Bastian knew it was difficult for her to not push. For her to stand aside and let him hold those secrets to himself. To not put a guitar in his hands and make him see if it was the same or not. He knew…and he appreciated that she allowed him that time. In a way he knew he didn’t have all the time in the world, not with them. But right now Bastian had so much to try to wrap his thoughts around. So much to attempt to figure out…that he didn’t want music to fall into that category. He didn’t want it to be just….another aspect of his life that felt so changed…so different…despite all the similarities.
“Someday” he agreed with a slight nod of his head. He would give her that. Give her the comfort of knowing he would try…he just didn’t know when. But Bastian knew she wouldn’t let it completely go. She’d remember, and she’d ask. Her stubbornness was something he always admired about her.
The teenage years…Bastian felt he’d come back just in time for that but only now was he realizing that even those were gone. She was moving on into adulthood. The little girl he remembered so clearly as a child. “She could never hate you. No matter how intense those teenage fits may be.” And how he knew Sophie could have them. Her attitude seemed to be well known through the towers. It was something he worried about. Yes he was glad his kid had spunk, that she had fire and fight inside of her. But in the world he knew…that was just asking for attention. The kind that Bastian didn’t want anywhere around her.
“I’ll make her listen one way or another. I know more then I’d like about that aspect of the world. The users. The manipulators. Sophie was smart and had street smarts on her side to a degree too. But not like her old man. There was a whole world out there she couldn’t even begin to understand. He knew he couldn’t shield her from it but he did want to make sure she was aware of it. It was just…not the simplest of conversations. Even with the reality of what he was in front of her he knew her to be skeptical. With reason. Bastian could only nod again, that soft almost resigning gesture to her words. “I can hope…” had the girl had plans to go somewhere far off and get some great education? Was he changing all of that now? He didn’t know…he knew so little about her life.
Bastian shifted enough to be able to rest his head atop her own, his free arm going around her to draw her close while the other traced lightly through her hair. Touch. He knew his touch lacked the warmth it once had but…Bastian craved that touch. That physical reminder of their nearness. “I’ll get right on that…” he mused, and he would of course. As much as he wanted her to get the best education out there….he couldn’t stand to let her go so soon. He…couldn’t risk having her so far out of sight. So far out of reach. He hoped she understood. Hope…
Bastian fell silent for a moment, but though silent nothing felt that way to him. Not with how his mind raced endlessly. “I need…to let you know something.” Bastian finally began, guilt eating at him for the thought of more changes. More harsh bits of life to try to swallow down for all of them. But he had to speak to someone on it…had to get another’s opinion on what it was he was supposed to do with this knowledge. He pulled back a bit, running his hands roughly through his hair. “Alyssa showed up the other day.”