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Tweak says, "What's up...Doc?"

Mssr Padfoot (brightstarblack) wrote in hotelhelllogs,
@ 2013-02-10 11:35:00

Entry tags:

harry potter, sirius black

Who: Sirius Black and Harry Potter
Where: Sirius's room, 205
When: After this thread.
Warnings: Angsty Sirius is angsty? Otherwise mentions of death, etc.
Summary: After meeting with his parents, Harry comes to talk to Sirius who is less than pleased with the way things are going to turn out.
Status: Closed/Complete
Ghostly Encounter: Opt-out

Sirius had been utterly restless, unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time if even that. It'd been that way for months now. The looming threat of Voldemort's army had hung so heavily over all of them that sleep was something that Sirius didn't often come by. Around four though he fell into a nice, deep sleep though that was plagued by nightmares. By the time he awoke, he felt as if he'd ran a marathon, sweat still fresh and beading on his forehead, breathing labored underneath the covers.

It took him five minutes to actually calm himself enough to push the covers back, and he sat there on the edge of the bed for another three before finally getting up to go take a shower. By the time he got back into his room, the bed had been made, and hopefully the sheets had been changed. Sirius wasn't counting on it though, not with the way his luck ran. He knew better than to hope for anything.

His stomach knotted in hunger, and it took him a moment to think about when he'd ate last. It'd been, well, at least a day since his last meal. Glancing up at the clock in his room, Sirius noted the time before deciding he had more than enough time to grab himself a bite before Harry got there.

It was mind boggling to think that Harry, small Harry whom he'd just seen flying on a broomstick, and crawling around on James and Lily's floor, was a grown man now. Sirius tried not to think on things too much as he went to the nearest kitchen in search of food. There was plenty of food to pick from it seemed, but Sirius grabbed some toast, some butter and a jar of blackberry jam. Sitting down at one of the tables Sirius ate rather quickly, then cleaned up his mess before going back to his room.

Sitting down on one of the chairs, he rested his forearms on his thighs, hands clasped in between his knees and he stared off into space, his thoughts drifting from one thing to another. It was only when he heard a knock at the door that he looked up, snapped away from his thoughts of what-ifs and a future that would never happen. Pushing himself up out of his chair, Sirius moved over to the door, pulling it open. After staring at Harry for a moment, Sirius shook his head, a lopsided grin pulling up one corner of his mouth. "Come on in, Harry. Merlin," He paused for a moment as he took a step back, allowing room for Harry to enter, "I still don't know what to think, and there's so much I want to ask." Taking in a deep breath, Sirius reached up to brush his hair back from his face. "But first, how're you doing?"

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gryffatheart
2013-02-18 06:53 am UTC (link)

Harry hadn't quite been as emotionally prepared for meeting his parents as he'd thought but at least he knew Sirius when he was older. It wasn't a huge shock. He just hoped he had enough in him left to have some tact in telling Sirius about his future. Telling him about Professor Snape would definitely get saved for last. Harry just wanted to focus on being able to see him again, hopefully far healthier than he'd been after thirteen years in prison. As soon as he said goodbye to his parents, Harry went right to the bathroom and washed his face. He didn't want to look like a total mess and worry Sirius over nothing. With that taken care of, Harry checked his appearance in the mirror and tried unsuccessfully to tame his hair. It would never get better, no matter how many years passed. He'd have to thank his father for that one later.

He took a deep breath and then left his room, heading for Sirius'. His godfather was on the second floor, room 205 if he remembered correctly and a quick check on the network of their conversation proved his memory correct. With a small smile, he found the staircase and walked up, taking the extra few minutes to just clear his head and prepare himself for a young Sirius Black. He wondered just how different the man would be as a teenager. Harry came to the door and just stood there for a few long moments. You can do this. He's your godfather. This is a good thing, having more time with all of them, he reminded himself. Another deep breath, and then he knocked on the door.

It opened a moment later and Harry's breath caught for a moment as he waited for Sirius to react. The lopsided grin was all he needed though and Harry grinned wide, thrilled and relieved as he stepped into Sirius' room. "Nice place," he commented, still smiling. "I know exactly how you feel. You're...well, you're really young just like Mum and Dad are." Harry smiled sheepishly . "I'm ah. Doing okay I guess? As well as can be expected. How're you settling in?" He didn't see anyone else's things there which meant Sirius had his room to himself for now and that was probably much appreciated.

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brightstarblack
2013-02-19 04:15 pm UTC (link)

"I could honestly do without all the purple myself." Sirius gave Harry a look before chuckling as he shut the door. That was the question of the hour wasn't it? Sirius was doing alright in the grand scheme of things, for now at least, but he had a feeling that would change with this simple meeting.

Of course he had no real basis on why, other than just a gut feeling. Sirius had learned over the years that his instincts were typically right. Well; a good portion of the time anyway.

"I'm settling in alright. It's better than where I've been sleeping so I count that as a plus." Sirius had been dodging Death Eaters for several weeks now, or maybe it had just been days. Everything had started to blend together for the oldest Black son that he hadn't really been able differentiate one day from the other.

"Sit, please. Make yourself comfortable." Sirius motioned to one of the chairs in the room before taking a seat in one himself. He settled back into the plush cushion, one leg coming up as he rested his ankle on his knee. "How did things go with your mum and dad?" A dark brow rose over at Harry though Sirius clearly wore a face of concern that was both for Harry and James. He couldn't help but worry over them. Things hadn't been so great when he'd been brought here. There was no end in sight for the war and well, they'd all been in danger.

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gryffatheart
2013-02-20 04:13 am UTC (link)

Harry chuckled right along with him. "I don't blame you there at all. I wonder if we can't just charm a different color onto the walls," he mused out loud, but he didn't draw his wand to test his theory. Instead, he just went to take a seat.

"That's right, Voldemort is chasing after you all when you come from. It must be nice then, having your own room and not having to be on the run. The lack of Voldemort being here is a big plus as well." Harry didn't want to think what would happen if the Crown Plaza Hotel decided to bring Voldemort in. That really wasn't something that would end well so it was best left alone and forgotten.

The conversation turned to his parents and Harry smiled. "It went really well, I think, or as well as it could have. I showed the pictures of my kids, told them a bit about how I grew up." Harry paused there, shifting slightly in his seat because he had to tell someone else now that they died. "Halloween, that's when it all ends for a decade. You're not their Secret Keeper, so you know. Peter betrays them. He was a Death Eater. Mum and Dad died protecting me and when Voldemort tried to kill me, the curse rebounded and destroyed his body." He was looking down at his lap, unable to really bring himself to look at Sirius. "I don't meet you and Remus until Third Year. It's- All of that, it's why I'm so glad to be here."

Harry finally lifted his gaze to look at Sirius. "Please don't leave. I don't want any of you to leave. I don't want to leave. I want to get to know all of you, to enjoy the time we have together because I didn't have this growing up. I grew up with Mum's sister." From how miserably he said it, it sounded unpleasant even if Sirius didn't know how bad Petunia had been.

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brightstarblack
2013-02-21 01:13 pm UTC (link)

The thought of using a charm had crossed his mind. Sirius was decent with charm work, he might try it out at some point and time though he doubted that it would stick really. The hotel seemed alive, thinking, feeling much like Hogwarts had but it was a different type of magic.

Sirius leaned his head back against the back of the chair, eyes carefully considering Harry. He looked much like Sirius imagined James would look once he got older. Nice, strong features, hair still a mess. It was enough to bring a small half-smile to Sirius's lips. "That's good then." He gave a small nod of his head, the smile slowly melting off of his face at the news that Harry brought to him. He could feel the blood rising to his face at the news that Peter, Peter of all people betrayed them. Sirius would have never, not in a million years thought that would happen when he convinced James and Lily to use him instead.

Jaw setting, Sirius clenched his teeth hard, biting his tongue for the time being in order to let Harry finish. It took him a moment to process everything, to think it over and bloody hell he was furious, sad, and a feeling of guilt settled in his gut at everything. Shaking his head, he licked his lips before he spoke. "It's about a week before Halloween where I'm from." His voice was quiet, strained with the anger that he felt and his whole body felt like it was vibrating. "I'd just convinced your mum and dad to use Peter instead of me. I thought I could be more useful as a decoy instead, and they would never expect it to be Peter. That little rat bastard." He slammed his fist down on the arm of the chair, letting out a disgusted sound.

"I'm sorry, Harry." It wasn't much, but it was what Sirius could offer him as he looked over at him. His features had softened, concern and worry clearly evident upon them. "So why didn't I get you, then? I am your godfather after all, and from what your mum had said about Petunia she had disowned her basically." Lily's parents had passed, so had James's and it would only make sense for their son to be raised by Sirius rather than some muggle who had been a right bitch to both of his parents.

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gryffatheart
2013-02-22 03:55 am UTC (link)

Harry had never known Sirius to be a particularly angry person. He got passionate, sure, but seeing Sirius turn red at the mention of Peter hadn't been something he expected. He winced, wishing he could take back everything he'd said so that he could start over and use some tact. It had never been his strong suit and he wished Hermione was there to help explain things a bit more delicately. Merlin, why was he so rubbish at this? He just wanted to ignore the past and focus on having this opportunity with his family.

"No, I- I'm sorry, Sirius. I really am. I wasn't thinking," Harry rushed to apologize, reaching out to take his godfather's hand. "You did what you thought was best, what you thought would keep them safe. I don't blame you at all for what happened, Sirius. No one does. And Peter...he ended up being useful thanks to a Life Debt. It wasn't perfect and it wasn't easy, but everything turned out well all things considered. The loss of life was...devastating." His eyes got this kind of far away look to it when he talked about the people they'd lost to the war. "The Wizarding World, they're safe now though. I know it's cold comfort. Most of them romanticize what happened, but those of us that fought, that survived? We remember and we honor everyone who passed."

Harry swallowed, delaying having to explain why Sirius didn't get him. "You went after Peter. He blew up a street, cut off his pinky, and transformed into a rat to escape. You went to prison for it. We didn't meet until my Third Year, when you escaped. Turns out, Peter ended up as my best friend's pet, Scabbers." There was a weak chuckle accompanied with that. "But Mum, she died to protect me, which left me with protection that could only be sustained by living with a blood relative. Aunt Petunia was the only one."

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brightstarblack
2013-02-26 06:39 pm UTC (link)

Gray eyes flicked down to Harry's hand on his, and Sirius took in a deep breath. He wasn't mad at Harry for telling him the way that he had, not in the slightest, but he was mad at himself. Had he been their Secret-Keeper things would've been better. Guilt gnawed at his insides and as his gaze returned to Harry's face he spoke softly. "Don't be sorry. I don't think there's any reason for you to be sorry." While they might nit have blamed him for what had happened, Sirius just kept thinking that maybe things could've been different.

Prison in the wizarding world only meant one thing; Azkaban. The very idea chilled Sirius to his core, his stomach dropping as he tried to wrap his brain around things. It made sense, in a way, of course. His entire family were Voldemort supporters. No one had known about the switch in Secret-Keepers save him, James, Lily and Peter. Everyone else had believed that he'd been that, it would've been ridiculous for them to suspect anyone else.

He mulled over things for a moment, his thoughts a jumbled mess. "I'm glad to know that things came out alright in the end." It still didn't ease the aching in his heart, but he was glad that their sacrifice had ended up bringing peace to their home. Dark brows furrowed for a moment, "So I'm locked up in Azkaban for thirteen years then? Merlin." Reaching up with his free hand he rubbed the pads of his fingers over his brow, shaking his head. "How did I actually manage to escape?" It was unheard of for a witch or wizard to escape the prison, and he was sure that the Dementors had gotten right mad over that.

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gryffatheart
2013-02-27 08:59 am UTC (link)

"I know it's hard to hear," Harry replied quietly, giving Sirius' hand a squeeze. "I don't like being the one to have to tell you. Whatever happened back home, it doesn't matter here. We can have a life together, all of us. It doesn't have to be like that here. Mum and Dad are alive, you're alive. Remus is alive. You guys can have the lives you were meant to have. That's what's important here, isn't it?" He wanted to focus on the good instead of the bad that would be Sirius' future. He didn't deserve that. Neither did his parents or Remus. He could forget all about his past if it meant giving them all a chance at a happy future.

Harry smiled slightly at Sirius' question. "You never lost hope. You knew you were innocent. The Dementors couldn't take that away from you. When you saw Scabbers - Peter, I mean - you transformed into Padfoot and escaped in your Animagus form. It was brilliant of you really. You found me at Privet Drive. I thought I'd seen the Grimm. You were there though, watching over me." He said it with a smile. "You nearly got Kissed too, but I'd used a Time Turner and ended up saving the both of us. It all worked out. That's the important part, Sirius. You were the only family I had and you never stopped trying to be there for me, even though I was a moody, rotten teenager," he replied. He could be amused by it now. He'd been an arse back then. They were better off this way.

"I just want to enjoy the time I have with you. You and Mum, Dad, Remus. I never got this. I want to get to know all of you, and now that I'm older, I can appreciate it instead of sulking. I can't...I can't begin to tell you how much this means to me and it breaks my heart to have to bear all this bad news." Harry felt himself getting emotional and he felt bad about it. It was a lot to go through in such a short period of time and he'd just gotten hugs from his parents for the first time in his life. It was all getting to him.

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brightstarblack
2013-03-03 04:14 pm UTC (link)

Hard to hear wouldn't exactly what Sirius was thinking at this point and time. He was thinking that copious amounts of alcohol was the right course of action. For a good bit too he'd wager. There wasn't going to be anything easy about dealing with this, the death of his friends, and everything else going on. Sirius could feel it deep down in his bones. He glanced over at Harry, giving a nod. "It is. Hopefully we'll all stay here." His voice was quieter than it normally was, any bravado that it'd once had gone. All of them died.

He snorted softly, looking over at Harry with a somewhat amused smile. "The Grimm, really? James always said I looked scary from far off, I suppose it isn't that much of a stretch." Hope was what kept him alive, that made sense. Hope was a valuable tool, and if one ever lost it then nothing mattered. Reaching over he placed his free hand on top of Harry's, giving a gentle squeeze. "And know that I'd do it all over again, even if you were rotten." Sirius's family had consisted of the Potters after everything went to bunk with his own, he owed it to James and Lily to do the right thing - which was what he'd always done for the two of them.

He patted the top of Harry's hand again, feeling his sadness as he spoke. "Don't feel bad. We were bound to find out one way or another, and it's better that it comes from you than from some other person." It seemed like more and more from their world were making their way to the hotel, and so in the long run it was for the best that Harry did tell them about their perspective futures. "So, onto happier things. Let me see pictures of your children and tell me about them."

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gryffatheart
2013-03-04 10:01 am UTC (link)

"Sirius-" Harry was about to plead with his godfather, but there was no taking back what he'd said. There was no fixing this, not in a quick or easy fashion. Harry wanted to kick himself, repeatedly. If anything happened to Sirius because of him, he'd never forgive himself. He knew the pleas would fall on deaf ears though, or ears that weren't ready to hear it. Harry took a deep breath and let it go. He'd just watch over his godfather as best he could and hope for things to turn out okay.

Harry offered a small smile at Sirius' reassurance. "I don't think there was much chance of me being rotten, but I know you would've done anything you could for me. You did, you know. You always put me first. Dumbledore insisted I stay with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, but that didn't stop you from trying to get me to spend time with you at Grimmauld Place. I got a few weeks shaved off my summer stay with them so I could stay with you and the others. You let us use your home as headquarters for Order of the Phoenix. It was helpful, Sirius. You made a difference, in everything." It was important that Sirius knew that.

When Sirius changed the subject, Harry hesitated. He wanted this to be resolved, for Sirius to be okay. It took him a few moments to come to grips with the fact that it wasn't something to be fixed overnight. It might not be fixed at all. Harry would do anything to make sure that didn't happen. "All right," he relented, finally smiling. He pulled away to reach into his back pocket. There were a few pictures there, one each of James, Albus, and Lily, one of the three of them together, one of the five of them, and one of just Ginny and Harry, from early on in their relationship. From when they were still happy. "The oldest, that's James Sirius. Sorted into Gryffindor. Younger than him is Albus Severus, and younger still is Lily Luna. All of the photos are fairly recent. I've made it a point to have them photographed once a year, so we'll have plenty of them as memories," he explained. "They're great kids. James makes me think of what you and James would've been like. Al is much quieter, and LilyLu. She's a daddy's girl through and through. I was wrapped around her pinky from the day she was born." Harry wasn't the least bit upset about that. He loved his little girl.

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brightstarblack
2013-03-04 11:44 pm UTC (link)

There was a small smile that passed over Sirius’s features when Harry spoke his name, the slight pleading tone to it causing him to glance away. It was so much to take in, so much to try and come to terms with. Sirius knew it wasn’t going to be easy either, but he’d find a way to cope. He always did. If there was one thing anyone could say about Sirius Black, it was that he was a survivor. He might not be anything much, but he was at least that.

His gaze went back to Harry, though at the mention of Grimmauld Place his face screwed up into a look of pure and utter disgust. Merlin, he’d hated being there, but the thought of making his mother turn over in her grave at the fact that it’d been used as the Order’s headquarters did bring a small smile to his face. “I’m glad that we did get to spend some time together then.” He offered with a nod, “I—I’m glad that I did make a difference. I just wanted the bloody war to be over with. I was tired of running, fighting, but honestly? I didn’t think I was going to make it out alive. Hell, from where I was standing it was pretty much a given that I wouldn’t.” It was true enough. He would’ve willingly done whatever it took to keep the Potter’s safe. It had never been an issue for him; it was why Sirius hadn’t invested in any sort of long term relationship outside of his friendships. There had never been a need for that since his future had already been mapped out for him as far as he was concerned.

Reaching forward, Sirius took the photos though he didn’t lean back in his chair. His lips curved up into a small smile as he looked over his godson’s children, his wife, his family. A bark of laughter came from him at the name of his eldest, “He looks like a little troublemaker.” His brows furrowed slightly at the mention of Ablus’s name, but he didn’t comment yet on it. “You’ve got a lovely family, Harry.” He nodded, handing the pictures back over to him. “I’m sure that they’ll all turn out to be fine additions to the wizarding community, though I must confess I’m a little bewildered as to why your son is named after Snape.” His brows rose a degree as he looked over at him.

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gryffatheart
2013-03-07 05:35 am UTC (link)

Hearing Sirius talk about the inevitability of his death made Harry feel incredibly guilty for the way the man actually died. It had been all his fault, letting Voldemort use him the way he had. Harry could never take that back but he had a chance to make it up to Sirius here. He'd do what he could. That was all he was capable of doing at least, just his best. He'd absolutely do his best for Sirius, for Remus, for his parents. It was everything they deserved from him. He wanted to give that to them. Here, they could have the life they'd never gotten at home.

"Plenty of time. You showed me the family tree and we had fun trying to remove your Mum's portrait from the wall. I'm not sure there's ever a Silencing charm strong enough for that portrait. She was a right piece of work. I think that it made you happy, making that place do some good for once. And it really did." He managed a smile then, before the conversation turned to his kids.

"He's a complete sneak but in a loud kind of way. Al is sneaky in the quiet sort of way that you really have to watch out for. I imagine he's only gotten much sneakier as he's gotten older," he replied with a smile. Harry was certain Al and Sirius would get along well. In fact, he'd even wager they'd be a good balance for each other. It didn't hurt that they were the same age just about too. "Snape protected me while I was at school and he treated me in a way that compensated for the special treatment I got from just about everyone else. I know it doesn't sound like it makes much sense, but he was on the right side of the war for a very long time," Harry promised. He hoped Sirius would understand that much.

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brightstarblack
2013-03-12 03:56 am UTC (link)

Snorting Sirius gave a roll of his eyes, "Figures she'd do that, and no. Even when she was alive there wasn't anything magical or otherwise that could drown out her screeching." His mother had been a crazy old bat, but the loss of his family had hit him rather hard. It wasn't something that Sirius talked about. He'd merely wanted to be heard, to belong, and he'd found a 'family' of his own with the Marauders.

It seemed like he would make out alright in the end, somewhat at any rate.

Sirius couldn't help but to keep smiling as Harry talked about his children. He hoped that maybe one day he'd get the chance to get to know them. Giving a nod, Sirius pursed his lips in thought. "I see." Sirius wasn't one to really believe in second chances, or that Snape - of all bloody people - could be good. "I will have to take your word on that, Harry. I haven't seen proof yet that he wasn't anything more than a Death Eater. I will do my best to treat him with as much respect as I can muster if I do happen to run into him." He offered another nod, and smile.

The least he could do was offer that, respect. Harry had done him a great favor by coming by and telling him everything. Glancing up at the clock, he shifted in his seat. "I do suppose I should let you get to other matters. I promised your dad a drink." He chuckled softly, moving to stand before he walked Harry to the door.

He placed his hand on Harry's upper arm, giving a gentle squeeze. "Don't ever be a stranger, you hear? My door is always open for you."

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