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Ram Easthallow (bifoliate) wrote in heureuxlake,

Though he was still 'sleeping' in the guest bad, Ram's routine had changed since Joe's mom got to town. Now, he had to satisfy his instinct to be close to Joe by squeezing contact into the moments when Donna wasn't in the house: early in the morning and late at night. After Frankie's midmorning ritual, Ram had decided to sleep in his own bed. His intended message had been calling Joe home, and Joe had said that wherever he was, home was going to be with Ram.

With Songs in the Attic on Ram's tape player, every time the lyrics lulled him towards that place between sleeping and waking, panic set in as he tried to decide. Did Joe need him in the dream place? Or did Ram need to drag Joe home? Underneath it all, in the darkest corner of a mind increasingly consumed by shadows, Ram worried that whatever choice he made, he wouldn't be able. He would fail whatever challenge Joe needed help with; he wouldn't be able to find the way back from the void to the waking world. What if this was it and Joe never woke up to call Ram gattino and tell him that he loved him?

Sometime after dawn, when the thoughts got too much, Ram pressed a kiss against Joe's temple and went to shower. He still had a couple of hours before Donna was likely to arrive, and if he could do nothing else to convince her he might be worthy of her son, at least he could be clean. Of course, he was still dressed and standing next to the running shower when he realised he'd forgotten a towel.

Heading back into his room, he heard the thump and pushed the door open, heart pounding with terror that something worse might be happening. He was already rushing to the heap of Joe on the floor, entirely forgetting he had stronger and taller housemates who might be better equipped to get his sleeping boyfriend back into the bed, when Joe spoke.

"Joe!" Relief and surprise warred to produce a strangled shriek as Ram dropped to his knees and tried to get his arms around Joe's chest, halfway between hugging him and trying to help him up. "Joe." Voice thick with tears, no other words were firing in Ram's mind. "Are you-" Every breath was coming too fast, none of them fully reaching Ram's lungs. "Is-"