clare macmillan (clarema) wrote in hotelcali, @ 2016-01-18 20:05:00 |
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Entry tags: | adri hawke, clare macmillan, zac fallon |
Who: Zac, Adri, Clare, and some of Zac's friends
What: NYE stuff
Where: A bar on the west side
When: Backdated to New Year's Eve
Rating: Bad language, most likely
Zac couldn’t remember the last time he had actually gone out to celebrate New Year’s Eve, for any number of reasons, whether he was on duty wherever he was stationed or whatever. He hadn’t exactly wanted to come out tonight into massive sea of humans, most of whom were incredibly drunk, but some old Air Force buddies he’d served with had insisted that he come out with them because, as they also insisted, ‘it’ll be good for you!.’ Zac wasn’t opposed to socializing and, thankfully, he had been able to ditch the cane a couple of weeks earlier, but he was still stuck wearing the his knee brace to move around. At least the brace fit under pants, so that was something. Anyway, he didn’t know the name of the place his friends had taken him, but he supposed that didn’t really matter either.
At the moment, Zac had managed to squeeze his way across the room from his group of friends in order to make it to the bar so he could wait to get an overpriced beer to replace the one he had finished on his way here. While he waited for the bartender to make his way down the bar, he wondered how long he would have to stay before it would be reasonable for him to make an escape. He roughly knew where in the city they were, so he was also thinking about what possible food he could get on the way home. It wasn’t that he was having a bad time, he wasn’t. It was nice to socialize. The general swell of people that were out and about and in the enclosed space, however, had been making Zac feel uneasy for reasons he couldn’t even figure out.
Clare was out tonight with Adri. They had been to a few places in the area and were just generally pub crawling without any particular goal in mind. It was late enough in the evening that Clare was drunk, but she was still a lady, so she wasn't sloppy or anything. She didn't particularly have any opinion on New Year’s Eve either way, but it was always nice to have some time off of work and an excuse to drink.
Speaking of drinking, she needed another one. Adri was talking to a few people, so she left her side to order a couple new glasses of them. After squeezing her way up to the bar, she leaned over and held out her clutch to catch the eye of one of the bartenders. She made sure to lean over enough that it wouldn't just be her bag that would catch his eye. Clare knew how to use her considerable assets to her advantage, which was part of the reason why she wore a dress with a v-neck tonight.
As she was leaning, she spotted a familiar head of hair and lowered her hand down to the bar. The bartender quest was momentarily forgotten. “Zac!” she called with a grin.
Zac snapped out of his temporary daze. His mind had started wandering since he knew it would be a while before he was helped tonight based off of his own gender and stature. When he heard his name, he gave his head a shake and turned in the direction of the voice before he even realized he had recognized it. His face brightened and he smiled when he saw her. “Clare!” He called back before he prepped himself for it and started to squeeze his way down to her while trying to piss off the least amount of people in the way between them. “Hey,” He said once he had finally made it, resting his hand on the bar to hold a bit of his weight.
Clare stayed put and let Zac come to her. Once he was by her side, she pulled him into an ethusiastic hug. Yes, she was drunk, but she was also happy to see him. With all her work and the holidays, they hadn't had a chance to spend much time together since Thanksgiving. He'd been on her mind, but she also tried not to think of him too much. She didn't want to fall down the rabbit hole of rekindling things with her ex-boyfriend again. Things had never worked out in the past, so it wasn't as though anything would magically change now.
So she gave him a squeeze and then pulled back. "Surprised to see you out here tonight! Did you come on your own?"
He chuckled lightly when she pulled him in for that hug, but leaned over and wrapped his arms around her to give her a tight squeeze in return. He wasn’t all the drunk yet, but he was on his way there and in buzzed territory. He dropped his eyes momentarily and gave her a sheepish shrugged. He shook his head and pointed over his shoulder in the general direction of the area where he’d left his friends. “Nah, couple of old air force buddies insisted that I join them for a night out of expensive drinks,” he smiled. “I’m told that’s supposed to be good for me.” He said with a smirk. “What about you - night on the town alone?” He asked, glancing behind the bar to see how close or far the bartender might be at that point to get them some drinks even though the guy probably wouldn’t have responded to Clare beckoning him much quicker than Zac for obvious reasons.
Clare grinned a little at Zac’s shrug. “No, I'm out with Adri,” she explained, gesturing over her shoulder. Zac had met Adri once or twice in the past when he was on one of his trips home to LA. “Just getting a few more drinks.”
Zac's eyes squinted in thought for just a moment as Clare mentioned the friend she was with before he nodded once he realized he knew who she was referring to as he glanced on the direction she motioned toward into the crowd. "Tell ya what, let's tag team - you get the bartender's attention, I'll buy the drinks?" he arched his eyebrows as he grinned.
“That,” Clare said, with a light smack to his chest with the back of her hand, “is a brilliant idea.” So she leaned forward again to put her tits back on display as she tried to flag down the bartender. He came walking over in under thirty seconds. Clare had a very smug smile on her face.
Zac chuckled and shook his head. “Clear gender inequality, that’s what this is,” He smirked and let her know which beer he had been drinking so she could relay the order while he grabbed his wallet from his pocket.
Clare just smirked at him and shrugged her shoulders up before asking for his beer, Adri’s dirty martini, and her own Rob Roy. “I have to take advantage of the advantages whenever I can,” she said somewhat nonsensically as the bartender got to work.
Zac grinned, unable to stop himself from his ridiculous retort, “I’ll gladly pitch in and help take advantage of your advantages, should my assistance be requisite at any point in during the course of the evening.” He couldn’t help but snicker at his own comment. It was so stupid, really it was. When the bartender was done with their drinks, he arched his eyebrows for the price and then fished out enough to cover it and give the guy a tip from his wallet.
Clare snickered at his reply and then gave him a huge smile after he paid. “Thank you very much, kind sir,” she said, lifting her glass and Adri’s. She lifted Adri’s a bit higher. “I've got to drop this off to its owner, but do you have to run off back to your friends?” She hoped not.
Zac put his wallet back in his pocket and picked up his beer. He lifted his hand and gave her a joking little salute. He arched his eyebrows and glanced in the general direction of where he had left his friends. “I don’t think they’ll miss me all that much,” He said as he turned back to Clare with a smile.
“Perfect,” Clare smiled and then nodded her head in the direction they needed to go. She led him straight to Adri, who was talking to a few people in a larger group. Clare arched her eyebrows for her as she approached. And held out her glass, of course.
Zac followed her through the crowd. Adri had spotted the towering ex-flame following behind Clare and didn’t bother concealing the amused smirk on her face as the two approached. “Thank youuuuuu,” she said in a somewhat inebriated singsong tone. “Send a girl for drinks and she brings back a marine – your skillset is a well-oiled machine, Macmillan!” Adri smirked and then looked at Zac. She lifted her glass slightly. “Belated welcome home…” She squinted and tried to remember his first name buttttttt she’d had a nice handful of martinis so far tonight and her mental computing skills weren’t 100% at the moment.
Zac arched his eyebrows slightly and lifted his beer to tap to her glass since she was making a little toast and all. “Thanks,” He said. “Good to see you, Adri,” He smirked a bit at his advantage of having had Clare remind him of her name already.
Clare gave Adri a small shrug when she saw her smirk and took a sip from her glass. Her brain wasn't operating at full speed either, but she still caught on that Adri was fishing for a name. “Zac’s here with some friends,” she said, smirking a bit herself. “We ran into each other at the bar and good thing because we were able to pool together our resources and pull off a successful operation.” She lifted her glass and then took another sip.
Adri arched her eyebrows as she took a drink from her glass as Zac's attention was rather obviously pulled toward Clare. "I appreciate the mission specs," Adri said. "So much for retirement, though, huh?" She smirked at Zac and then looked around their area as if she might know who his friends were. "Are these friends you're with fellow operatives?"
Zac chuckled and squinted to a nearby corner to point his friends out. "Most of them, yeah," he nodded.
"Mmhmm" Adri hummed as she took another drink from her glass. "Are they operating solo missions?"
Zac let out a snort of laughter. "Of the hookup reconnaissance variety, I believe so, yes," he nodded.
"Hmmm," Adri took another drink from her glass as she surveyed the indicated group.
Clare followed Adri’s line of sight and laughed. “The term ‘wingman’ feels especially apt right now,” she commented after taking another sip.
Zac grinned and offered an innocent shrug. "There're some jobs you just never get to retire from," he quipped.
Clare grinned back at him for maybe a few beats too long before remembering Adri was there. She turned to her friend and arched her eyebrows. “Shall Zac introduce us?” she offered.
"He shall!" Adri agreed with a cheer. "After you, General!"
"Sergeant," Zac replied before he could stop himself. He glanced between Clare and Adri and then looked toward his friends so he could start making a path through the crowd. He tried not to hobble while also trying not to step on or knock into anyone as he weaved a path. Once he made it back, he introduced Clare and Adri to his air force friends, Jack, Scott and Nick, who were equal parts amused and impressed that Zac had returned with more than his beer. Adri wasted no time letting them fall into telling her their services stories. Adri countered their stories with her own war stories as a pediatrician. Zac shook his head with amusement at the whole thing and didn't stray all that far from his spot next to Clare.
Clare was only partially paying attention to their conversation out of politeness, but mostly she spoke to Zac here and there on the side. She asked him how his knee was doing, how his Christmas was, stuff like that. Occasionally his buddies would chime in. Scott was especially prone to butting in on whatever she and Zac were talking about.
Eventually Clare’s drink was finished and she looked up at Zac. “Up for another?” she asked, mostly as an excuse to separate themselves from the flight crew.
Zac lifted his beer to finish it off. "Definitely," He nodded. His friends were great but Scott's intrusions were no fun. He'd gladly take a reason to go talk with Clare alone (well, relatively, considering), any day. So he followed her to start making their way back to the bar on refill special ops number two.
The second mission was a success, and possibly even better than the last one. This time, after they had their new glasses, Clare led Zac in the opposite direction of his friends so they could have some time to talk. She was sure Adri could hold her own with the crew, and if one of the guys wasn't on the up and up, Zac would have warned her before leaving Adri alone with them. So she felt fine bringing Zac to a quieter corner of the bar. She also felt drunk. Which was very nice.
“It's so strange seeing you here even though this city would probably be considered your territory,” she said after they had grabbed a standing table from a group that abandoned it. “Seeing you in one place for so long…” Even when they were dating, it had always been more of a long distance sort of thing considering Zac lived closer to the base and she lived closer to her university. Now they were just a short drive away from one another and running into each other in bars. Very strange.
Yeah, the crew were harmless enough. Adri, he could tell, would give them a run for their money. He smiled at Clare after having assured her that his knee was good and he was making his way through the rigors of physical therapy at a steady pace and all that. “I admit...it’s kinda nice knowing I won’t have to leave again any point in the future,” He smiled. “All the same...I think this qualifies as more as your territory than mine still,” He said. “You’ve put in more time than me the last few years,” He grinned.
Clare tilted her head with a hum. “Hmm, we’ll have to agree to disagree. I'm not so sure I'll ever completely think of this place as home.” She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “S’not bad though, mind you,” she grinned, gesturing toward him with her glass. “Still can't get used to holidays without snow, though.” But that was probably a good thing, since holidays reminded her of family that wasn't around anymore as well.
There were worse things to miss than snow, but Zac wasn't about to say that out loud. He didn't need to remind Clare of what she already knew, obviously. "Yeah, but you've gotta admit...the vast swath of cuisine variety is damn delicious," He grinned as he picked his beer up for a quick drink.
Clare laughed. “That is very true,” she nodded. “It’s hard to beat Los Angeles when it comes to food.” She took a sip from her drink and arched her eyebrows at him. “Have any plans for 2016?” She knew he was sort of in limbo, not sure what to do with his life, and she didn’t want him to feel any pressure from her question, but she was still interested in hearing if he had been thinking about anything.
Zac pressed his lips together lightly and shook his head with a little half shrug. "Nothing solid," he said. "Even if finding something somewhere in the realm of paramedic slash EMT didn't mean I had to start all over at square one with training, still need the knee to be up to snuff to feasibly be hired for something involving heavy lifting," He said it with a small forced smile, as easy and nonchalant as he could manage but really, to say he wasn't frustrated to be living in his mother's house at his age while doing mostly physical therapy and wandering trying to figure his head out would have been a laughable lie. It was one he wasn't even going to attempt to tell, especially not to a person who knew him as well as Clare did. Or, had known him as well as Clare had. "How bout you? Is it all young adult apocalypse stories from here on out for the foreseeable future?"
Clare gave him an encouraging smile as he answered, and then laughed at his question. She figured her query was enough torture for one night (she could tell his smile had been forced) so she cut him a break and didn't pursue the line of questioning any further. "I hope not, but then again they are very lucrative," she smirked. She didn't expect to end up in the young adult genre, but it hadn't been bad so far. Especially with a series that was actually well-written unlike a lot of the cash grabs out there.
“I suppose it could be worse, in that case?” He grinned, trying his best not to seem too relieved to have been let off the hook so easily. “Ever consider going back to writing yourself?” He picked his beer up for a drink from it.
Clare wrinkled her nose as she took another sip from her drink. She shook her head as she set the glass down again. "Nooo," she laughed a bit. "I think that stage of my life is very much over." Particularly the stage when she was writing a lot of really fucked up short stories after her parents died. Zac had read some of those and the fact that he was probably remembering them made clare feel a bit embarrassed. It had been a strange time.
Zac almost told her that was a shame since he probably a lot more morbid facts she could have put to good use, but didn’t think it would be good to mention that or to actually bring up. He grinned though. “Yeah?” He asked. “I guess it’s just hollowed out books full of hidden treasures and riddles in your house now, then?”
Clare let out a loud laugh. "Yes, we have to put those blocks of paper to use somehow now that everyone's got e-readers. Just entire shelves of hollowed out books at home."
A large, stupid grin spread across his face when Clare laughed like that. “All this time and you haven’t figured out a use yet?” Zac chuckled and shook his head. “At least we know your bookshelves will hold up under the weight of it all?” He grinned.
“Oh, they're very good shelves,” Clare smiled behind her glass before taking another sip. Then she leaned over to try and get a look at Zac’s watch. “How long ‘til midnight?”
“Not long, I don’t think,” Zac turned his wrist to give her a view of the watch and took a drink from his beer before setting it back on the table.
“Mm,” she nodded, squinting at the watch before straightening up again. She took another sip from her drink and gave Zac another smile. “I ate all the toffee crisps.”
Zac chuckled. “Did it last to Christmas at least?” He asked, doubtful that they could have. He figured the tea probably stood more of a chance of surviving this long as opposed to the candy.
Clare burst out in another laugh. "Hell no," she said through her chuckles. "They barely lasted me past Thanksgiving."
Zac laughed. "I suppose from here on out you'll have to rely on Amazon or something," he said. "Though they'd probably get to you faster than Zac Mail Delivery Service," he joked.
Clare took another sip and smiled as she lowered the glass. "True, but I think Zac Mail Delivery provides better service."
"Is it the uniform or the pretty face?" He asked. "It's the pretty face isn't it?" he leaned his elbow on the table, set his chin on the heel of his hand and made a show of batting his eyelashes at her.
Clare actually giggled at that. "Can't it be both?"
Zac grinned. "I suppose it could be...but I think we both know the uniform would be nothing without the face," he lifted his free hand and waved it to gesture at his face.
Clare put her elbow onto the table so she could rest her chin in her hand as she grinned back at him. "That's very true," she said, eyes skimming over his face since he was pointing it out and all.
Thankfully all of the marks on his face from the accident were gone now save for one little divot toward the top of his right cheekbone that had had a single stitch in it back when they had patched him up in Germany. He was still hoping that one would fade, even if it wasn't all that noticeable to most people. Scars below the neck were a different story. Anyway. Zac grinned as he watched her eyes move. "I'm glad you're here, ya know," he said, meaning the city. It was much more convenient than if she were still in London after all.
"I'm glad I ran into you too," Clare smiled, thinking he meant the bar.
Zac opened his mouth to explain what he meant, but the entire bar started the midnight countdown. Zac stood up straight a little faster than he'd meant to at the fairly loud roar of noise it caused. He gave his head a quick shake and glanced at his watch before he looked over at Clare. "Still easily the most distracting woman I know, clearly," he joked.
Clare lifted her head in surprise and looked around before bringing her eyes back to Zac. She chuckled at his comment. "Oh, stop," she half-smiled, waving him off by giving him a light whack on his arm. She left her hand there on his forearm for just a moment too long before dropping it as she joined the countdown.
Zac grinned at her reaction. He joined in the countdown since he felt obligated, but his focus was actually predominantly on the way Clare’s hand lingered on his arm and her face as she counted down. There was a moment once midnight hit when he wasn’t sure whether or not kissing Clare would be inappropriate, butttttttttt it was New Year’s and he wanted to, so he reached out, wrapped an arm around her and stepped closer as he swept her in and leaned down to kiss her. At worst it could be blamed on tradition, right? Right.
Clare had been wondering herself if she should kiss Zac—for tradition, of course—but his brain must have been working faster than hers because before she knew it, he was leaning in for it. She lifted her hand back to his arm and leaned up to return the kiss, though she kept it short and polite before she pulled back with a smile. She hoped it was a friendly smile, because this was just a friendly kiss between two friends. She certainly wasn't giving him mixed signals or anything.
Soooo they were operating on the side of tradition. Right. Yes. Zac could handle that. Yup. But not without a few too many thoughts about the sad fact that that kiss was far too chaste for his liking. He smiled, though and leaned closer to call out a, “Happy New Year!” To her over the loud drunken singing/cheering that was still filling the bar. He started contemplating whether or not he should suggest another round of drinks to distract himself from wanting to kiss her again.
Clare was glad Zac seemed to get the hint, but when he leaned closer she thought for a second he was going in for another kiss. She almost pulled farther back before he spoke, and she was glad he didn't have to see her do that. "Happy New Year!" she shouted back.
She lifted her hand again to give his arm a quick—friendly—squeeze and then glanced around. "Perhaps we should find our friends?" she suggested, turning back to Zac and arching her eyebrows. “Wish them Happy New Year as well?”
Zac turned to look over his shoulder in the general direction they had left Adri and his friends in when they had gone for another round of drinks and tried not to feel immensely claustrophobic about wildly uncoordinated packed crowd of drunk people they would be wading through again. “Ah,” he nodded. “Yeah,” He called back to her before he turned in the direction they would need to head. This was not a problem Zac was used to. He wasn’t claustrophobic really in the slightest. Or he hadn’t been before at least. He licked his lips and tried to tell himself to stop being stupid and then glanced at Clare as he started attempting to weave into some kind of path back toward the almost opposite corner of the bar, not that the place was particularly massive or anything, but still.
Clare smiled when he glanced at her, but then her forehead wrinkled slightly. “Everything all right?” she asked, hoping he wasn't upset about the aftermath of the kiss.
Zac nodded and called out a, “Yeah!” but it was so loud in the particular group they were cutting through that he was sure she couldn’t hear him so he just gave her a thumbs up and kept on moving, figuring if he at least didn’t stop he’d be alright.
Adri spotted them thanks to Zac’s height, before they had quite made it back to the little group. She ducked around one of Zac’s friends and shouted Clare’s name over the roar of the crowd just before she reached out and grabbed her back the shoulders. She shouted a very drunk, “Happy New Year!” right before she pulled Clare in for a hug and a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.
Zac had smirked and was mid-step through the last little throng of people before he would have made it back to the little bubble of space their friends were in when the person now directly to his right pulled the strings of a handful of party poppers mere inches from the side of his head. Eyes almost immediately glazed over, Zac felt his left shoulder drop and he was moving like he was ready to take a dive through the sea of people in the opposite direction of the poppers.
Jack had spotted what happened as it was about to so before Zac even registered what was actually going on in the present, Jack had caught him by his arm and stopped him from flinging himself in any direction and had started pushing him quickly through the crowd toward the closest Exit door he could find. He was talking but Zac had no idea what was going on until he found himself outside in the alley next to the bar, doubled over with one hand resting above his knee and the other pressed against his ribcage as if it would calm his heart rate down somehow and gulping down gasps of air as if he’d been punched in the gut.
“Easy, Buddy, easy,” Jack said, giving Zac one single easy whack on the back only when Zac had glanced his way and saw it coming so it wouldn’t startle him. “We probably should have kept you closer for the countdown,” He said, “Sorry ‘bout that, man.”
Clare had been been too busy hugging and greeting Adri that she didn’t notice Zac until she had turned around and saw Jack pushing him away. She frowned and quickly told Adri she’d be right back before she followed Jack’s retreating form. Luckily Jack was tall as well, so she was able to keep track of them through the crowd. She showed up in the alley a few moments after Jack patted him on the back.
“Zac?” she asked, glancing between the both of them and coming to a stop a few steps away.
Zac ducked his head to aim it at the ground and closed his eyes. He told himself just to keep breathing. He picked his hand up off his ribs gestured with a little wave as if he was saying he was fine as he stood up and tried to even out his breathing but he couldn’t get any words out at the moment. It was hard enough clearing his head of the places it had just gone a moment ago, let alone trying to put words together to form sentences. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated from the fear that had hit him. The adrenaline rush that had hit him wasn’t exactly helping make sure the beer in his stomach stayed in his stomach.
“Hey, Clare!” Jack said when Zac couldn’t. “Sorry to pull your boyfriend away right in the middle of it all - needed a little air with all the excitement. Never could handle too many G-forces at once, right Zac?” He gave Zac’s arm a nudge with his elbow, hoping to fully pull Zac back to the present. He had glanced at Clare when she had appeared and again when he said her name but after that his eyes mostly followed Zac, watching for specific signs so he’d know if further intervention was necessary.
“I’m good,” Zac huffed the lie between a few deep breaths as he wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with his forearm.
Clare's frown deepened and she took a slow step closer, glancing at Jack for just a moment before returning her attention to Zac. She'd done some reading up on PTSD since Zac came home and she knew enough to to make any sudden movements during a panic attack.
She wished she could remember what the best course of action would be at a time like this, but unfortunately she was a little too drunk to remember. "Would you like one of us to get to get you a glass of water?" she offered after a moment.
Zac just nodded, figuring that Clare would be the one to go grab it so she wouldn't have to keep watching him act like a weirdo in an alley next to a bar.
"I'll get it," Jack said as he moved to step past Clare to head back inside only to realize he had pushed Zac out through a fire exit door. "Right, he said to himself snapping his fingers and pointing toward the front of the bar. "Back in a sec," he assured before he turned to jog out of the alley and around to the front.
"I'm okay," Zac said between a couple of slightly steadier breaths since he knew Clare was watching him. He wasn't okay, it was a lie and he was entirely aware that they both knew it, a series of facts that only served to make him more miserable really.
Clare nodded. “I know you are,” she agreed, sticking close but not too close. She didn't know if her presence was freaking him out more or not. She hoped it was the latter.
“I am,” Zac repeated. At least he was breathing a bit easier now. He closed his eyes and gave his head a hard shake but there was still a somewhat far away look in his eyes. “I just...wasn’t prepared for….” he shook his head again and dropped his eyes from hers.
Clare tried not to frown again, but she was concerned. Once he stopped looking at her, she stopped trying to hold it back. “There were a lot of people in there,” she said gently. Lots of noise.
Zac could feel the burn in his cheeks. Normal human beings did not freak out because a place was crowded. Scratch that, Zac was not the type of human being that freaked out because a place was crowded. Hell, he had been to much more jam packed places with Clare in the past. He inhaled a long breath and tried to let it out slow. “I should,” He cleared his throat and tried not to frown. “I should go,” He said. “But, I’ll, uh...walk you back to the door,” Since she was here with Adri and all...and y’know, because he kind of didn’t want to see however she might be looking at him.
Clare's forehead wrinkled up further and she shook her head. "Zac...it's all right. I'm not going to abandon you. If I'm making you uncomfortable, then I'll give you some space, but I'm not leaving until Jack comes back." Or until Zac actually feels better, instead of just pretending he did.
He had no idea what it was about the way she said she wasn’t going to abandon him, but it made him irrationally angry. Not that an angry Zac was all that much different than a normal Zac since most of the time he turned those things inward to avoid letting them out in inappropriate situations. Well, most of the time he did at least. He clenched his hands at his sides a few times, shifting anxiously on his feet and shook his head as he set his jaw for a moment before he turned to the mouth of the alley. “I’m not your responsibility,” He said as he started walking. He knew she follow, so at least he could make sure she got back into the bar alright, but Zac needed to be away from here...or everything. He didn’t really know exactly what he needed.
Clare’s face fell. She was drunk and had no experience with this kind of situation, so she was messing it all up. “Zac...that's not what I meant,” she said, though he voice wasn't very loud as she followed after him. He could probably hear her heels clicking. She reached out, intending to put her hand on his arm, but thought better of it and pulled back at the last moment.
Zac let out a frustrated grunt. He stopped walking but then started again. “I know...It’s fine. It doesn’t matter,” He shook his head and turned once he reached the front of the alley again, to head in the direction of the doors. He stopped a handful of feet short of them so that he wasn’t stuck in another random crowd of people on the sidewalk. “I’m sorry - it’s not…” He frowned. “I need to not be here.” He wasn’t really sure how to put it into words so he left it at that. “You should go back inside,” He added, momentarily deflating from his previous impulse to not be still. “I’ll be fine.” He forced a severely weak smile even though he knew it wouldn’t be believable.
Clare felt horrible for being so useless in this situation. “Do you need me to get you a ride?” she offered stupidly, even though she hadn't driven a car and her friend was inside.
Zac tried not to frown again. "I'll be alright," he said. He took a deep breath and finally looked at her without averting his eyes away from hers again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Before he could finish his statement, Jack came jogging from the alleyway, water bottle in hand and visibly relieved when he spotted them. "There you are!" he said as he made his way toward them and gave Zac the bottle.
"Thanks," Zac murmured as he looked down at it in his hand. He looked between the two of them for a moment. "I...think I'm just gonna...head out for the night, though, " he cleared his throat.
Jack looked began Clare and Zac. "You sure? I mean, we can get out of here, the group of us and find somewhere less crowded, or possibly with food? " he suggested with an easy grin. It wasn't like Jack hadn't been through some episodes himself before. He arched his eyebrows at Clare, not sure if she would be on board with the idea or not.
Clare caught Jack’s look and then turned to Zac with a nod and a smile. “Yeah, we could! The ball’s already dropped, so there's not much point to being at the bar anymore.”
Zac frowned and hesitated, trying to come up with something to say in return.
Jack grinned. “C’mon, Buddy - I’ll go in and grab the others if you guys want to find us a ride?” He looked from Zac to Clare. “Unless there’s somewhere nearby you wanna walk?” He arched his eyebrows and looked between them. Zac shifted on his feet, feeling unsure of himself.
Clare nodded at Jack. "I think there's a spot a few minute's walk from here," she said, figuring Zac would be better off walking in the night air than stuck in a crowded Uber. She turned back to Zac to see if his reaction. She didn't want to force him to keep being social if he didn't want to be.
Zac still felt hesitant. But he also felt like he couldn’t say no. So he pressed his lips together and nodded finally.
“Yeah?” Jack asked and Zac just gave him another nod. Jack nodded. He looked from Zac to Clare. “I’ll go in and grab the others?” He arched his eyebrows up and looked between both of them one more time to wait for any last possible objections.
Clare hesitated a moment before saying, "I'll go." She didn't think Zac wanted to be left alone with her again at the moment. She gave them both men a small reassuring smile.
“Yeah?” Jack arched his eyebrows slightly as he looked at Clare. Zac turned his eyes down and scratched the back of his head. He tried not to frown as he busied himself with twisting the cap off of the bottle of water and bringing it up to chug his way through half of it.
Clare waited until she’d turned around before she let the smile fall off her face. She didn’t know if she was helping or hurting and it sucked. Obviously things sucked for Zac more, but she didn’t like feeling helpless, especially when it came to someone she cared about.
The crowd was still thick inside the bar and it took what felt like ages for her to finally reach Adri and the other guys. Once she got there, she plastered that smile back on. “Zac, Jack, and I were thinking about going somewhere a bit less crowded? What do you think?”
Adri arched her right eyebrow up just a little bit when she saw the fake ass smile on Clare’s face. She looked at Scott and Nicky, who seemed like they were agreeable to the deal and figured she’d help usher them along for whatever Clare had up her sleeve. “You heard her, boys, it’s time to buy us a midnight snack - what’re you waiting for?” She cheered, letting them start to make a hole through the crowd so she and Clare could follow. Adri hooked Clare’s arm with her own and followed, arching both her eyebrows up at her. “Mission fubar?” she asked.
Not for the first time in her life, Clare was incredibly grateful for Adri. She stuck close to her side as they meandered their way toward the door. "Mm," she nodded. "A panic attack or flashbacks...or all of the above. I don't even know if I should be trailing along with them." She gave Adri an apologetic look. "Sorry for pulling you out of here."
“Oh, pfttt,” Adri puffed air through her lips and used her free hand to wave Clare’s apology off. “Please,” she gave Clare a lopsided smirk. “In your absence I pitted the Flyboys against each other for a Midnight triple whammy – Men…sooooooooo needy when they’re being graded,” She bounced her eyebrows a couple times before she turned to appreciate the retreating forms they were following while still managing to continue the serious part of this conversation by going on. “This is beside the point – obviously we should trail along, otherwise he’s going to be stuck with a band of drunk war horses neighing in his ear. That’d make it worse, wouldn’t it?”
Clare let dropped her head back with a short laugh, a little sad she'd missed that midnight display. She gave arm Adri had hooked around her a grateful squeeze, relieved Adri was still having a good time. "I don't know, to be honest. They probably have more experience dealing with PTSD than I do." At least Jack seemed like he knew what he was doing.
Adri’s grip on Clare’s arm tightened in an attempt to be reassuring. “Okay, well, scientific method,” And a drunken one at that! “Hypothesis,” with an extra couple of S’es. “We’re positing that trailing along to get food is beneficial for all parties involved - Zac’ll be removed from the place of...being triggered? And possibly, therefore, distracted from his current state of mind,” she twisted her forehead up and pursed her lips as she meandered through this distracting description for them. “We’ll have food to soak up the alcohol we have so diligently consumed tonight, and the boys will fight over who gets to take me home,” She smirked at the joke at the end. “All things being considered equal, it’s entirely possssible this is the best possible outcome given the variable of the Grand New Year’s Eve experiment we have found ourselves entangled in.” She paused a moment and looked over at Clare. “Only way to the experiment conclusion is to follow the obstacle course of variables ‘til it’s through while hoping for the best possible outcome.” By the time she finished rambling, they were almost to the door.
Clare snickered lightly through all of this, trying to parse it as they waded through the crowd. "When you put it like that, this sounds like a perfect plan," she gave Adri a firm nod as Scott held the door open for them. "I do love science," she joked as they exited the bar into the cooler night air. Clare immediately loosened her arm in Adri's and looked for Zac, making sure he was still all right with going somewhere else instead of heading home. Zac was still a little off, but he seemed good enough to go. So they walked a few blocks to a late night burger stand and got some food. It seemed to be the right call because everything went pretty smoothly after that even though Zac was still a bit on edge. Could have been worse, though. And at least everything turned out well for Adri, who ended up going home with airman Scott. Not bad at all.