Re: Cassandra & Sirius
It would be very easy to ignore her right now. To make some joke and play it off and find someone else who would dance with him. Maybe find Kirley and lose himself in something else. But that would be the cowards way out, and Sirius was a lot of things but he wasn't that. He was Gryffindor. He closed his eyes.
"I want to. I... I miss him. When I'm from nothing had had even happened yet. Not the spying, not any of it." He looked up at her, vulnerability written all over his face. "I know we all make mistakes. It's not just him. I mess up really badly too. Even James and Remus, though not as badly as me. Peter... It was really easy, blaming it on him when he wasn't here. Now that he is..." He looked away again, ashamed. "I haven't even seen him yet. Because I know when I do I won't be able to stay angry at him. But, he got James killed. And I can't, that's, that's the worst thing I can imagine. I keep replaying what could have led us there over and over and over. I can't imagine him doing that. I can't imagine any of the things they say happened. I thought..." he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "This is going to sound stupid, but I thought the four of us, I thought we could survive anything. I thought that as long as we were together nothing really bad could happen. But it does. The worst happens. We fall apart. We don't survive. None of us. We all languish and fight and die. And if that can happen, then maybe what we were wasn't as strong as I thought. And if that's true, then..."
Why was he telling her all of this? She didn't need this shit.