InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "A good sheep is hard to find"

curser (curser) wrote in heureuxlake,
@ 2024-08-20 19:48:00

Entry tags:

Δ complete, Δ text/email/phone/mail, → robert evan kerr, → sean phillips, ∞ 2000: 08

Texts: Any ideas?
Who: Robert and Sean
What: Robert is trying to figure this out and having trouble, so he reaches out to maybe the only person who can understand where he's coming from.
When: Tues Aug 20th 2000
Warnings: Maybe language (it is Robert, after all).
Completion Status: Complete

Text to SP: Hey man, hope the moon wasn't too rough on you.
Text to SP: You up for some brainstorming?
Text to SP: If not, I understand. If not, maybe tomorrow? Still too soon?

(Post a new comment)

wanderingwere
2024-08-22 02:09 am UTC (link)

Text to Robert: Luckily I live as far out in the middle of nowhere as I can. You know I still haven't gotten used to it. Even at my size, feeling myself change, expand and get larger is the oddest, and sometimes painful feeling I've ever experienced.

Text to Robert: Is this brainstorming that can be done over messaging, or does it need to be done over an engine?

Text to Robert: I'm good, now tell me what's got you asking questions like we're back in high school.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	curser 2024-08-22 01:08 pm UTC (link)
	I... fuck. I haven't been able to sleep in the same place as Em yet. There. I fucking said it. I'm goddamned pathetic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanderingwere 2024-08-23 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	You haven't been able to sleep in the same place? Isn't that a good thing...? Oh... Then sleep in the same place as her! What the hell is holding you back? She obviously loves you and I already know you feel the same way, right? You only call yourself pathetic when you really care, Seriously, what's stopping you? What do you need my help with? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	curser 2024-08-23 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	... ... ... The three dots blinked over and over as Robert struggled with how to put it. ... I can't be the only one who still has the nightmares, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanderingwere
2024-08-24 12:10 am UTC (link)

You're not, Robert. Trust me.

We just handle them differently. How often have you shown up to see me elbow deep in the chevy? I have to do it that way. It keeps me sane.

My nightmares are different. I often switch between Bosnia and that hunting trip. I'm either trying to save you and my platoon mates or trying to save Patrick. We made it back, at least physically.

I'm here to help, but I need to know what's haunting you. You weren't the soldier in that situation. What happens to you at night?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	curser 2024-08-24 12:14 am UTC (link)
	Exactly. I wasn't the soldier. I was helpless. Night terrors. Uncontrollable. Screaming, pain, the whole shebang. Dad sleeps right through it, but... I can't put Em through that. And what's worse, what if I lash out? What if I hurt her? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanderingwere
2024-08-24 10:24 pm UTC (link)

You weren't helpless.
I couldn't just give you a gun though, either.
I get that, the night terrors.
Have you hurt yourself in your sleep yet? No Judgment.
That might be a good indication though.
I don't think you would, I've never seen you sleep so I don't know, but I don't think you would.
It there a way you can sleep in the same room with the choice of her moving rooms if she feels like she needs to?
Do you need to borrow my cabin? I can easily find somewhere to sleep in the meantime.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	curser 2024-08-25 06:41 pm UTC (link)
	I punch out sometimes, wake up in fight mode. Kick a lot. And I'm a lot bigger than her. I... Your cabin? That might actually help. When would work for you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanderingwere 2024-08-25 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	I've done it, do you think she can handle it? My cabin, yes. It's in the middle of nowhere and it's somewhere familiar for you so you know it's safe. How quickly are you trying to figure this whole thing out? You tell me when and it's yours. You know where I keep the spare keys. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	curser 2024-08-25 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	I think anyone can, it's Em. I just don't want to fuck this up. ... I'll have to figure things out with Em, but I'll let you know. ... Thank you, man. (Reply to this) (Parent)