First of all, this starts out very strong when it gives Eileen character motivations off the bat, talking about how in the Muggle world she's free from "her parents and their meddling." And then the immediate mention of a whistle that could either mean an accident...or a shift change, and she has to "pretend to care" about Tobias. I love the detached picture we usually get of Eileen, and how she worries she won't care enough here. :-D Oh, this is good stuff already.
Her reputation saves her as the women speculate. This feels so real already. Eileen's world is a world we never get to expressly see in Harry Potter, but this feels like part of it.
Ooo. I don't think I've ever seen an Eileen with desires for the softer flesh of a woman. That is really something.
It couldn't have happened, because her wishes never came true. Holy cow. I love you. This sentence, just....
HAHAHA and her first spoken sentences are priceless as well. You killed me with "suckle on a nice pair" and then describing them...oh man!
eventually accepted a ride to the hospital; There were too many witnesses for her to disconnect the breathing tube. I'm totally loving this inner picture we're getting. I'm a psych major and this is just...love. And then she turns off the machine. *rubs hands together*
"able to slip away from the neighbor's watchful eyes." Eileen frowned in concentration, however, she could not be certain it was her son. This is absolutely wonderful. I just love her very real detachment. Not glorified, not demonized, just...described as...being...there.
Now, as for Eileen/Irma, this is going to be a little strange for me, since I was one who always believed in them being the same person. But I'm charging ahead to see how this goes. And I do like the comment about them being former dorm mates and friends.
Eileen's voice shook just enough to play on the old man's sympathetic nature. How could I not love her? Her meeting with Severus in front of Dumbledore is delicious. Her playing up the sympathy, and Severus not being able to tell she is doing so and growing concerned at the display.
The whole section about Severus not understanding her phobia and Eileen explaining about the motorbike and Irma expanding on that to, well, inappropriate-before-a-funeral levels was so wonderful I was tempted to copy and paste it all.
The day she received an owl with a rosemary plant for her kitchen, she decided Irma was serious.
"What was that? You used the word please? And didn't call me a dunderhead?" Oh, this is perfect. Haha, one of his favorite insults came from his mother?
I love how rude both of these women are, or, well, unconcerned with how what they say sounds when they are away from others. And I like all the talk about breasts. Yes.
"Just garters and stockings. I like a breeze on my bits." OH MAN. YES. HAHAHA. Oh god. This is...you know, one of my favorite lines from all of the books is Arnie at the World Cup saying, "I like a healthy breeze round my privates." This just...is perfect. At the same time, it's much hotter, considering context.
He blanched and pulled the door closed, making his mother laugh. I am so in love with this Eileen. If Severus is still in school, I don't think he can cast a Silencing Spell, poor kid (although since Eileen is a witch, I'm not sure).
"On the whole, forbidden fruit tastes the best." Ha. Indeed.
Well, this was wonderful. Slightly shocking at parts, in the intended way, psychological, funny, clever, and very hot. I find Severus and Eileen's relationship very interesting here. A lot of times you see the relationship as one of this kind of unspoken barrier and that that provides any awkwardness, but in this case the awkwardness comes from no barriers at all. Severus sees them, and Eileen, so long deprived of having what she really wants, merely laughs at the fact. Very well done. You also get an idea of her relationship with Tobias even though he never speaks, and I like the background given about how they got together. The rebellious urge seems to have carried over into Severus. I liked her dialogue and thought processes because they were a stark contrast to the image she strove to put forward to the world when she had to.