Astrid Hakansson (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} sassy_valkyrie) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} heureuxlake, |
Astrid huffed out a soft laugh at Cole’s raised eyebrow, shaking her head slightly. “Nice,” she echoed, her lips quirking wryly. “Yeah, I guess it’s supposed to be. Like… the ultimate cosmic reassurance, right? ‘The One’ is out there, pre-packaged and waiting, just add existential dread.” She shrugged, trying to keep the tone light, but her fingers fidgeted slightly with the pendant resting against her chest. “The tailspin was more about what it meant. You spend your life, thinking you’re in control, making your own choices, like the choice to continue eating Idunn’s apples, and then BAM! Goddes-given destiny wrapped in gold. It felt like a verdict, not a gift. And there was someone else, too, at the time, so how could I possibly pick? And what if it was neither of them? But that didn’t feel right either. Add to that the whole being immortal while staying in Odin’s service, and knowing that you ‘The One’ is mortal….”
She shifted, letting his words about battlefields sink in, her gaze dropping to the rim of her glass. “No,” she admitted softly, “I don’t think it would be better. You’re right, war hasn’t been fair or noble for a long time. Maybe ever.” Her fingers traced the condensation on the glass absentmindedly. “But there’s something about suburbia, you know? Soccer fields, convenience stores, front porches with holiday decorations… it feels like violent deaths shouldn’t belong there. But they do. It just feels enhanced, when you have to collect the soul of a thirteen year old girl, who was only holding her weapon when she died, because the glass figurine she used to defend her younger siblings from an abusive stepfather, broke and embedded itself into her hand… and you’re surrounded by manicured lawns and white picket fences.” She sighed. “Maybe that’s the part that gets to me. The contrast. The fragility of it all. The fact that it keeps me away from Michael who, unlike me, doesn’t have an option for living eternally.”
When he reached out and squeezed her shoulder, she managed a small, grateful smile, the warmth of his gesture grounding her. She shook her head slightly at his question. “Not really. Valkyries don’t get PTO.” There was a faint attempt at humor in her voice, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s not like I can just… hand in my cloak and take a sabbatical. It’s part of me. It’s how I’ve lived more than half of my life. The Rune shows up when it shows up, whether I’m ready or not.” She glanced at him, her smile softening. “But having someone to come back to… friends… Michael… it makes it easier. Even if it makes leaving harder… and I am always, always terrified of what I might bring home with me.”
She paused for a beat, then added, “It’s why I’m glad you’re back, Cole. You’re part of that ‘coming back to’ thing, too. “She gave his hand a quick, appreciative squeeze before pulling back slightly, her grin returning with a more familiar, playful edge. “Now, enough of this sappy crap. Go pick your song. I need to know just how bad you’re going to butcher Def Leppard.”