Who: James and Lily What: James is fixing her self-image issues When: Sunday night before Heads rounds Where: Lily's room/ Gryffindor area if they wander Status | Rating: Incomplete | feels
The moment he read the words she was a horrible, James was looking for pants. He had just gotten out of his shower when he texted the Head Girl, asking her to take the night off. His hair was wet, his glasses were somewhere and really, clothes were not the important part of his life at the moment. He still had over two hours before he took over for the watch, after all. But this was more important than freedom. Lily was upset and clearly this was far beyond exhaustion. It made him sick and disgusted with himself. he had missed something that had been on her mind. She was so internal and he was pretty much on the hate-list for her, so he needed to be so careful in watching. But that hadn't been enough, and now she was doubting who she was. The person he cherished and thought was worth every bit of yelling and pushing away, if it meant he could help her a little. But he decided to give her space for once, and that was the cause of the red flag. He apparently hit a nerve he didn't know existed. He had just thought, maybe, if he gave her space, she would want him to listen someday. He thought it would be a step in the right direction. That she would see that he could survive without annoying her. That he just wanted to do what was best for her. And while, yes, he would not push the topic, he made it obvious he was not going to bugger off on her after making her upset. Give her space to calm down and rest up.
But no, he went off and upset her more.
James scurried around his room, finally deciding his basketball shorts were good enough, before pulling on his school hooded sweatshirt and located his glasses before leaving. He told her he was on the way. He was going to tell her, to her face, why he wanted to be there for her. Six years of the worst way to show her he wanted to be on her mind. Probably irreparable damage done to his image in her mind, but that did not change the fact that he cared so deeply for her. When Snape had shamed her in front of pretty much the entire school, it had taken all of her inner strength to not destroy his already pathetic face. He wanted to break every bone in that stupid boy's body. But he didn't. For Lily, because that worthless toerag was important to her. But that did not mean he would ever think she was horrible to him. Sirius made a big deal about how she didn't agree on the fact that he was amazing. Then again, James knew his best mate was biased because that was his brother. All the same, he knew he couldn't blame Lily, not once, for disliking him. He had been a prat to her for years. He purposely drove her up the wall so he was on her mind at all times. The only way James would ever get noticed by her was that way, so he accepted it. She knew his name.
But to think she was horrible. That made him ache. So shoes and proper clothing for a brisk October evening were not as dire as being there for her. He rushed out of the boy's dormitory and across the wet grass toward the girl's side. He didn't care that there were a few Fifth and Lower Sixth Forms hanging around outside. He was Head Boy, he could go wherever he fucking wanted. Including up to Lily's door. he knocked a few times before awkwardly playing with the zipper on his sweatshirt, then messing with his wet hair. So it was colder than he thought. Whoops. "Lils, please open up," he asked in a tone loud enough to get through the door, but so it wouldn't carry through the hall.