Fic: The GrapeVine 1/1
Title: The GrapeVine Author: Lopaka Tanu Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes. Characters: Hana Gitelman Words: 1390 Prompt: Famous Fandom: Heroes Pairing: Mentioned Sylar/Peter, Sylar/Mohinder Rating: Teen Warnings: Language, Vapid News. Summary: Hollywood Reporter Hana Gitelman gives the gossip. Author's Note: Yes, this is a parody of Entertainment Tonight. ______________________________________
On top of the camera, a red light flashed in to life.
"Hey! Welcome to 'The GrapeVine'!" Smiling for the camera, she clasped her hands in front of her immaculately tailored jacket. "I'm your host, Hana Getilman. Tonight is going to be a great show, telling you everything that's happened and going on in the world of Hollywood." Shaking her head from side to side as she spoke sent the curls around her face fluttering.
Looking from one camera as it turned away, she faced another that came from the ceiling towards her. "In our first story, Media Mogul David Linderman was gunned down today, outside his Bellepheron Studios." Her face held a sense of serene dignity. "Police have not given a statement, but witnesses say the shots came from a black Escalade. No other information is as of yet available."
As she blinked, the red light on the camera went out. On the monitor across from her, she saw a picture of Linderman along with the dates of his birth and death. Taking a calming breath, she watched the stage manager count down from five. When he reached one, she raised her chin and smiled for the camera.
The light came back on indicating the camera was recording. "Our next story is a continuing piece on the trial of rapper Masta D.L. As you may know by now, he is charged with the assault of Model Candice Willmer. Today, representatives for the rapper presented their own evidence in court for the first time. Our reporter, Simone Deveaux, has more information on that."
When the light went out, Hana rolled her eyes. Exhaling loudly, she let her stomach fall. There was no perceptible difference in appearance to anyone but her. Still, she wasn't going to risk it.
The makeup girl tried to come near, but Hana glared the woman away. Her appearance was flawless, there was no way in hell she was letting that twit near her.
An intern held up a bottle with a straw. When Hana signaled for him to come over, he rushed to her side. He presented the straw to her for her to sip from.
Careful not to smudge her lipstick, she took a long drink. Mouth full, she waved her manicured nails at him to leave. She swished the mineral water between her teeth for a few seconds before swallowing.
A bell erupted on the set.
Raising her eyes to the ceiling, Hana reached up to begin unbuttoning her jacket. An army of people rushed across the set, removing props and replacing them. Two women helped her out of her jacket and dress shirt. The pants wouldn't be visible, so they could stay.
The new shirt would reveal the straps on her bra, so she unhooked it and let it drop to the floor. A few of the stage hands whistled as she sighed. "Get back to work. We return in twenty-five!"
One of the wardrobe people slid the collar of her silk jacket up over her blouse as the other tied the drawstring collar in place. They let the tassels hang down between her breasts, drawing attention to her cleavage.
Pushing her hair back off her collar, Hana checked her appearance in the monitor. It was too late to have the stylist deal with it now.
Over the ear pieces, the set director told the camera men to do something. Two of them focused on her from different directions.
The stage manager held one hand to his ear piece and counted down from five with the other. On two, he made a cutting motion then pointed to Hana.
Hana smiled for the camera again. "Welcome back. Did the world get warmer while we were away at break? If not outside, at least certainly in court." She gave a small chuckle as the camera raised up with perfect precision. Following them, she winked.
"Today, Peter Petrelli, the so-called good boy of the infamous political dynasty, was the center of a lawsuit. Not as the defendant, but the plaintiff." Tilting her face down, she raised a single eyebrow for a coy expression. "It seems the white sheep in the Petrelli family has a thing for combining cameras and bedroom antics."
The screen image of her burst in to flames. Cackling, she shook physically in a perfected fit. "The defendant named in the lawsuit is none other than Hollywood Bad Boy, Gabriel Gray." Her grin revealed entirely too many teeth. "As you may recall, this is not the first time the 'McNotty Neighbor's' star has been in trouble. Last year's debacle with acclaimed Times Reporter Mohinder Surresh was only recently settled out of court."
A picture of Mohinder and Gabriel at a gala, holding hands, flashed across the screen. When it came back to Hana, she appeared more sober. "According to court documents, Peter is suing Gabriel for, get this, secretly video taping them together with the intention of selling it. The lawsuit seeks to prevent any sale or leaking of the tape. Sorry, girls, the youngest Petrelli's apparently made his preferences clear."
Winking again, she made a gun with her hand and shot the camera. "We'll be back after this word from our sponsors."
The camera's light went out as a bell rang on the set.
People moved quickly to the walls behind her. Stripping the set of props, they replaced them with tiny televisions and linked them to a central device. When it was turned on, the screens all showed the same image.
Standing in the center of all this, Hana stretched her arms out to her sides. Rotating them, she began to count to fifty. When she was done, she held up her arms and flapped them until her pits were dry. That complete, she stretched first one leg, then the other.
The stage manager cleared his throat. The moment he had her attention, he pointed to his wrist and flashed ten fingers.
Eyes wide, Hana checked her appearance in the monitor. Her hair was a little out of place and her jacket flashed open to reveal her skin. On instinct, she dropped her shoulders and let the jacket fall to her feet. She kicked it away, and flipped her hair back in to place just as the camera light came back on.
"Hi there, welcome back." She waved at the camera, curling her fingers instead of moving her hand. "The Sanders sisters are at it again. From the runways of Milan and Paris, to the poker tables of Vegas and Monte Carlo, these two have proven themselves lucky in every sense of the word. 'The GrapeVine's' own Eden McCain has more."
When the light went out, Hana had to pat her stomach twice. A second later, she belched behind her hand.
Checking her hair in the monitor, she silently counted down the time. There was still another half a minute before she was due back on screen. In the mean while, she checked her teeth again. None of her lipstick had stuck to them, which was good.
The stage manager counted down from five, pointing towards her at one.
Turned from the camera as the light came on, Hana raised her chin. She slowly faced it, appearing surprised. "Oh, hey there. It's me again." Giggling, she blinked, scrunching her nose. "In our final story, we're breaking this news. That's right, you're hearing it first from us."
Her image on the monitor was squished to the left in a split screen, side-by-side. On the right was a picture of two men. "Prodigious screen writers Hiro Nakamura and Ando Masahashi, responsible for last year's Oscar winning sci-fi epic, 'Shores of Tongan', have inked a new deal with Paramount Pictures. In the seven figure contract, they will write two sequels to the block buster and option eight other scripts."
The camera to her left clicked its light on, drawing her attention.
Smile a mile wide, she quickly made the transition. "Congratulations, boys. If the first was any indication, you'll certainly be in this business a long time." She took a quick breath as the camera started to pull back. "Well, that's it for tonight. Until tomorrow, this is Hana Gitelman of 'The GrapeVine', saying 'good night'!"
Pursing her lips, she winked for the camera. After a short wave, the light went out on the camera.