Sam Winchester [Supernatural] (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} fireinthesoul) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} hellascenes,@ 2013-10-13 13:53:00 |
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What: Sammy has bad memories
Where: Sam's apartment
When: Today
Warnings: Hell!memories, mentions of violence, abuse, and self pleasure
He slept fitfully, face down in his bed. He kicked at the blankets, tossed and turned, only to return to his face down and prone position. The hallucinations started soon after. First it was his mother, visiting from heaven to remind him how miserable and pathetic he was, how she was glad she died when he was an infant, saving her form having to raise him and see him turn in to a monster. His father, his bother, his younger self. Bobby, Cas, even Anna and Jo and Pamela. He felt their blood and the heat of the funeral pyre hot on his skin. He tore at his clothes, gouged his skin in his haste to undress, thinking that would help him escape the flames that melted his skin and licked at his bones.
Lucifer had once told him Hell wasn't hot, but in fact it was a bit chilly. Sam had seen first hand, how it was both. The temperature was unbearably cold, and the fires of his sin and shame burned just as hot.
All the others he'd killed came to call, one by one or in pairs, their faces white in death, their questions desperate, his answers inadequate. With a strength he didn't know they had, they bound him hand and foot, and they began to disembowel him. Payment, they said, for the others. So many others. Too many to remember, and each one wanted a piece of him. He could do nothing to stop them taking it.
Lucifer stood in the corner, half hidden in shadow. Only Sam could see him there, watching, smirking, enjoying the show.
They all visited him in turn. Jess came down to tell him she was glad she'd died before she made the mistake of marrying him because living and marrying him would have been worse than death. Even Adam, sneering and throwing punches at him for being such a lousy brother. Hell, even the dog he'd had when he was away at college came to him, snarling and growling. He'd been unable to defend himself, and Bo had ripped him to shreds. He'd woken up screaming, face down on the floor. Based on his body aches and the ransacked appearance of the room, Sam was pretty sure he'd been flung against the wall, fighting imaginary foes.
And then there was Ruby, blonde Ruby, short Ruby. They came to him one after the other, to tell him just how they felt about him. Even super charged after his time in hell, he was no match for the wrath of Ruby's rage. She tore him limb from limb, splattering his blood on the walls and the floor.
He must have slept, because when he woke, he was alone. Cold and naked, erection stiff. His hand snaked around his shaft, and he made quick work of it, the spray of release warm against his chilled skin. And there was his mother again, with Dad beside her and Adam and Jess, all of them leering at him, sneering at his shameless self stimulation. He curled into himself, willing himself to disappear.
His screams finally penetrated his shattered mind, as he lay on the floor. Naked and sweating, he felt consciousness claim him in waves, pushing the hallucinations to the shadows, leaving him with the sour taste of vomit in his mouth. It took him some time to get his legs under him, to force himself to his feet.
"'Mornin' Sunshine," a voice purred from the shadows. Sam's eyes darted toward figure of a man standing there, grinning at him. Dressed in jeans and a button down, looking so clean cut and proper, Lucifer leaned against the chest of drawers. "Sleep well? No? Aw. That's too bad, Sammy."
Sam sat on his bed, drew his sheets up to his chin, and sat staring, trembling in the aftermath, determined to ignore Lucifer.