|_withoutacause (_withoutacause) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,|
@ 2021-04-08 13:42:00
|Entry tags:||character: lily luna potter, character: sirius black|
RP: Sirius and Lilu
When: After Lunch, April 8th
Where: The Whomping Willow
What: Meetings, Distractions, and Animagus
Sirius headed down to the Willow, trying very very hard not to think about anything and just enjoy meeting his God Granddaughter. She seemed pretty brilliant, even if she did know everything he'd ever done and everything that had ever been done to him and everything he'd allowed other people to do and, and, and fuck he couldn't do this. He couldn't do it. He couldn't just pretend she didn't know about the scars and the days and days in the dark and his mother's wand and the fairy bars and the men and, how was he ever supposed to face her? Why did she even want to meet him when she knew, in a way that no one else would ever know, just how fucked up and broken and wrong he was.
He almost turned back, but stopped at the last moment. He'd promised her he'd go. So he just did what he always did, what he was best at. He repressed. He turned the part of himself having a panic attack off, and plastered a massive grin over the empty place.
This is the best thing you ever taught me Mum. How to smile and laugh when everything is falling apart.
Grin firmly in place he ran the last little way to the Willow, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for Lily.