"I was very sick with sadness. I think you kept me alive those months, even though what we had was so black. I owe you lots of ... lots of softness now, to make it up." Yep Buffy has a lot to make up for. Since both Andrew, Xander and his dearly missed Anya have blood on their hands I think the only innocent in that whole bunch is Dawn so there should be no pot calling the kettle black so to speak.