Hotel Hell Network

[Private to Mike Lane]

Are you doing any better with everything?

[Private to Hansel]

Would you like anything from the basement area? I'm down in the library right now grabbing some things to read to keep my thoughts pre-occupied, and I figured I'd ask.

[Private to Quinn Fabray]

Sorry I didn't get back to you on what was going on with me. I had a panic attack thinking about it. It's a little hard to explain without me sounding like an idiot though.

Anyone else feeling that this place is covered in bad juju? It seems as bad as Candyland.

[Adam]

Do you think our roommate's people might have done something to us? Or me? I feel weird.

Hi there. I'm Lily Luna, your new roommate.

I'm betting that my Dad already sent a message to you about messing with his little girl?

[Private to Ginny]
LilyLu got moved into a room with two boys.

[Private to Mike Lane and Adam]
Hello.  You two are currently assigned to a room with my daughter, Lily.  I believe we need to have words.

[Private to LilyLu]
LilyLu, you got moved to a new room! Are you okay? You don't have to stay there.

[Private to Sirius]
I see you and Al have landed together.  I have to say, I'm pleased.  I think you two will be brilliant together.

[Private to Al]
Hey, Al.  Saw you got moved to a room with Sirius.  I've got to say, I'm glad you two are hitting it off so well.  I think you'll be good for each other.  Mind if I ask you two favors? Seeing as I'm your favorite father and all, I thought you might oblige. 

[Private to Severus]
Remind me that threatening my daughter's new male roommates because the Ministry clearly can't do shit about it here is a bad idea.

[Private to Lily & James]
Congrats again! Please don't have a kid How are you two enjoying married life?

This place is on the bad crack, man.

I'll take it.

I really wish someone would have asked before booking me for this gig.

I have no idea what to make of all of this. Someone mind explaining to me what's going on?