Tavin did all that was in his power to do at such a young age. Or at the least it had seemed like it at the time. Maybe if he had tried to find others to help things would be different right now. But the maybes didn’t matter, they were here. Their parents, that life, helped to bring them all to this damned point. He felt guilt. He felt anger. He felt it all but rarely let it show. There was no point to it, if anything it would only serve to distract him and he couldn’t afford that.
Thinking backwards wasn’t going to help him in moving forward. It was what he always told Jerzy and it was what he tried to live by. Sometimes it was easier then others. Now wasn’t one of those moments. Right now he couldn’t help but think back. To remember the times before all this shit. To remember them before a new brand of hell found them. Made the screaming and fights seem like paradise.
Like long ago he didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew that there was no avoiding it in this. It wasn’t as easy as just being some loving family again. It wasn’t a situation where open arms would cure all troubles. It would be nice if that were the case, but life wasn’t that easy. And as much as he hated it he was brought before the decision of Eliina or Jerzy. Which one to protect. Which one to help. It was too screwed up for words yet was the reality all the damned same. Right now he had to pick Jerzy. The kid was all he’d had for years now and he couldn’t do anything that would put him at risk.
“Don’t know what it is your really wanting to hear or know.” There wasn’t anything exciting to talk about. No happy joyous memory to share with the world. They moved. They ran. They survived. Was all there really was to it. Of course there was more, all the crap beneath, but he wasn’t exactly looking for a show and tell today. He didn’t talk to Jerzy even about the details. Some things were better left unsaid.
A brow arched at her questioning and Tavin could only shake his head “Can’t say I really tried to keep up on them.” He had no desire to ever see them again; they’d been dead to him for a long while now. And his best guess? They likely were dead. Not like they’d lived any sort of life that had longevity. Had they ever looked for them? Tavin didn’t know. “All I know is they didn’t file anything on us up and disappearing on them.” Fuckers. Probably were happy the day they up and disappeared. Or shit, maybe got paid by those that took them.
The words sinking in was about all Tavin could ask for in this situation. He couldn’t get her out of the hole she was in but he could damned well at least offer some advise to keep it from getting any deeper. If there was more he could do, he would, without question. But even asking around was gunna bring some eyes his way and that alone was to be avoided. He had to take some careful steps in this. Which is why her question made him pause slightly. He knew he should brush it off, say most likely not. Instead in a slow exhale of smoke he gave the simple response of “Yeah.”