Re: Cassandra & Sirius
Sirius was a tactile person. He craved physical affection and took any opportunity to touch others. He knew he was needy, was exhausting, was too much. He tried, sometimes, to hold back. It was hard, but he tried. Because while he could take rejection from strangers the thing that scared him more than anything else was rejection by his friends. His small, chosen, and desperately clung to family. So when Cassandra pulled his head onto her shoulder he let her. It was a maternal gesture in a way that Sirius had rarely experienced. His own mother had never touched him like this. So when he next spoke, it was to quietly whisper the deepest, darkest thing that lurked at the heart of him.
"If I don't have them, I don't have anyone. When they get sick of me, I'll be alone."
He spent so much time waiting for that. Waiting for them to realize that he wasn't worth loving. He knew they would, eventually. If they were given the chance. He tried very hard to hide behind loud laughter and manic energy, but the truth was that Sirius was very aware of what he was worth. Nothing. And someday they would know it too, and he would be alone.