How sweet and extremely inventive! I love the clay-model illustrations (beautifully photographed, too) - and I think they also give me a fair idea who you are, mystery author ;-)
There were so many funny lines, but these are some of my favourites:
"Sibyll says horse cock is too big for her, so I thought I'd give her a little present."
and then...
Hagrid, muttering into his tankard about sizist little hussies who'd never heard of lube Wahahaha!
"Either way, how auspicious. Come see this, darling." I can just hear Sluggy saying that!
"Thanks for the explaining my non-existent history vith bridesmaids." One might have thought he's have worked that out already... but then again Viktor isn't always the brightest bulb in the box.
Firenze caught the bouquet and nibbled it all evening. :-)
"when Lockhart tried these mushrooms, his miniature had sex with itself." So Very True!
"Ah, I am to be left in my sad quest to find my Cinderella, and must now impale myself on all the cocks in the land to see who fits best." Bwahahahaha! And 'private pumpkin, indeed' ;-)
It's great to see such an original piece of work here, and I do think that Slughorn and Hooch make an oddly lovely couple.