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Peter Pettigrew (p__pettigrew) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,

"I know, but I want her to do it in her own terms. It's the last I can do," he answered, knowing that talking to Lily wouldn't be easy. "I owe her an explanation if she wants one."

Peter shook his head. "I don't want to go back, Prongs. I don't think any of us can. I want the friendship, but I want a better one. I want to be able to talk to you and Sirius and not be afraid that you'll put each other first. I want to have the courage to stand up for what I believe. I want to be better, but I also want you to be better. I let it go for so long until I felt that I couldn't come to you. If I had spoken up sooner, I probably would have made a different choice. I told Sirius that we should strive for more mature, less stupid Marauders."

He sighed. "Maybe that's the other problem. You grew up, got married, became an adult, who had responsibilities to people other than the Marauders, and Sirius and I- we sort of stuck around without growing up. We were the Marauders and you had a wife, but that's not it either. It's not right or fair to you or Lily, because expecting you to put us before her is... well childish." He scratched the back of his head. "I've been thinking a lot about us as you can see."