“How about we don’t do this, okay?” she shot back quickly. Elena didn’t want anything to do with anyone, specifically anyone with the sole purpose of flipping her humanity back on. Tyler was minimally tolerable to the vampire, but only slightly and she hadn’t figured out just why yet. Maybe because he currently wasn’t putting up with any of her bullshit? Or maybe because he’d never been completely under her thumb? Either way, she didn’t want him around because like everyone else, his goal was to make her flip it back and Elena could never do that. She didn’t want to feel ever again. Maybe she was running? Maybe she was weak. But the vampire didn’t care. It was easier this way. No pain. No anything. It was just being. Maybe if they had tried it, they would understand her reasoning, but none of her friends had and the Salvatores were hell-bent on making sure it didn’t last.
His sneaker was in the door and Elena used a stocking foot to push it back out. “Get lost, Lockwood. The shelter’s down the street,” she said sarcastically. In that brief moment, she threw all her weight and vampire strength against the door, slamming it shut hard enough to shake the door frame. “You’re not coming in. Go away.” She didn’t want him near her, if he came near her, even for a second, everything might change. He might not give up. He might be able to reach her in a way the others couldn’t and she felt a bit of fear at that, shockingly so. She didn’t want to be who she was because that Elena had too much to lose. In this way, she was safe from ever having to feel any of it again. She had no friends, no family, and nothing else and she didn’t want them. In this state, she was fine with being alone. With being solitary.
Elena clicked the lock into place and slid the chain over. “I don’t want you’re help. I’m not turning it back on,” she continued. Her brown eyes glanced over the lock and chain. It wouldn’t be enough to keep a very strong human out, let alone a hybrid like Tyler. She’d need more reinforcement. She turned and scanned her apartment, the place vacant and empty of everything, but bare necessities. Using her strength, she tugged the nearest chair over and propped it against the door before reaching for another. It wouldn’t be enough if he decided to start pounding away and he’d made no secret about willingly breaking down her door. The vampire took a step back and then turned, blurring to the balcony door and lingering in the threshold. If he got in, she’d jump.