mods (roadmaps) wrote in homelessplayers, @ 2011-05-07 01:45:00 |
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ROADMAPS PACK YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN BAGS | |||||
LAST TIME ON ROADMAPS...characters have battled vampires in Romania, acquired a diadem that they promptly lost, visited Peru were the Death Eaters acquired Tom Riddle’s Diary, and all the Order got was a lousy t-shirt Peruvian by the name of Jose Carlos, and engaged in epic battles during the full moon. Characters are currently headed/just arriving in New Orleans after the third Horcrux. Roadmaps is a Mauraders Era RPG centered around the hunt for the Horcruxes. This time, the Horcruxes have been scattered across the globe and a mad scramble has erupted between the Order, Death Eaters, and Ministry to reach the Horcruxes first (with journalists trailing behind) before Voldemort can return. Roadmaps is a largely AU game, exploring what could have happened had things gone differently after the Marauders' graduation... | |||||
WE'D LOVE... ROSIER SR...Where all the grown-up Death Eaters at!? Poor Dolohov is drowning in a sea of teen drama and angst and hormones that he hasn't had to deal with since...1910 OR SOME SHIT! Besides I bet this GQ Silver Fox KNEW VOLDEMORT PERSONALLY BACK IN THE DAY! He'd be like bitch plz, VOLDEMORT AND I WERE BFFLS. WE USE TO SHARE PUDDING MTHR FCKS. YOU AINT GOT SHIT ON THIS!. Not to mention he's got mad family up in game already, like his three nieces. And of course HIS SON. I mean Evan Rosier is already in game and running amuck, dating Alecto Carrow and punching out windows and drawing pictures of ghosts. His dad needs to get in here and do some parenting ASAP! BARTY CROUCH JR...is the KING of daddy issues, man. He's like...A REVERSE LUKE SKYWALKER AND DARTH VADER! I bet when you wanted to rebel all you did was secretly get a tattoo or sneak out of the house. THIS HARDCORE MTHR FCKR RAN OFF AND JOINED A GROUP CALLED THE DEATH EATERS! And it was the best decision he ever made! AVERY JR...I don't know if you heard, but Avery Jr has been a Death Eater since like DAY ONE okay! I heard he came out of the womb with the Dark Mark ALREADY ON HIS ARM! Francis Wilkes, Evan Rosier, and Alecto Carrow would so OMFG excited to get their classmate in game with them. And why? BECAUSE HE'S A HARD CORE MTHR FCKR, THAT'S WHY! You don't believe me? Ask Mary MacDonald. He used Dark Magic on her just for the hell of it AND THEN HE KILLED HER FCKIN DOG FOR FUN SO DON'T PUSH HIM! RABASTAN LESTRANGE...You know who wants to see Rabastan in game? EVERYONE! Do you have any idea how fierce this guy was!? I mean his idea of family bonding was torturing Order Members insane! How do YOU bond with your family? MONOPOLY!? The Death Eaters needs more BAMFs who are steadfastly loyal to Lord Voldemort. The entire group are starting to completely forget about The Dark Lord. Volde-who? I don't remember that pokemon! And Narcissa would SRSLY love her male bffle back in game so they can be FLY ASS MTHR FCKRS TOGETHER! Her social circle has become so limited, she's actually starting to find Francis Wilkes TOLERABLE. GOOD MERLIN! FENRIR GREYBACK...WTF!? How do we not have a Fenrir right now!? Is there any character more BAMF than this guy!? I mean he's all Fuck wizards, WEREWOLVES ARE THE SHIT! And not those lame ass Twilight werewolves either! Fenrir would kick Jacob Black's ass and JACOB WOULD LIKE IT! Just look at this intense lycan bastard! Voldemort took one look at him and was all 'I GOTSTA HAVE HIM IN MY POSSE, YO'. AUGUSTUS ROOKWOOD...yo Snape, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish BUT AUGUSTUS ROOKWOOD WAS THE MOST BADASS DOUBLE AGENT OF ALL TIME! This guy was spying on the Ministry for the Death Eaters for YEEEEARS and not only did no one suspect him the Ministry was like OMFG AUGUSTUS ROOKWOOD IS THE COOLEST GUY WE HAVE EVER MET! And we agree! We want him in game. We want EIGHT of him in game! SAVAGE, PROUDFOOD, DAWLISH, & OTHER AURORS...Okay guys, lets be honest. The Ministry members we have right now? Kind of a bunch of pencil pushing pansies. WHERE ARE ALL THE BAMF AURORS AT? You guys need to get in here and kick some ass and take some names and just be MTHR FCKING BOSSES all over the place while these administrative people hide behind you like scared little girls. DOLORES UMBRIDGE...So I know I just called the Ministry administration a bunch of pencil pushing pansies, but when I said that? I was NOT talking about this bitch! I bet you thought you couldn't be a hardcore evil BOSS and still wear pink. WELL THINK AGAIN! This btch right here just rolled through Hogwarts and TOOK OVER LIKE SHE BUILT THAT PLACE HERSELF. Can you imagine how boss she'd be ABROAD! SHE'D PROBABLY START TAKING OVER COUNTRIES ALL OVER THE PLACE! I bet she'd roll up into Turkey and be like IM TAKIN OVER BTCHES! AND IM RENAMING IT CHICKEN!! THEODORE TONKS...Ted is THE OG HOMEWRECKER! I meant he must lay down THE MOST AMAZING GAME EVER cause Andromeda just dropped all her shit to run away with this sexy GQ bastard! I bet he is like PERSONA NON GRATA in the Black family. Bellatrix probably has a dart board with his suave ass face on it. You've got your foxy ass wife AND your daughter AND the sister-in-laws who hate your guts in game and they're all seriously missing you. EMMALINE VANCE...Let me tell you something about Emmaline Vance, this fierce bitch fought in the first wizarding war AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE! People were dropping like flies everywhere and she survived! HOW HARDCORE MUST SHE BE! She's like one of the Charlie's Angels of the Order! She needs to get over here ASAP! DORCAS MEADOWES...Let me tell you something about Dorcas Meadows. Lord Voldemort put this bitch on his hit list PERSONALLY! And I don't mean he just wrote her name down and passed it off to Bellatrix or Dolohov or someone. NO. He pulled a Destiny's Child and was all BELLA I DON'T THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIIS ALASTOR MOODY...I know what you're gonna say about Moody. He's craaaazy. CRAZY LIKE A FOX! How do you think he got that fake eye? BECAUSE I HEARD HE PULLED IT OUT OF AN ENCHANTED STONE AND THEN HAD TO TURN DOWN BEING CROWNED KING OF ENGLAND! BUT THIS AUROR I KNOW SWEARS THAT IT WAS FASHIONED BY SOME DARK WIZARD NAMED SAURON WHO CALLED IT LIKE "ONE EYE TO RULE THEM ALL' AND THAT MOODY TOOK HIM OUT THEN PRIED THE EYE OUT OF HIS COLD DEAD FINGERS! Whatever! You know what? It doesn't even matter, because you can't get more awesome than beloning to ALASTOR KNOWS-FIFTY-WAYS-TO-KILL-A-DARK-WIZARD MOODY? Why? Because he's the most BAMF auror EVER. AUGUSTA LONGBOTTOM...I am seriously SHIT AFRAID of this woman! Remember that time when Voldemort's Ministry sent John Dawlish after her like lol, you canz deal w/ that old lady right? and then she PUT HIS HAPPY ASS IN ST MUNGOS!? Yeah. Yeah. Plus she raised not one, but TWO of the most badass mther fckrs you will EVER MEET: Frank KICKS-ASS-TAKES-NAMES Longbottom and Neville PWNS-HORCRUXES-WITH-ANCIENT-SWORDS Longbottom. She must be like THE YODA OF THE WIZARDING WORLD YOU GUYS! Imagine how fcking hardcore The Order would be if she were around to whip them into shape!! Plus she could like, put Frank and Alice in time out and stuff for the lolz. Misc Wants: We’re in the states right now! We’d love some more American characters. Werewolf/vampire hunters! AURORS! Journalist (photographers!)! Family members on the opposite side of the war! You know. Just to name a few. And if those aren't good enough for you? We've got even more wanted characters right over here! THAT'S HOW MUCH WE WANT YOU WITH US! |