James made an unsure murmur of agreement, glancing across at Lily gratefully. He didn't like questioning himself - James was usually the owner of a dangerous amount of self confidence. This sense of unease wasn't like him, but Lily's words helped. If she was so sure of him, then perhaps he could feel a bit better about it all. At least for now.
"I don't think you're 'just a plus' in any group," he told her. After all, Lily was the kind of person people loved. The kind of person who could walk into a room not knowing anyone and leave with twenty new best friends. He couldn't believe that Remus or Sirius would think so little of her, no matter what Peter had said Surely they knew how much she meant to James?
"Well, he was asking about what I felt when you were about," James shrugged as the conversation turned back to Padfoot. "So they're basically the same thing, right?" Everyone knew James hadn't ever had eyes for anyone other than the redhead, after all. As far as he was concerned, 'Lily' and 'love' were all part of the same sentence. He smiled across at her as she slumped down to lie beside him, his hand finding hers on the blankets.
James sighed, his gaze still on her profile. Sirius' sleeping habits had never bothered him, but then he'd shared a dorm with him since he was eleven. Sirius had even moved in with his family, so summers had been much the same. After a while, James had stopped even questioning it. But he supposed they weren't teenagers any more...
"I can have a word with him, if you want me to?" he offered. James couldn't imagine it would go down brilliantly, but what could he do?
It was all a bit of a mess, really. He nodded, turning his attention away from Lily and back up towards the ceiling. In a way it was a relief, knowing she was struggling with the same conflict he was. James had been starting to feel like he was the only one. Apart from one other, maybe.
"Harry said it's the kind of thing that'll eat you up, if you let it. I think he might be right. He reckons I - we should try to move on for ourselves, more than anything." He glanced back at her with a small smirk. "He's weirdly smart for a toddler."
James watched, propped halfway in a sitting position, as Lily sat up and turned to look at him properly. He wasn't quite sure what to say. They'd joked about it before, and of course it has crossed his mind. But still it felt a little like taking a quaffle to the chest. Not entirely unwelcome or unexpected, but still enough to knock the wind out of you.
"Here?" He checked. "I mean, living in our old dorm, with no money or anything?" Not that they needed it at the moment, but knowing they had the full vault in Gringotts had always been reassuring. Still, they'd have time, wouldn't they? Even if it happened quickly, they'd have months to see how things changed.
James sat up properly, still staring at Lily. "I've always wanted more," he replied. "You know that. I just... do you think we could, with everything that goes on here?"