I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the thoughtful comment!
I agree that male inability to communicate about emotions is often (I think wrongly) portrayed as a mysterious and sexy, as opposed to problematic. The lack of communication is particularly tragic for Remus and Moody, I think, because in both cases it is central to their personal tragedies. If Moody was more open with his friends then they would have known that Crouch Jnr wasn't him and thus he wouldn't have spent a year locked in a trunk. If Remus was more open with his friends then they wouldn't have mistaken him for a traitor and ended up with James dead and Sirius in prison. Your comment that it's just a central quality for these two characters, driving them forward, side by side, even as it keeps them apart captures their dynamic really nicely :-)