"All these affairs and orgies I keep having, I can't keep track," he said. "And I'll have you know that my dick can do wonders. Playwitch said so." He shook his head. "Nonsense. It's always wrong when I swear I need to be virginal and having orgies at the same time. How do you not know that?"
He took another swig of the firewhiskey. "Not if Skeeter writes that article. Then I'm really the embodiment of the next Dark Lord, pretending to be a nice bloke, just to take over the world." He raised his eyebrows. "You have a cult? How come I was never asked to join?"
He passed the bottle to Draco. "It's maddening that we know how ridiculous the articles would be, but people still buy and believe it. Not that it matters now. We're stuck here with nothing to do."