're still staying up half the night celebrating the fall of their cruel former masters. The empty butterbeer bottles could fill the Great Hall! Have you ever seen a hungover and sleep-deprived house-elf, Severus? It's not a pretty sight."

Filius continued his animated speaking, requiring relatively little input from Severus in order to move from one topic to another. By the time he began explaining the proper way to make a peach fizz, Severus' head was hurting from the deluge of utterly random cheer. "Filius," he interrupted, "did you actually come here for a reason? If you intend to apologize, then do hurry and get it over with. As you can see, I don't have a wand and therefore can't actually make good on my threat to hex you."

"Dear me! Apologize? Do you think I should? What ever on earth for?"

"For throwing me out a window, perhaps?" Severus suggested.

"As I recall, you threw yourself out a window."

It was nearly impossible to render Severus speechless, but Filius had just succeeded. Severus could only stare at him as though he'd just sprouted tentacles.

Once again, Filius didn't seem to need a response. "The flying that came immediately after was quite impressive, by the way," he said. "When you're up and about, you absolutely must teach me how you did it. It'll be charms-based I think, yes?"

Finding his voice, Severus said, "Yes, although arithmantic equations were required to combine and alter existing spells."

"Ah!" Filius appeared delighted. "I always thought you should have been in Ravenclaw."

"Funny; someone else suggested not too long ago that I should have been Sorted Gryffindor. What, pray tell, is wrong with my own House?" Severus raised an eyebrow, daring Filius to say anything against Slytherin.

"Nothing at all, Severus. Absolutely nothing at all."

* * * * *

The visits from Minerva and the other Hogwarts staff members continued. Thankfully they ceased their maudlin apologies and exorbitant gratitude, but they still looked at Severus with an uncomfortable combination of pity, admiration, and sorrow when they could manage to look at him at all. Filius persisted in dropping by as well. Although Severus disparaged him for his absurd buoyancy, the levity truly was a relief, as Severus suspected Filius was well aware.

Filius' visits to the hospital wing quickly became a daily affair. He'd bring books to keep Severus busy, offer up a game or two of wizard chess, talk about the goings on in the castle, and comment on the relative condition of Severus' scowl. Severus couldn't imagine why said scowl hadn't driven him away yet -- perhaps it really wasn't up to par -- but he wasn't going to ask.

Two weeks after regaining consciousness, Poppy was ready to release Severus from her care. More or less. "You'll need to come in for at least an hour every day for a while," she was telling him, "to do a series of exercises in order to complete your healing."

"Pardon me?" Severus said.

"Don't give me that look, Severus. You've weakened due to having spent six weeks in bed, four of them unconscious."

When Severus opened his mouth to argue, Poppy raised a finger at him and said, "And that horrible snake's venom left damage to your muscles and nerves before I could eliminate it from your body entirely. You'll have weakness, slowed reactions, and loss of dexterity, most likely. Unless you want to stay that way, you'll come in for the exercises."

"And what, precisely, do these exercises entail?"

"We'll be manipulating all of your joints and performing specific motions to test and increase your strength and dexterity. I'll be using targeted healing spells that will speed the process and ensure that the recovery is thorough."

"No," Severus said, crossing his arms, "we won't. I will not submit to being tossed around like a rag doll."

"Really, now," Poppy huffed. "That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?"

"No."

Poppy put her hands on her hips. "You will agree to come in daily for the exercises or I will not release you from my care."

"Then I suppose you'd best tell the house-elves that I'll be taking my meals here for the foreseeable future."


The following day Severus was still stubbornly refusing to change his position on the matter when Filius came to see him. "Good afternoon, Severus," Filius said as he approached Severus' bed. "My, I must say, your scowl is looking fully healed today and then some!"

"Tell that to Poppy," Severus muttered.

"She still doesn't think you're well enough to be set free, hmm? That's a shame."

"Tired of visiting me already, Filius?"

"No, no! It's just that I'd hoped you'd be out of here and able to assist me with something soon."

"Oh… ?" Severus asked, feeling as though he were taking some very obvious bait.

"I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to practice dueling with me regularly. There are still Death Eaters and other sympathizers on the loose, and one never knows when a fast hex will come in handy. It's always a good idea to keep one's skills sharp, at any rate. I'd thought about asking Molly Weasley, but quite frankly, that woman frightens me." Filius twisted his face up in mock horror. "Anyway, you're my first choice. I think you probably have a number of tricks in your arsenal that I lack."

"Let me guess. Poppy approved of this plan?"

"She might have said something about it being good for your recovery."

"Filius," Severus said, giving Filius a look that said he wasn't fooled for a minute, "you should have been Sorted Slytherin."

"Coming from you, Severus, I'll take that as the highest of compliments."

* * * * *

"Stupefy!"

The bolt of red light sped towards Severus, its aim dead on. Severus had an inordinate amount of experience with that particular hex, however, so he was able to get an appropriate Shield Charm up in plenty of time.

"Good reaction!" Filius said, circling to the right. "But that was a predictable hex. So overused in dueling, if you ask me."

"You talk too much." Severus was dismayed when his voice came out a breathless rasp. They'd hardly been at it for any time at all and already Severus was winded. He wasn't about to give up, however. "Reducto!"

Filius leapt out of range of the exploding chunk of stone easily. "Not if it's more distracting to you than it is to me!" His next spell was cast wordlessly and with little warning. Severus manage to twist out of the way of the bolt of green light but just barely.

If Severus had thought Filius would go easy on him because of his handicap, he'd thought wrong. It was only their first meeting, and the moment they'd finished bowing to each other, Filius had started flicking and swishing and sending one curse after another sailing at him. Severus had rebounded from his surprise and started fighting back almost instantly, but Filius was fast wearing him down.

Severus' awkward dodge had left him off balance, and Filius threw another spell without giving him a chance to recover. Unable to avoid the hex without making his stance even more unstable, Severus put up a hasty shield. He'd intended to use that as an opportunity to regain his footing, but realized too late that Filius' spell had been a Backfiring Jinx. The next thing Severus knew, he was flat on his back with the wind knocked out of his lungs and his wand thrown out of his hand.

Sheathing his wand, Filius strode over to Severus. When Severus sat up, Filius patted him on the shoulder. "Better luck next time, old man," he said. Then he offered Severus his hand to help him up.

Severus knocked Filius' hand away with a growl and began hauling himself to his feet.

Filius' laugh rang though the room.

* * * * *

The dueling matches became a daily affair and continued to be frustrating and brief. Poppy had been right about the amount of damage Nagini's venom and six weeks of inactivity had caused. Severus grew tired rapidly, moved without the speed and agility to which he was accustomed, and lacked the dexterity to perform the more intricate wand movements. He also had to resort to pain potions in the evenings to ease his sore muscles. The only positive thing he could say about the whole sorry affair what that at least no one was witness to his humiliation except Filius.

Well, that and the fact that the Ministry had yet to toss him in Azkaban. They were aware that Severus was awake, but Minerva continued to tell them that he wasn't yet fully healed and therefore she refused to release him into their custody. Although MLE didn't like it, they weren't prepared to storm the castle gates to get at him, so Severus remained where he was.

Filius was optimistic that Severus had a chance of winning if he went to trial and that the odds were increasing the longer he stayed at Hogwarts. If rumor could be believed, tales of Severus' heroism and self-sacrifice were spreading like Fiendfyre -- and likely becoming more exaggerated by the telling, Severus imagined. Still, even if public opinion were miraculously in his favor, Severus knew that wouldn't do much to sway the Wizengamot. They would still see him as an infamous Death Eater and Dark Wizard of whom they could make an example.


It was two weeks before Severus detected a noticeable difference in his dueling abilities. Oddly, it seemed as though he had gained a measure of dexterity overnight. When he discovered this, he held back at first, waiting for the right moment. Then, a few minutes into their bout, Severus whirled to avoid the swarm of wasps Filius had sent his way, taking aim as he turned out of the spin. He changed the wasps to a ball of fire and, with a sharp flick of his wand, hurled it back at his opponent.

Filius avoided the fire, but Severus was sure he looked a little singed around the edges. But Severus' triumph was short lived. Without any move to give his intentions away, Filius doused Severus in the eyes with a simple Aguamenti. Before Severus could clear his vision, Filius hit him with god only knew what, and Severus ended up where he usually did at the conclusion of their duels -- flat on his arse.

"You almost had me that time," Filius said as he approached Severus and futilely attempted to smooth his thick, unruly hair.

Severus knew it hadn't been anywhere near that close. "Flatterer," he grumbled as he forced himself to stand without rubbing his sore backside.

"Perhaps a little," Filius said, shooting Severus a wink. "Nonetheless, I do believe you're getting better. What do you say to celebrating with a fairer fight? A game of Wizard Chess? Over tea and biscuits?"

"I say you'd better bring your best chess skills. And Darjeeling."


Severus took a sip of his tea and pondered his next move. He and Filius were into their second game of chess and their second plate of biscuits as well. Filius, it turned out, had very good tea and biscuits. Actually, it seemed that Filius had a number of surprises up his sleeve.

When Severus had walked into Filius' chambers, he'd been momentarily nonplussed. Somehow he'd always imagined Filius to be the sort whose rooms would be a lurid, multi-colored, mismatched eyesore. He'd been dead wrong. The place was done in deep blues and purples and seemed to possess a serene sort of ambiance that made Severus feel strangely at ease.

"Knight to king's bishop six," Severus said and watched the piece gallop to the indicated square. He'd won the first game, so the pieces seemed fairly content to follow his commands.

As he contemplated the board, Filius' fingers tapped against his lips. Deciding on a move, he waved his hand in a graceful arc and said, "Queen to king three."

While Severus considered whether or not he should sacrifice his knight in order to take Filius' bishop, he noticed that Filius propped his elbow on the arm of his chair so that his hand was raised in the air. Filius' fingers flexed over and over in a smooth rhythm. Had Filius always been so dynamic? Severus couldn't recall.

Now that his attention had been drawn to it, Severus couldn't seem to stop noticing Filius' easy gestures and smooth, idle motions. His hands were nearly constantly on the move, weaving in patterns while he thought and emphasizing his words when he spoke. They flowed with an elegant grace that was inexplicably hypnotic.

Severus lost the second chess game.

* * * * *

That was only the first time Severus became aware of Filius' agility. When they dueled the following afternoon, Severus noted the way Filius handled his wand with expert finesse. Then he saw that it wasn't only Filius' hands, but his entire body that moved so deftly. As they fought, Filius spun, dodged, leapt, and circled so smoothly and swiftly that he made it all appear effortless.

The observation made Severus' clumsiness and slow recovery that much more frustrating. At the same time, though, it made him even more determined to regain his skills so that he could be a worthy match for Filius. After these thoughts diverted Severus' attention enough that Filius took him down embarrassingly early in their fight, Severus redoubled his focus.

Therefore it wasn't lack of concentration that caused Severus to get hit with a nasty fire whip spell while dueling with Filius in early August. He simply attempted a maneuver that was still beyond his present capabilities. He moved too slowly, he landed awkwardly, and the searing flame slashed him across the shoulder blade. With a stunned hiss, Severus dropped to his knees.

"Oh, blast!" Filius ran towards Severus. "Are you all right? I didn't mean for that spell to be quite so powerful. I got a bit carried away, I'm afraid."

"It's fine. It's just a small burn. I've endured worse."

"Well, that's certainly an understatement." Filius chuckled. "Still, we should get you to the hospital wing so you can be patched up."

"No!" Severus rose to his feet. "No. I already spent quite enough time in the infirmary." When Filius opened his mouth to protest, Severus lifted his hand to silence him. "Yes, yes, I'll treat the burn. But I have a salve in my own stores that will work just as well if not better than anything Poppy has."

"All right, then. Lead on."

"Lead on? You plan to come with me?"

"Of course. Unless there's someone else you'd prefer to put salve on your burn?"

As much as Severus hated to admit it, Filius had a point. He could probably manage to treat the burn himself, but he'd have a rather difficult and painful time doing it. Sighing, he said, "To my chambers, then."

When they reached the entrance to his rooms, Severus had a moment of unease. Although he and Filius had spent a considerable amount of time together of late, Filius had never so much as set foot in Severus' sitting room. Most likely he wouldn't find it nearly so pleasant as his own. Severus, after all, had never been the sort to put much thought into decorating, and books, parchment, and vials tended to pile up while he wasn't looking.

Realizing how ludicrous his concern was, Severus snorted to himself, spoke the password to open his door, and led Filius inside. "Accio burn salve," he said as he walked across his sitting room. A squat jar slapped into his palm a few seconds later. After handing the jar to Filius, he moved to his sofa -- green; he imagined Filius found it rather predictable -- and sat.

Turning sideways on the sofa, Severus began unfastening the clasps on the front of his robes. He hated undressing in front of anyone, but there was no way around it since Filius needed access to the burn. Once his robes were loosened, he let them drop from his shoulder, exposing the wound and as little else as possible.

Severus felt the sofa dip as Filius knelt behind him. "Any special instructions from the potions expert?" Filius asked.

"It's potent. A little goes a long way. You'll have to use more and rub it in a bit over the worst parts of the burn, though."

"Sounds simple enough," Filius said, cheerful as always. "I'll try to be careful. I've already been the source of enough discomfort I do believe."

The sound of the lid being removed from the jar was followed by the scent of herbs and mint filling the air. There was a pause and then the first touch came. Severus tensed, less because of the sting than the fact that he wasn't accustomed to this sort of intimate contact. As the salve began to take effect, however, he started to relax.

Filius' hand was as sure and light on Severus' back as it was on his wand. The combination of the cooling salve and Filius' steady fingers moving in small circles was soothing, and Severus found himself enjoying the sensation. His muscles loosened, his eyes closed, a quiet sigh escaped his lungs. When the touch disappeared, Severus blinked, feeling as though he were coming out of a trance. Perhaps he was.

"There! All done," Filius said, sounding satisfied. "It's looking better already. This is remarkable stuff. I'll remember to come to you rather than Poppy the next time I have a minor injury."

"Just don't let Poppy find out, or we'll never hear the end of it."

Filius chuckled. "I imagine you're right." He swiftly stood and placed the jar on the nearest table. "Well, I'd best leave you alone to rest and heal up. Will you be in shape for our duel tomorrow?"

"Of course. I should be fully healed by then, and I've fought with far worse injuries anyway. It's truly not an impediment to my regular activities."

"Excellent! Then I'll see you tomorrow."

Severus was disappointed that Filius hadn't suggested a chess game or tea or a chat later in the evening as had become their custom of late, but he didn't betray his thoughts to Filius. It was quite absurd, really. As much as he'd come to enjoy Filius' singular wit and affable manner, Severus would enjoy a quiet night of reading in his own chambers. He could use some time to himself.

"Yes, see you then," Severus said, then rose to show Filius out.

* * * * *

The burn had indeed healed by the following morning, leaving only a patch of tender, pink flesh behind. The fabric of Severus' robes irritated it slightly as he made his way to Minerva's office. Now that his recovery was far enough along, he wanted to speak with her about making himself more useful at Hogwarts. He could assist with the repairs or, better yet, brew potions for the infirmary. The supplies had been depleted during the war, and Severus could likely make far better draughts and salves for far fewer Galleons than anything Poppy could order.

Nearing Minerva's office door, Severus heard voices. Minerva and Filius' voices, he realized. The door was ajar, and Severus stopped outside to listen.

"…really, it's nothing like that," Filius was saying.

"Well, regardless, it's good of you to aid Severus in his recovery."

Severus sucked in a sharp breath as he realized they were talking about him.

"It's nothing at all," Filius said. Severus imagined him waving his hand as he spoke. "I do wish I were doing more to help with the mending of the castle, though."

"Oh, don't worry about that. You do your fair share, and we have the repairs well in hand. I certainly don't hold the time you're spending with Severus against you. I do believe the poor man could use a friend." There was a peculiar emphasis on the word "friend" that came through clearly.

Filius' tone was dry when he replied, "I do believe you're right; he could use a friend."

Minerva snickered. Snickered! "Well, if that's the way you feel about it, I could always duel with him, and Septima plays an excellent chess game…"

"That won't be necessary," Filius said.

Severus had heard quite enough. He turned on his heel and strode away from Minerva's office, fuming. He should have known Filius didn't truly think of him as a friend. No wonder he'd leapt at the opportunity to leave Severus alone the previous night. He'd only been spending time with Severus out of a sense of obligation. And Minerva was encouraging it! "The poor man," indeed! Severus didn't need anyone's pity; didn't want to be anyone's charity case. This was absolutely intolerable.


By the time the knock came at Severus' door he was in high dudgeon. Swinging the door open, he crossed his arms and glared down his nose at Filius.

"Severus!" Filius said. "Is everything all right?"

Severus' voice was icy. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"You didn't come for our duel, so I thought something must be wrong. Is the burn still troubling you?"

"Nothing's wrong at all. I simply thought I'd allow you to make better use of your time today. You could work on patching up the castle. Or take up basket weaving. Or polish your wand, perhaps?"

A mischievous smile stretched Filius' lips. "You don't honestly believe I'd rather spend time polishing my own wand than having a round against yours, do you?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'd be delighted to abuse me thoroughly enough to put me flat on my back for a few days."

Filius' eyebrows knitted together. "Severus, what's gotten into you?"

"I don't know, Filius," Severus bit out. "Maybe I just need a friend."

Filius paled. "My conversation with Minerva," he said. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know why you were in such a rush to leave my chambers yesterday."

"Severus, I… It wasn't my intention to--"

Unaffected by Filius' obvious discomfort, Severus said, "I don't need your pity!" He spat the last word as though it tasted foul.

"Pity?" Filius seemed genuinely confused. "What ever do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Filius. It isn't becoming of a Ravenclaw. I quite clearly heard the two of you making fun of me because I'm so desperately in need of someone to help occupy my time, as odious as the task may be. Well, you can stop humoring me now. I'm not interested in being your good deed."

"Good deed? Oh dear," Filius said. "Is that what you think you heard? Severus, Minerva and I were not making fun of you. She was poking fun at me, and for a different reason entirely."

"Oh really. Enlighten me." A blossom of hope unfolded in Severus' chest, but he stomped it flat. He knew what he'd heard, and Filius wouldn't be able to logic his way out of this one.

"Let me in and I will. Please." Something about the softness with which Filius spoke had Severus holding the door open wider to allow him entrance.

While Severus watched, Filius walked over to the sofa, sat, and motioned for Severus to join him. Curious what possible explanation Filius could have to offer, Severus did as Filius bade. There was a long silence during which Filius didn't seem to know what to do with his hands before he finally said, "Well, I suppose I should just get straight to the point."

"Please do," Severus said with mock congeniality.

"Minerva was teasing me about being your friend because she thinks… Well, she knows… that I've grown quite fond of you. That is to say… my feelings for you go a bit deeper than simple friendship."

"What?" Severus stared at Filius in stunned disbelief and indignation. "Are you honestly trying to tell me that--"

"That I like you less in the Platonic sense and more in the way of Eros? Yes, I'm afraid so." Filius offered Severus a wry smile.

"And you expect me to believe that?" Severus' temper flared. "Have you and Minerva not had enough amusement at my expense?"

Filius sighed. "I see you're going to require concrete evidence. I'd expected as much." He shifted onto his knees beside Severus and reached a hand towards him. Then Filius' fingertips were tracing Severus' cheek, and his clear blue eyes were so very close. "I'll stop if you tell me to." Filius' voice wavered, but Severus couldn't seem to force any words out at all. The blue eyes closed and then soft lips brushed over Severus', their touch fleeting and nearly insubstantial.

For the second time, Filius left Severus utterly at a loss for words with his mental wheels spinning in place ineffectively. Filius drew back and, receiving no response from Severus at all, rose from the sofa. "Well." He gave a nervous, little laugh. "I think that's quite enough revelation for one day. Under the circumstances, I won't anticipate a chess game tonight. We'll duel tomorrow, though. I imagine you'll want to take full advantage of the opportunity to hex my jewels off."

It wasn't until Filius was at the door with his hand on the knob that Severus found his voice again. "Wait!" Filius turned. "Don't leave yet. I. I think I'd like for you to stay a little while."

Filius beamed. "Excellent! A game of Wizard Chess, then? Some tea, perhaps?"

A smile tugged at the corner of Severus' mouth. "Yes. I'll start the tea if you'll set up the board."

* * * * *

Filius seemed content to take things slowly and allow Severus time to adjust to the changes. Severus had the sense that he was being treated like a skittish thestral, but truthfully he appreciated it too much to be insulted. They continued their daily duels and often spent their evenings sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, facing each other, their feet tangling while they talked or read. Casual touches progressed to occasional kisses which in turn led to deeper, more prolonged kissing and caressing.

Severus was aware that Filius was not at all the sort of partner he would have imagined himself to have; he was older, smaller, not conventionally attractive… and yet Severus had been drawn to his intelligence and wit, his charisma and grace, and his accepting nature all the same. He was comfortable in a way that few people were, and comfort was something that had been in short supply throughout most of Severus' life. So Severus did what any true Slytherin would do; he enjoyed the opportunity that had presented itself.

Roughly three weeks passed in this fashion before Filius stunned Severus again. They were in the middle of a rather nice snog on Filius' sofa when Filius abruptly swung his leg over and straddled Severus' lap. He continued trailing kisses down Severus' neck as he reached for the fastenings of Severus' robes and tugged the top clasp open.

Stiffening, Severus reached to stop Filius' hands. Filius sat back to look at Severus, then held his gaze as he said, "I want to do more with you, Severus. You can't tell me you don't want that also." To emphasize his point, he rocked his hips forward to slide his erection over Severus'.

Acutely aroused by the contact and the fact that Filius was as hard as he was, Severus sucked in a sharp breath. Oh, he wanted it. He wouldn't even attempt to deny that. At the same time, though, he didn't want Filius to be disappointed. "I'm not. I don't." Severus collected himself and said with as much dignity as he could muster, "It's simply that I don't have a great deal of practice with these matters."

A sharp bark of laughter escaped Filius. "And what makes you think that I do? It's been so long I've probably forgotten how it goes! But I dare say we'll figure it out." He flashed Severus a wink and then leaned in close once more. "Let me take care of you," he murmured next to Severus' ear.

The suggestion sent a shiver through Severus, and that was all the convincing he required. He closed his eyes and allowed Filius to finish unfastening his robes and slip his hands inside. The warmth of Filius' palms seemed to be everywhere at once; on Severus' shoulders, his chest, his sides, his stomach. Then Filius' lips and tongue were joining in, making their way down Severus' throat and along his collarbone.

When Filius swirled his thumb around one of Severus' nipples while working the other between his teeth, Severus could only arch his back, clutch at Filius' robes, and struggle for air. He wanted to shout or swear or wail, but his lungs seized up. And then, oh, then Filius' hand dipped lower still, sliding over Severus' aching cock and cupping his bollocks through his underpants. Finally Severus' breath left him in a long, low, tortured groan.

There was an appreciative sound from Filius, then the weight of Filius' body disappeared from Severus' lap. Severus blinked his eyes open in time to see Filius flinging his robes onto the nearest armchair and stepping out of his pants. Filius was slender and trim, and nudity only seemed to accentuate the fluid grace of his movements. He was also surprisingly well endowed given his stature. Idly, Severus wondered if it had anything to do with the Goblin blood in his ancestry.

Filius chuckled when he saw where Severus' gaze was fixed, and Severus felt himself flush. But then Filius was prowling towards him again, and Severus lost any thought of embarrassment. He reached for Filius, wanting to touch him, to feel him, to pull him back into his lap, but Filius stopped short. "A moment, Severus," he said before opening Severus' robes wide and helping him wriggle out of his pants.

Then Filius was on top of him once more, hot and vital and fervent. Severus lifted his hands and ran them down Filius' body, marveling at the heat and magic that pulsed beneath his fingertips. Closing his eyes, Filius hummed and leaned into the touch. Encouraged, Severus dropped his hand lower to grasp Filius' cock, carefully rolling the foreskin over the tip and back. Filius let out a strangled little moan as his hips jerked forward, and Severus' own prick throbbed in sympathy.

Extending his arm, Filius gasped out, "Accio lubrication!" A bottle zipped through the air and landed neatly in his grip. Severus wondered what, exactly, Filius intended to do with it, but he wasn't left to ponder the question for long. Filius promptly poured a generous amount of the liquid into his palm and reached for Severus' shaft.

Severus bit his lip and his head fell back as Filius' agile fingers encircled him and began to stroke. He pumped his hips up, pushing himself further into Filius' fist, seeking friction more harder faster. Too soon, however, Filius released Severus, saying, "Not yet. I want more from you than that."

"W-What." Severus cleared his throat. "What do you want?" At this point, if Filius said he wanted him to put on a grass skirt and dance the hula, Severus would have done it just to get that hand back on his cock.

Leaning in very close, Filius whispered, "I want you inside me."

Severus nearly came from the words alone. When he didn't answer, Filius said, "Unless you object? We don't have to--"

"No objection," Severus said with a bit more haste than he intended.

Filius gave a quick and wicked smile, then rose up onto his knees. Before Severus could process what was happening, Filius had lined himself up with Severus and was slowly sliding down, taking Severus into his body bit by bit.

The sensation was overwhelming. It was all Severus could do to squeeze his eyes shut and hold onto Filius' hips, arms shaking from the effort to not shove, thrust, buck, scream. When he'd taken Severus' full length, Filius let out a deep, resonating groan that shook Severus' cock and vibrated through his body. Severus' fingers tightened on Filius flesh. "Don't move or I'll…" he said through clenched teeth. "Just. Don't. Move."

"Shh, Severus, breathe, relax." Filius' fingers smoothed over Severus' face and threaded through his hair.



Only after Severus had taken several deep, calming breaths did Filius began to move, slowly, deliberately. Severus gave a tentative push upward. "Ah, yes, like that," Filius said, and with that encouragement Severus did it again. And again. And soon Filius was holding on to Severus' shoulders and they were rocking together in rhythm and there were throaty sounds being made by one or maybe both of them and Severus' body was tightening all over. It was too hot, too tight, too fast. Severus' climax hit him suddenly, sending spasms through his body as he came hard.

As Severus waited for the world to stop spinning, it occurred to him that he really ought to do something for Filius. However, Filius was a step ahead of him. He took Severus' hand, guided it to his rigid cock, and encouraged him to take it in a firm grip. Severus immediately began a long, quick stroke, and he knew he'd made the right choice when Filius began chanting, "Yes, yes, good, yes…" while thrusting into Severus' fist and grinding down on his still half-hard prick. Filius stiffened, arched his back, and then he was spurting all over Severus' stomach and crying out unabashedly.

Filius collapsed against him, and Severus tangled his fingers in Filius' cotton-soft hair and tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened. A few minutes passed before Filius pulled back. Filius' smile was devilish as he said, "Quite lovely for our first attempt, but I think we can do better." With that, Filius slid off Severus' lap, picked up his wand, and began walking across the room.

"Where do you think you're going?" Severus asked.

"To the bedroom, of course. Are you coming?" A waggle of Filius' eyebrows put a lascivious emphasis on the question.

"Now?"

"Well, not now. Neither of us has been a teenager in a number of years. I imagine there will be some recuperative time required."

Severus allowed an impish smirk to spread across his face. "Maybe not so much as you might think," he said and followed Filius to the bedroom.

* * * * *

Spinning to the left, Severus easily moved out of the path of the bolt of blue light. As he completed the spin, he lifted his arm and sent back a yellow bolt of his own. Filius smoothly ducked beneath it and gave his wand an upward flick.

A tangling vine shot up from the floor and spun itself around Severus' legs before he even knew what was coming and then another jinx was heading his way. A slash of his wand turned the vine to dust, and he dropped and rolled out of the path of the spell. Ending on his knees, he threw his next attack.

In keeping with the herbological theme, Severus had conjured a plant in front of Filius that immediately burst into an enormous cloud of paralytic pollen. Always a quick thinker, Filius managed to hold his breath and leap away from the cloud while giving his wand another wave.

Clattering to his left alerted Severus to the desk that had come to life and was charging at him. He shot to his feet and Disapparated from the spot. Apparition in the midst of a fight was risky; splinching due to inadequate concentration was a common result. However, Severus was hardly lacking in mental discipline.

Severus reappeared behind Filius. The pop of displaced air gave away his location, and Filius whirled in time to shield himself from Severus' hex. "Oh, you are getting better!" Filius grinned. Severus allowed himself a quick smirk before he and Filius resumed circling each other.

Between regular dueling, brewing supplies for Poppy, and engaging in diverse and often vigorous sex, Severus had been recuperating at a remarkable rate. Just under five months after waking up in the hospital wing, Severus was nearly back to top form. The down side was that the Aurors would be coming for him any day. Nonetheless, Severus was determined to be in the best possible condition for them when they did. He'd be damned if they'd be taking a weak, sagging, damaged man into custody.

There was scarcely a move to give Filius' intentions away before a rusty suit of armor came to life and grappled Severus. With Severus restrained, Filius threw a hex, but Severus heaved the armor around and used it to ricochet the orange bolt back at him. While Filius evaded his own rebounding spell, Severus shook off the metal suit.

After that, Severus was quickest on the draw. A powerful jet of flame shot from his wand and rushed towards Filius' head. Filius made an old, scarred cutting board fly up in front of himself to block the fire. It was an effective shield, but Severus had anticipated the move. While Filius' vision was obscured, he threw a Leg-Locker Curse under the board. The heavy board thudded to the floor, Filius' arms flailed, and then Filius toppled over, landing flat on his back.

"Finite," Severus said as he sauntered over to Filius. When Filius sat up, Severus bent down and patted him on the shoulder. "Better luck next time, old man."

"Old man!" Filius said as he accepted Severus' proffered hand and rose to his feet. "Why don't you come to my chambers and we'll see who has a harder time keeping up with whom?"

Naturally, Severus accepted the challenge.


"You're troubled tonight."

It wasn't a question, so Severus didn't answer. He merely sat, propped up against the pillows with his arm around Filius, enjoying the warmth of skin on skin contact while the candles burned low.

"I know what you're thinking," Filius said.

"Oh, do you now?"

"I do. You're thinking that Minerva won't be able to put the Ministry off any longer, and so men in red robes will be taking you away from us any day now."

"You're quite wrong. I was thinking about your troubles with the mixed Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw first year class and ways in which you might get the Hufflepuffs up to speed without holding the Ravenclaws back."

"You're a terrible liar!"

"I'm an excellent liar, I'll have you know."

"In general, I'll grant you that, but I know you, Severus."

"Indeed," Severus conceded.

Softly, Filius asked, "What will you do?"

"…I don't know."

Turning to look at Severus, Filius said, "You can win the trial."

"So you've said before."

"And so I still wholeheartedly believe. At this point all of wizarding Britain knows what you sacrificed during the war. There's a growing movement to have you awarded an Order of Merlin -- spearheaded by Harry Potter!"

"Potter always has been a misguided imbecile with a knack for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong."

Filius raised an eyebrow. "In this case his nose might just save your arse. His good opinion means a great deal these days."

"Not enough, I fear." Severus shook his head. "With Riddle and his top supporters dead, the Wizengamot needs someone to punish. I escaped them the first time around. They're not likely to let it happen again."

"They won't have any choice. There's too much evidence in your favor, and there are too many people on your side. If they even think about sending you to prison they'll be buried in Howlers before they can say 'Azkaban,' and the trial will be delayed a month while everyone waits for their hearing to return."

Severus couldn't stop the tiny smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Are you always so blindly optimistic?"

"Are you always so willfully pessimistic?"

"Yes. It results in fewer disappointments in life."

Knowing Severus well enough to detect that he was needling him, Filius laughed. "Well, if I can't convince you, then I'll just have to distract you for a few hours."

"Hours?" Severus asked. "You are sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"I prefer to think of it as ambitious," Filius said. Then he knelt between Severus' legs, threw the sheet over his head, and spoke no more for some time as his mouth was otherwise engaged.

* * * * *

It was before dawn when Severus slipped out of Filius' rooms and made his way through the castle, wand at the ready. He'd cast a Sleeping Charm on Filius when he rose from the bed to dress, and he was prepared to do the same or similar to anyone who was unlucky enough to be awake at this hour. Fortunately, he encountered no one and was able to make his way out of Hogwarts and off the grounds unimpeded.

A series of long-distance Apparitions left him drained but got him as far as Leeds the first day before he needed to rest. On the second day he made it to Dover, and once there a few Disillusionment and Concealment Charms allowed him to stow away on a boat bound for Dunkirk. Once he was safely on the Continent, the Aurors would have a much harder time tracking or finding him.

The motion of the vessel made him drowsy, but Severus wouldn't sleep. The trip was too short and he couldn't afford to be caught napping. Instead, his thoughts drifted to exactly what the devil had led him to hiding on a Muggle boat on a cold, windy late November evening.

Filius and the others had been right. Severus would have had a fairly decent chance of winning a trial before the Wizengamot if he'd stayed. But a decent chance wasn't a foregone conclusion. There were those who would have been fighting with everything they had to see Severus thrown into the deepest, darkest recesses of Azkaban, and they could have succeeded. Severus had only just gained true freedom for the first time in his life, and he wasn't prepared to give it up. Not for anything. It wasn't worth the risk.

Of course, leaving meant that he'd spend the rest of his life more or less in hiding. No matter where he settled, he'd always have to watch his back, and he'd likely never be able to safely return to wizarding Britain. Well, wizarding Britain didn't precisely hold an abundance of good memories for him, so he supposed that was no great loss. That meant he'd also never be able to see those few people who did seem to have some small affection for him, though.

He'd never be able to see Filius.

He'd never watch Filius' graceful leaps and turns as he dueled. He'd never see Filius' smile light up his eyes or hear his joyous laugh. Nor would he match wits with Filius over a cup of tea at the end of the day. He wouldn't feel Filius' sure fingers on his skin or in his hair. And he'd never again see Filius naked, back arched in ecstasy, ardent and unashamed, taking pleasure in everything Severus had to give him.

Wrapping his cloak more tightly around himself in an attempt to ward off the cold, Severus recast his Disillusionment Charms and waited for the boat to reach its destination.

* * * * *

Severus strode purposefully across the Hogwarts grounds, the wind whipping his hair and blowing his robes out behind him. Scattered students, enjoying a Saturday free of classes outdoors despite the chill, paused in their entertainments to stare open-mouthed as he passed. He paid them no heed but made his way directly to the castle and then inside.

Minerva must have been made aware of his approach. Coming down the staircase as Severus crossed the Entrance Hall, she said, "Severus! You're back!"

The corner of Severus' mouth twitched up. "Astute as always, Minerva," he replied. He didn't stop to speak with her, but swept past, climbed the stairs, and turned left.

Minerva called after him, and when he didn't answer she began to follow. As Severus proceeded, he saw Poppy and Pomona join Minerva. The three witches exchanged puzzled looks and murmurs, but none made a move to stop him.

Just as Severus reached Ravenclaw Tower, Filius turned a corner towards him. They spotted each other in the same instant, and both stopped in their tracks.

Filius' mouth worked for a few seconds before he managed to squeak, "Severus!" Then he rushed forward, stopping just before Severus. "I expected to never see you again."

A small but genuine smile formed on Severus' lips. "What happened to your blind optimism?"

"I think you might have taken it with you." Filius returned Severus' smile with one of his own as moisture welled up in his eyes.

"I might have, at that. It seems I've brought it back."

"There'll be a trial now. It's likely to be harrowing. And while you have a good chance of winning, it isn't a certainty."

Filius appeared to be stating the obvious, but Severus heard the question within the words. Holding Filius' gaze, Severus said, "It's worth the risk."

Tears spilled over Filius' cheeks, and that was when Severus knew without any doubt that no matter what was to come he'd made the right decision.

This time Severus was the one to move forward. He bent down and reached for Filius, and Filius rose up on his toes to meet him. As they wrapped their arms tightly around each other, Severus buried his face in Filius' hair and whispered, "I made it as far as Luxembourg, you know. I really am rubbish at running away from battles."

Giving Severus a watery chuckle, Filius said, "Better luck next time, old man."

Severus laughed and hugged Filius tighter although he wasn't entirely sure the line was appropriate this time. After all, he didn't feel as though he'd lost anything. Luck had already been on his side, even if he hadn't recognized it right away. Perhaps there was a little more in store for him yet.